Long Way of saying Poems
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This is too someone who will never read
This is my way to cope with all the times I've been cheated by him
Putting this out here to cope from the heartache I feel every time you say "Hi"
Once we began speaking the language of love I knew I was going to lose you
The pain is too strong to break things off with you
So here I am spilling my heart out to you
Only to say I'm sorry
The things we've been through come to a stop now
But i'm sorry instead
So here is how much you've hurt me after I told you just about everything
Sadly you don't even know my real name
Superman or just some villain who broke my heart after two love filled years
Good things or bad things
To you nothing mattered
So i'm sorry
I'm sorry I was never the girl you were going to want
I guess the only reason you held my heart for so long was I just needed to feel wanted.
I'm sorry that I knew you were cheating
I'm sorry I never sent you but one picture you actually liked
I'm sorry I'm not her
I hear myself thinking this over and it seems a bit sappy to write for the country boy I thought was truly mine.
Believe me when I say I loved you when you didn't
Writing about you for the first time in awhile makes me feel quite some way
Honestly you broke me into pieces when I first got that text from your phone saying leave my boyfriend alone.
So i'm sorry I couldn't be the number one girl you wanted to make love with
Sorry for not telling you I never wanna speak to you again
I hope we can be nothing
I'm sorry I never sent that picture I promised
But I already knew you were lying to me
Oh, I didn't mention the nude you wanted from me
Sorry I never sent that
Since I knew you were faking about being alone
I'm sorry you're just a cheater
I'm sorry I haven't told you this yet and probably won't ever
So yeah I'm sorry I never told you my real name or even my birthday
I'm sorry for being sorry
I hope you have a sorry life
I'm sorry i'm just being too tired to say it's over
I'm sorry I can't believe you anymore
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I loved you so much
I'm sorry I'm not the one you could be truthful with
This is to the guy I am no longer trusting
This is my way of coping
This is my way of saying sorry
This is something I want to send him but i'm too much of a coward to
When I write, it's as though my thoughts become the words that shift into armor as they ascend from the depths of my mind and safely enclose me. The pen, clenched in my hand acts as my sword. The paper, my shield. Through written words I can affirm, assert, even dominate. Through written words, I can express everything I am afraid to say out loud.
Spoken words bring with them vulnerability. I have not my sword or shield to defend or hide behind. Standing face to face with him I bite my lip and look to the ground with a nervous giggle. "What's on your mind?" he asks. Oh how I wish I could tell him. I shake my head and lean into his sturdy chest as he wraps his arms securely around me. My voice box declines a response yet my brain has already begun composing the next great symphonic masterpiece.
The way that piece of hair flops over your forehead in the morning, is on my mind. That little divot you get between your eyebrows when you begrudgingly realize it's time to get up. The grogginess in your eyes that search for me next to you in the morning. The deep breath you take before rolling over to kiss me, and the raspiness when you say, "good morning beautiful".
I look into your piercing grey eyes and I am lost. Lost in a day dream of waking every day to those same eyes for the rest of my life. For seeing my future, our futures together. Starting our days like this every day. Preparing your black coffee and breakfast for you as you shower. Looking on in disgust as you ruin my perfectly good eggs with your addition of ketchup and hot sauce.
Moving to the bathroom we both get ready for our days. Your compulsion to hold a conversation with me while you brush your teeth makes me laugh as I try to understand your peppermint mumble. I watch as you force in your contacts even though you prefer to just wear your glasses. I take a moment to admire the sight of you.
On your way out the door, you tell me you love me. I hesitate. There it is. That fear of vulnerability. For when I say it back the power is yours to either make me so immensely happy, or to absolutely crush me. So I smile and tell you to have a great day. To let me know when you get to work safely. It's my own coded way of saying I love you in response.
Mixed with light, His grace sighs – a soft light, painting the mornings in new, the nights in a gentle hue, the moments in heavenly truths… by poet
In the cool of the morning,
While the heart feels new, softer
Than the seas who breath tears,
Whispering peace through the verses,
Poetry convinced that God’s hand,
Sturdy like the grace, prayed,
By those who hear Him in the day…
And, feel the silent flow of His spirit,
Dancing through the leaves,
Harmonizing with the wind and sea,
Assuring the believer, his faith
Is more powerful than any hope,
More beautiful than any tree,
More alive than the winds who breath…
In the clearest skies, the stars mingle,
With a clever host, pouring out joy,
Through the seas who tremble,
Yesterday’s music emptied into the heart,
Abiding on the inside of the one who knows
He is light and love – He is the music,
The mystery and the rhythm of a reality….
