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A Few Limericks

DRUNKEN OLD Pete... 

Old Pete went out to celebrate new year
Was over the limit from too much beer
Old drunks they never learn
Cos he took a wrong turn
And drove down harbour hill right off the pier. 

He was floundering and kicking his feet 
And didn't see the glow of a sharks teeth 
From Pete's leg took a bite 
To quench his appetite 
And poor Pete's face turned as white as a sheet... 

A passer by heard a scream and a shout 
Threw a rope and managed to get him out
Said "you're lucky to survive 
But you shouldn't drink and drive 
At least in your one foot you won't get gout"... 

He lost his job and he now has to beg 
So to hospital he went for a new leg
They had no legs in stock
And old Pete had a shock 
When they fused beer cans to make him a Peg...

EXPLORER STEW ... 

Two explorers Barthomolew and Drew
Came across natives practicing vodoo 
They ran but were too late
And awaited their fate 
A native shouted "we got us some stew"...

GRETA... 

Greta wanted to stop world pollution 
And warned that there will be retribution
Said " I'll name and shame
Those who are to blame 
And action, less talk is the solution" ...


Written 28th December 2021.

humorlimerick

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Marikate Kingston

Date: 6/17/2025 10:45:00 PM

What a delightfully fun poem. It would make a great song, Drunkin Old Pete. I just finished a poem about a little tipsy leprechaun too. Who was to blame? The drink, Old Pete or the shark? Everyone would know Pete was coming, clang, clang, small bang, bang with the beer can leg! This was funny and made me smile

Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/18/2025 12:38:00 AM

Thank you very much Marikate, I'm happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope your week is going well. Tom

Emilia James

Date: 6/2/2022 1:54:00 PM

Thoroughly enjoyed Tom. Loved the reclycling of the beer cans lol. Emilia : )

Tom Cunningham
Date: 6/2/2022 2:11:00 PM

Thank you very much Emilia, hope things are going well for you. Tom

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 5/8/2022 8:37:00 PM

Creative/fun writes. They made my day. Have a great/blessed day...........

Tom Cunningham
Date: 5/9/2022 12:08:00 AM

Thank you very much Paula, you can never have enough humour Glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Timothy Mcguire

Date: 1/5/2022 5:51:00 PM

Love LOVE! " Explorer Stew" Well done Tom

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/6/2022 3:54:00 AM

Thank you very much Timothy, glad you enjoyed them. Tom

Charles Messina

Date: 1/3/2022 11:02:00 AM

Thanks for always putting a smile on my face, Tom. Your limericks never fail. Love these! Happy New Year and many more! Charlie

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/3/2022 11:03:00 AM

Thank you very much Charlie, and I hope your new year is off to a flying start. Tom

Deb M

Date: 1/3/2022 12:42:00 AM

Ha love the new photo Tom….looks like you’ve been hanging out with the best “Cowdy” in the business!!! Hehe….Happy Trails Tom…. Cheers Debx

Deb M
Date: 1/3/2022 3:21:00 AM

Tom when I saw that photo it made me smile….you and John Wayne Mr Cowdy himself! Love seeing your new photos never know what’s next !! Keep changing them ….cheers Debx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/3/2022 12:49:00 AM

Thank you very much Deb, as you've probably guessed I'm a big western fan. Hope your new year is off to a good start.

Timothy Mcguire

Date: 1/2/2022 6:24:00 PM

I have always loved your limericks! Well done and congratulations on you selection into the poetry anthology. :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/3/2022 12:12:00 AM

Thank you very much Timothy I hope you are keeping well. I just looked at the list, a great honour, congratulations to you too.. Happy New year. Tom

Judy Ball

Date: 1/2/2022 4:25:00 PM

Great job Tom. Loved each one. God Bless and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours. JB

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/3/2022 12:11:00 AM

Thank you very much Judy, glad you enjoyed them. Hope your new year is off to a good start. Tom

Janice Canerdy

Date: 1/2/2022 6:34:00 AM

Good limericks, Tom. An artificial leg made of beer cans--how innovative! LOL! Janice

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/2/2022 9:12:00 AM

Thank you very much Janice, I'm glad that you enjoyed them. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/1/2022 11:20:00 AM

Back to say Happy New Year, Tom!! Hope to see you on some new winner lists when I get time to visit any of them!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/1/2022 11:40:00 AM

Thank you very much Andrea, and I wish you the same with good health and happiness in 2022. Still partying for another couple of days then normality lol. Tom

