A Few Limericks

DRUNKEN OLD Pete... 

Old Pete went out to celebrate new year
Was over the limit from too much beer
Old drunks they never learn
Cos he took a wrong turn
And drove down harbour hill right off the pier. 

He was floundering and kicking his feet 
And didn't see the glow of a sharks teeth 
From Pete's leg took a bite 
To quench his appetite 
And poor Pete's face turned as white as a sheet... 

A passer by heard a scream and a shout 
Threw a rope and managed to get him out
Said "you're lucky to survive 
But you shouldn't drink and drive 
At least in your one foot you won't get gout"... 

He lost his job and he now has to beg 
So to hospital he went for a new leg
They had no legs in stock
And old Pete had a shock 
When they fused beer cans to make him a Peg...

EXPLORER STEW ... 

Two explorers Barthomolew and Drew
Came across natives practicing vodoo 
They ran but were too late
And awaited their fate 
A native shouted "we got us some stew"...

GRETA... 

Greta wanted to stop world pollution 
And warned that there will be retribution
Said " I'll name and shame
Those who are to blame 
And action, less talk is the solution" ...


Written 28th December 2021.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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12
Kingston Avatar
June 17, 2025 at 10:45 PM
What a delightfully fun poem. It would make a great song, Drunkin Old Pete. I just finished a poem about a little tipsy leprechaun too. Who was to blame? The drink, Old Pete or the shark? Everyone would know Pete was coming, clang, clang, small bang, bang with the beer can leg! This was funny and made me smile
Cunningham Avatar
June 18, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Thank you very much Marikate, I'm happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope your week is going well. Tom
James Avatar
June 2, 2022 at 1:54 PM
Thoroughly enjoyed Tom. Loved the reclycling of the beer cans lol. Emilia : )
Cunningham Avatar
June 2, 2022 at 2:11 PM
Thank you very much Emilia, hope things are going well for you. Tom
Goldsmith Avatar
May 8, 2022 at 8:37 PM
Creative/fun writes. They made my day. Have a great/blessed day...........
Cunningham Avatar
May 9, 2022 at 12:08 AM
Thank you very much Paula, you can never have enough humour Glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Mcguire Avatar
January 5, 2022 at 5:51 PM
Love LOVE! " Explorer Stew" Well done Tom
Cunningham Avatar
January 6, 2022 at 3:54 AM
Thank you very much Timothy, glad you enjoyed them. Tom
Messina Avatar
January 3, 2022 at 11:02 AM
Thanks for always putting a smile on my face, Tom. Your limericks never fail. Love these! Happy New Year and many more! Charlie
Cunningham Avatar
January 3, 2022 at 11:03 AM
Thank you very much Charlie, and I hope your new year is off to a flying start. Tom
M  Avatar
January 3, 2022 at 12:42 AM
Ha love the new photo Tom….looks like you’ve been hanging out with the best “Cowdy” in the business!!! Hehe….Happy Trails Tom…. Cheers Debx
M  Avatar
January 3, 2022 at 3:21 AM
Tom when I saw that photo it made me smile….you and John Wayne Mr Cowdy himself! Love seeing your new photos never know what’s next !! Keep changing them ….cheers Debx
Cunningham Avatar
January 3, 2022 at 12:49 AM
Thank you very much Deb, as you've probably guessed I'm a big western fan. Hope your new year is off to a good start.
Mcguire Avatar
January 2, 2022 at 6:24 PM
I have always loved your limericks! Well done and congratulations on you selection into the poetry anthology. :)
Cunningham Avatar
January 3, 2022 at 12:12 AM
Thank you very much Timothy I hope you are keeping well. I just looked at the list, a great honour, congratulations to you too.. Happy New year. Tom
Ball Avatar
January 2, 2022 at 4:25 PM
Great job Tom. Loved each one. God Bless and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours. JB
Cunningham Avatar
January 3, 2022 at 12:11 AM
Thank you very much Judy, glad you enjoyed them. Hope your new year is off to a good start. Tom
Canerdy Avatar
January 2, 2022 at 6:34 AM
Good limericks, Tom. An artificial leg made of beer cans--how innovative! LOL! Janice
Cunningham Avatar
January 2, 2022 at 9:12 AM
Thank you very much Janice, I'm glad that you enjoyed them. Tom
Dietrich Avatar
January 1, 2022 at 11:20 AM
Back to say Happy New Year, Tom!! Hope to see you on some new winner lists when I get time to visit any of them!
Cunningham Avatar
January 1, 2022 at 11:40 AM
Thank you very much Andrea, and I wish you the same with good health and happiness in 2022. Still partying for another couple of days then normality lol. Tom
Shaw Avatar
January 1, 2022 at 4:53 AM
You are the best limerick writer Tom, and how they flow, poor old Pete, and even no laugh a minute Greta gets a plug too, love it, Happy New Year to you and yours . . . : )
Cunningham Avatar
January 1, 2022 at 11:29 AM
Thank you very much Indiana, im happy that you enjoyed them, wishing you too a very happy and healthy New year. Hope you're keeping well. Tom