And, like the night who shivers with sweet kisses,
His love rises higher than the moon, revealing,
All the wonder, the melodies rich and influential,
Erasing the darkness with the sounds of light,
Flowing beyond the rains, the rivers, the rising
Of a heart who can see Him in the forest’s gentle,
Coloring the soul with songs of contentment,
Risking it all to show the love that He intended,
When He gave us these hearts who can feel…
Sentimental, like yesterday is beyond our memories,
Feeding on tears, fears and years,
With only the truth to feed the rain drenched
Flow of liquid faith, the faith who can see,
Beyond the doubts to the victories,
Through the dark that intercedes for a mercy
That is full of praise for the love who stays,
The love who has a way of saying…
God is in control and God always knows,
Whatever may come, through every right, every wrong,
There is the promise of a love that decides…
Wherever He is, there is the light – there is life.
Wherever He is, there is the wonder so bright,
The love that erases every fear, every fight, every feeling
That doesn’t believe Him – and the love that is so alive…
Yes, His love is so ALIVE!!!
My soul can see Him – my spirit believes Him!
I truly believe HIM!
Songbird, play me a tune.
What would you like to hear?
Tell me how you grace a worm.
Well, seeing as you have no fun,
in that which you do not run from;
afraid to leave a job undone,
leaving without supervision:
You're melancholy, so to speak:
from your head, down to your feet.
When innocence is bold to me,
I comply egregiously.
My name is not nefarious,
nor spiteful, proud, or pixidust.
Your type is rare, so be aware
of beauty here, for you to bear.
You think in perfect harmony,
as product of adversity.
You know no grief or floating leaf.
You know no animosity.
Your not as beautiful as me-
you walking, talking, dictionary.
Here's some truth you do not need.
But maybe you can now believe;
in colors glorious of gold,
avenues to now be told.
There's treasured life found from above, which witnessed god in you as love.
Those floating wings of servitude,
Are angels watching over you.
There's no preclude in what to do.
Just know the sky is always blue.
As for the worms, we start by prying
there to greet us when arriving.
Just to be clear, we dont mind minding,
finding there what God has hiding.
Nature really does describe,
as giving way to nice surprise.
We do not try to compromise
in things that lend out in disguise.
We're animals of God's green Earth,
since introduction. Hence pure birth.
Were pretty different, you and I.
This? Our way of saying hi.
You wondered what I'd have to say,
believing in simplicity
And things unlike what you hold dear,
Are nature's bliss from far and near.
Just like the trees survive in breeze:
Our nature is but what you see.
A part of life, when thunder sounds:
showing us a place to ground,
Among our trees, we plot with ease.
In green like all things,
as we've seen.
And godli creatures, in their strife,
demonstrate this sacred ease.
They're indisputable in life,
from which they never will concede.
So who am I to disagree,
with everlasting things i see.
I love them as i'll always be,
in between amounts of green.
Your answer does come naturally-
Perception of our tendency;
To just agree and aim to please,
for that which comes so naturally!
Form:
Although the name, Tat Tvam Asi, was new to me, the thought and meaning were not unfamiliar.
If I say that I am closed minded, would you judge me and set me apart as one incarcerated?
If I say that I am open minded, would you welcome me, embrace me, accept me as yourself?
If I say that I am both closed and open minded, would you deem me schizophrenic or delusional?
Such were questions posed to one I met on a commuter train who challenged me to a "Rethink".* He was well versed in his belief, calm, poised, relaxed, and offering me a key to meet the real me. He even challenged my life-long belief that mankind needs a restoration because of a separation. He insisted that I reject the need for restoration because there never was a separation from God. We had a long commute of at least an hour, and as I deboarded the train, I was more convinced. More convinced and confident that I was on the right train and the right track at the right time. The right time because I needed someone like the eye-opening gentleman to challenge my faith.
I am reminded of one occasion or encounter I had with people of a much different faith than my own**. At the conclusion of a failed conversion attempt with me, I complemented the gentleman's taste in his attire as a way of saying, "No to your religion, but yes to your dress code".
He seemed startled by my kindness.
With regards to the commute train gentleman, I, with a sense of gratitude, was able to determine with a sense of certainty that I was opened-minded enough to graciously respect and listen to him; and at same time, I was closed-minded enough to say graciously, "Thank you sir, but no thank you".