Indiana Shaw

Date: 1/1/2022 4:53:00 AM

You are the best limerick writer Tom, and how they flow, poor old Pete, and even no laugh a minute Greta gets a plug too, love it, Happy New Year to you and yours . . . : )

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/1/2022 11:29:00 AM

Thank you very much Indiana, im happy that you enjoyed them, wishing you too a very happy and healthy New year. Hope you're keeping well. Tom

Malabika Ray Choudhury

Date: 12/31/2021 5:25:00 PM

Dear Tom, really enjoyed your humorous limericks - you are definitely a master! Wish you a very Happy New Year! All the best ~ Mala

Tom Cunningham
Date: 1/1/2022 1:29:00 AM

Thank you very much Mala, I wish you a happy and healthy New year. Tom

Rama Balasubramanian

Date: 12/31/2021 10:58:00 AM

Wishing you a blissful year ahead friend

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2021 11:52:00 AM

Thank you very much Rama, and I wish you the same. Tom

Delice Arleen Skelly

Date: 12/31/2021 9:18:00 AM

Tom..Best wishes and blessings for 2022.

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2021 9:30:00 AM

Thank you very much for your return visit and good wishes Delice. Stay safe and best wishes to you. Tom

Heidi Sands

Date: 12/31/2021 7:10:00 AM

Creative and funny. Well written Tom. Thanks for sharing Happy New Year ! :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2021 9:29:00 AM

Thank you very much Heidi, im happy you enjoyed them. Wishing you good health and happiness in 2022. Tom

Paul Callus

Date: 12/31/2021 5:29:00 AM

Thank you for the laugh/s Tom :) :) and for delivering a valid message in good fun. Happy New Year, my friend // paul

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2021 9:28:00 AM

Thank you very much Paul, im glad you enjoyed them. Hope 2022 is a happy and healthy one for you. Tom

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 12/31/2021 5:27:00 AM

This is hilarious "He lost his job and he now has to beg So to hospital he went for a new leg They had no legs in stock And old Pete had a shock When they fused beer cans to make him a Peg..." Unless you have lost a leg, then maybe not so much. Happy New Year Tom!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/31/2021 9:28:00 AM

Thank you very much Caren, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope you have a happy and healthy New year. Tom

Deb M

Date: 12/30/2021 5:48:00 AM

Very funny and clever Sir Tom Cunningham( that sounds good!!)….really enjoyed . Cheers Debx

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2021 7:31:00 AM

Thank you very much Deb, im happy that you enjoyed the humour, the last one was a bit of a tribute, if anyone can save the planet she can. Happy New year. Tom

Joanna Daniel

Date: 12/29/2021 10:55:00 PM

Loved these limericks, Tom, Pete's fate sure had me laughing:) wishing you and your family a very blessed, Happy and a Prosperous New year:)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/30/2021 1:31:00 AM

Thank you very much Jo and I wish you too a very happy and healthy New year. Tom

Eve Roper

Date: 12/29/2021 2:15:00 PM

Beer cans for a peg Leg,,, funny. Less talk more action is the Solution. Happy New Year with many Blessings

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/29/2021 2:18:00 PM

Thank you very much Eve, and I wish you the same. Tom

Demetrios Trifiatis

Date: 12/29/2021 1:12:00 PM

Yes, the most appropriate way to say goodbye to 2021, my dearest friend, Tom! Happy New Year!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/29/2021 2:00:00 PM

Thank you very much Demetrios, I hope 2022 brings us all good health and happiness. Tom

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/29/2021 12:07:00 PM

the punch line of old Pete was great!! Loved the stew limerick!!

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/29/2021 12:43:00 PM

Thank you very much Andrea, im happy that you enjoyed them. Im in limerick mode at the moment lol. Tom

Anil Deo

Date: 12/29/2021 11:08:00 AM

Thanx Tom, very environmentally friendly limericks: from tin can peg leg, to Thunbergs "Greta" campaign. Happy New Year with Jesus' Shalom

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/29/2021 12:42:00 PM

Thank you very much Anil, I'm pleased that you enjoyed them. I hope too you have a blessed and happy new year.. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 12/29/2021 10:07:00 AM

- A sad fate for Old Pete ... guess it rattles when he walks :) - I wish you a wonderful new year, Tom - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Tom Cunningham
Date: 12/29/2021 10:09:00 AM

Thank you very much Anne, sadly this time of year many take a chance and sometimes the consequences are devastating. Wishing you too a happy and healthy New year. Tom