Ray Choudhury Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 5:25 PM
Dear Tom, really enjoyed your humorous limericks - you are definitely a master! Wish you a very Happy New Year! All the best ~ Mala
Cunningham Avatar
January 1, 2022 at 1:29 AM
Thank you very much Mala, I wish you a happy and healthy New year. Tom
Balasubramanian Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 10:58 AM
Wishing you a blissful year ahead friend
Cunningham Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 11:52 AM
Thank you very much Rama, and I wish you the same. Tom
Skelly Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 9:18 AM
Tom..Best wishes and blessings for 2022.
Cunningham Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 9:30 AM
Thank you very much for your return visit and good wishes Delice. Stay safe and best wishes to you. Tom
Sands Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 7:10 AM
Creative and funny. Well written Tom. Thanks for sharing Happy New Year ! :)
Cunningham Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 9:29 AM
Thank you very much Heidi, im happy you enjoyed them. Wishing you good health and happiness in 2022. Tom
Callus Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 5:29 AM
Thank you for the laugh/s Tom :) :) and for delivering a valid message in good fun. Happy New Year, my friend // paul
Cunningham Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 9:28 AM
Thank you very much Paul, im glad you enjoyed them. Hope 2022 is a happy and healthy one for you. Tom
Krutsinger Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 5:27 AM
This is hilarious "He lost his job and he now has to beg So to hospital he went for a new leg They had no legs in stock And old Pete had a shock When they fused beer cans to make him a Peg..." Unless you have lost a leg, then maybe not so much. Happy New Year Tom!
Cunningham Avatar
December 31, 2021 at 9:28 AM
Thank you very much Caren, im happy you enjoyed the humour. Hope you have a happy and healthy New year. Tom
M  Avatar
December 30, 2021 at 5:48 AM
Very funny and clever Sir Tom Cunningham( that sounds good!!)….really enjoyed . Cheers Debx
Cunningham Avatar
December 30, 2021 at 7:31 AM
Thank you very much Deb, im happy that you enjoyed the humour, the last one was a bit of a tribute, if anyone can save the planet she can. Happy New year. Tom
Daniel Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 10:55 PM
Loved these limericks, Tom, Pete's fate sure had me laughing:) wishing you and your family a very blessed, Happy and a Prosperous New year:)
Cunningham Avatar
December 30, 2021 at 1:31 AM
Thank you very much Jo and I wish you too a very happy and healthy New year. Tom
Roper Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 2:15 PM
Beer cans for a peg Leg,,, funny. Less talk more action is the Solution. Happy New Year with many Blessings
Cunningham Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 2:18 PM
Thank you very much Eve, and I wish you the same. Tom
Trifiatis Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 1:12 PM
Yes, the most appropriate way to say goodbye to 2021, my dearest friend, Tom! Happy New Year!
Cunningham Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 2:00 PM
Thank you very much Demetrios, I hope 2022 brings us all good health and happiness. Tom
Dietrich Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 12:07 PM
the punch line of old Pete was great!! Loved the stew limerick!!
Cunningham Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 12:43 PM
Thank you very much Andrea, im happy that you enjoyed them. Im in limerick mode at the moment lol. Tom
Deo Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 11:08 AM
Thanx Tom, very environmentally friendly limericks: from tin can peg leg, to Thunbergs "Greta" campaign. Happy New Year with Jesus' Shalom
Cunningham Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 12:42 PM
Thank you very much Anil, I'm pleased that you enjoyed them. I hope too you have a blessed and happy new year.. Tom
Andresen Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 10:07 AM
- A sad fate for Old Pete ... guess it rattles when he walks :) - I wish you a wonderful new year, Tom - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Cunningham Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 10:09 AM
Thank you very much Anne, sadly this time of year many take a chance and sometimes the consequences are devastating. Wishing you too a happy and healthy New year. Tom
Calasibetta Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 8:03 AM
Enjoyed your Limericks....a bit of humor for the ringing in of our New Year! Blessings, Paulette
Cunningham Avatar
December 29, 2021 at 8:37 AM
Thank you very much Paulette, I'm happy you enjoyed them. Hope you have a happy and healthy New year. Tom
12
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