072521PSCtest, 'Tat Tvam Asi' Contest, Unseeking Seeker *Fictitious story **True story
Being Aussie and a nomad with a wish to travel far,
there comes a time when money’s scarce no matter who you are.
I was in the north of England when the bank declared I’m broke,
so I went to seek employment from someone who needs a bloke.
It was a hospital in Liverpool that needs a cleaner in the wards.
In there I met some nurses and we struck quite similar chords,
for they were Aussies just like me with an accent just like mine,
so it felt good to be in company with those still speaking strine.
Because the language of the locals sort of takes some time to learn,
and there are words still spoken that for us still twist and turn,
so they must be spoken slower for their message to come through,
and we all got into trouble when the scouse accent was true.
It was not because our work is poor, for we had pulled our weight,
and punctuality was not bought up because we’re never late.
Our manners were impeccable but we were deemed as rude.
They said that we took liberty with a patient’s unique food.
But we were only saving money for our travelling overseas,
and had gathered in the kitchen where we’d eat the awful teas
that are provided for the patients, and of course us staff as well,
though, some days a visitor would save us eating food from hell.
It was their way of saying thanks for the caring that was done,
for they saw me help the nurses when their need was on to run,
and their loved ones had told them of the grub we’re forced to eat,
so through the ill once getting well, we would get a special treat.
But oh the gremlins got us in the kitchen there one night,
when a lady fronted us with, what I’d say a lovely sight.
She held a pork pie in her hands - the favoured food I love,
and with a smile she said to me “Would you ‘eat this pie up ‘Guv’!”
I placed it in the oven and arranged three plates as well.
We didn’t waste one single crumb while taking in the wondrous smell.
Then our benefactor walked back in; her scouse was very clear …
when she looked in the oven - “Is me ‘usbands pie ‘ot yet m’dear?”
Remember me well as I give thanks to each mother.
You women of this world …are simply like no other!
Right from conception to those dreaded contractions.
The thought of our well-being dictated your actions.
You labour at birth for a labour of love,
The pain is immense as you push and you shove.
Through age of ‘innocence’, puberty and adolescence.
With loving and patience, gave succour and guidance.
The angst that we brought was not what you sought
But you gave that no thought in a ‘battle’ well-fought.
From stroppy-boy teen, to the big ‘drama queen’.
Gave a shoulder to lean, as you dealt with the scene.
Get lumbered with nan, as you coped with the clan.
Laid out the best plan, as you do all you can.
Most men would implore, “I beg you, no more!!!”
So applaud you for sure; “Encore, plus encore”
How do I thank you? I can't match this feat!
To even things up: How do I compete?
This gender inequity has no parity; For when is your task ever complete?
The cry for equality is absurdity. Your strength alone makes it obsolete.
….please allow me to….
Offer up my seat - while you rest your feet.
Hold open that door - you replenish your store.
Keep watch as you sleep - and so earn my keep.
Protect you from harm - by wiles or by charm.
When I put you 'first’, I’m just trying my best.
When I buy treats and snacks, it’s my way of saying ‘thanks’.
When I pay for a meal, it's still no big deal.
When I show you respect - it's the least you'd expect.
So many tributes have been written, but with your tenacity, I am smitten.
So be it mother or mama - or mummy or mater ...it matters not one iota...
The world's most arduous occupation ....with little or no reparation.
Retirement is never an option; but the 'bond of love' ...always the best 'pension'.
......so, finally I say this, dearest mother:
'You are a Princess, from the Heavens, borrowed.
Never shall you be, by this Earth, sorrowed'.
Robert A Amure (June 2012)
Love
I wish I could tell how I feel
but I'm better with actions more than words
yet today I am just too far out of reach
I should apologize but you already know I'm sorry
so this is no time for sorrys
but still I'm sorry
I'm a little excited and I have no idea what to say
I could start with a cliche
like I am Earth and you are the Sun
and I just can't help but orbit around you
I'm not an artist, but I'm just drawn to you
Cheesy and a terrible pick up line
but hey can you blame me
you make my brain lose thought
and my heart skip a beat
Love, you are my everything
And I wish I could give you my eyes
let you see yourself through my eyes
for you to see how special you are to me
for you to see the beauty in you I see
Unlike these carbon clay cut outs
you are beautiful from the inside out
I act so sheepishly when I see you from afar
I know you can tell
for I know you see me
duck behind a tree
just so we can play a brief game of hide and seek
my own symbolic way of saying you found me
you found me from the darkest place I was trapped in
I can't thank you enough
I've never been so happy
just staring within your smile
just staring within your gateway to your soul
your very warm soul
Love, you are my everything
If I could spend forever
right here under the clouds
right here under the stars
on a checkered picnic blanket
with your hand in mine
your head resting on my shoulders
I will be the luckiest duck in the world
no matter how much I say I'm nothing
no matter how much I say I'm just another ugly duckling
Love, you are everything to me
Love, you give me all the confidence in the world
to be more than what I am
Love, you are everything
Love, I know you are asleep
but I hope my message won't disturb you
for you are my Sleeping Beauty
and I your noble prince
please dream softly until you awake
with butterfly eyes
to my gentle kiss, to my gentle words
Love, I love you
Love
Love
Love, will you marry me
JudeoChristian monotheists,
from fundamental conservationists
on back to radical creolizing multiculturists
inspiring nature-spirit co-revolutions,
declare YHWH to be unchanging,
in constant loving relationship with planet Earth
and all EarthTribes
And therefore constant integrity,
synergy,
creativity,
regenerativity,
macaronically iconized as creolizing fertility.
Mystics and prophets,
seers and heretics,
science-fiction and deep ecology writers,
teach a more complex view.
God as constantly unchanging Change,
both restoratively therapeutic
and retributively traumatic Processor,
co-arising regenerative flows of Win-Win nutritional history
with degeneratively evaporating energy.
Mahatma Gandhi
and many others after,
and probably before, him
taught and mentored
Become the Change today
you long for Earth's Change tomorrow.
So,
putting all this theology and ethology together,
if God is constant ClimateChange
and Gandhian mentors are wise
to advocate our becoming Beloved Change today,
right and left within this timeless NOW,
then this would be another way of saying
and doing
We could all cooperate better
as polypathic, yet with merely mortal EgoMemories,
descendents of Elder gods and goddesses
polyculturally co-creating restorations
healing Earth's sacred growing ClimateChange,
CoMessiahs
who are also,
in this limited atmanic
EarthBound
ecoHeaven-At-Hand sense,
Bodhisattvas restoring
Ego/EcoJustice CoMentorships,
within as without,
as below, so above
Karma-yogis
practicing
humility of EarthLove--yagna multicultural embracing praxis,
compassion of positive faiths, truths, trusts--tapas co-empathic disciplines,
generosity of cooperative hope--dana GoldenRule social pragmatism.
And of these three,
the greatest diastatic culmination
is Love.
Which some may see as Golden Matriotic EarthDay dreams
and ultra-violet
by dualdark competing nightmare-powers
of constant ClimateChange.
OK folks, there is something I need to share with all of you about yours truly, understand I have no problem with not sharing this in the past with anybody,
because I felt then and still do that I wasn't hiding anything from anybody.
ANONS hack into my Facebook page constantly.
This is their post, not mine, TheKidster, Billy.
Yes, I did write that write and this photo was created by me.
Along with writing I consider myself kinda, photo artsy crafty.
I shared this photo with ANONYMOUS with the hope that it might be,
a positive endorsement for all of these
very great people I would die for unhesitatingly,
at least the ones I've been fortunate to "meet."
I have never met any of them, be they he or she,
they or sometimes individually,
drop by now and then by hacking into my account just to say Hi to me.
These people do have the ability
to hack into all my friends lives and wipe you out completely,
but that isn't them, that's the way Big Brother wants them to be seen,
so I shared this with ANONYMOUS, not so anonymously,
To Show My Support For All Of Them,
for all their brave and great work we all so desperately need.
What is written on the bottom of the photo wasn't written by me.
ANONYMOUS wrote that and that is their way of saying to me,
"We appreciate your support, You Now Have An Ally, We Support You Too,
And No Government Agency Better Ever Screw With You,
Because Along With Our Government, We Will Be Watching You Too,
We Will Destroy The Lives Of Any And Every Individual Government Agent,
Who Dares To Screw With You.
This news is the most unusual, joyous feeling.
How can I ever possibly thank these great people I will never meet.
As you have now declared to me, I again declare to all of you:
ANONYMOUS, I Support Every Single Great One Of You,
oh, and I almost forgot, I Sincerely Thank All Of You Too.
Thank You ANONYMOUS
https://www.facebook.com/billy.thekidster/posts/1390479027703296