Long Swaggered Poems
Long Swaggered Poems. Below are the most popular long Swaggered by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Swaggered poems by poem length and keyword.
For example a Dachshund dog was thrown 5 floors to his death
The owner photographed this and posted it online
His dog looked like he was sleeping but was dead
I tracked the Dachshund Dog’s Killer down and killed him
I put him in an 80s violent video game with block graphics
I hit him with a stabbing dagger in both shoulders
Then machete chopped half of his pinto skull off
Finally finishing him off with a flick knife in the gut
Next there was the case of the animal rescue centre
9 pussycats were murdered for no real reason
Except they were living in the centre
I drove up to the animal sanctuary in a Technical
I beeped and they opened the gates and I saw him
The Pussycat Murderer who swaggered about like a real man
I aimed my remote control 50 Cal gun with my PS2 controller
And popped the motherer with a hundred 50 Cal Raufoss rounds
A woman cut the foot off her dog with a machete
Because the dog annoyed his owner
All this was filmed and posted online
I found the Limping Woman who made her dog painfully limp
I said Hi and smirked then tightly tied her up
And had my way with her 25 times in a calendar day
Her pussy was sore and needed stitching due to the table leg
As did her feet when I sliced off all her damn toes
Most bizarre of all was the small dog
Who was partly skinned alive by his owner
This dog was rescued and given treatment
Dog Skinner was a hard man to find but not hard in a fight
I threw him a knife and said, ‘Skin me or be maimed...’
His lunges were slow and unskilled and embarrassing
I blocked them with one hand and closed my eyes
I snapped his spine with one single side kick
And a man drove his car and threw out his dog
Like a bit of trash with duct taped up feet and muzzle
The cops rescued the dog and jailed the man
I impersonated a Police Officer and ‘apprehended’ the suspect
Who had just been released from jail for leaving his pet dog for dead
He let me into his house and I Tasered the bastard and duct taped him up
I dragged Dog Duct Tape Man to my fake squad car and put him in the trunk
I drove him to a secluded spot and did a very enjoyable EJK
I enjoyed each and every act of Pet’s Revenge and Murder
This is my new job and I always enjoy it and get away with it
I have backing from Big Brother and the Illuminated People
Out of the blue I searched for you,
Under yellow skies I walked,
With scarlet red the things you knew!
The black lace talked and talked
I found you thumbing on the road,
Drifting south for a change of pace,
Your suitcase was hardly a load,
My heart began to race.
A game was lurking in your eyes,
I wanted in to play your sin.
Fortune’s wheel did not disguise
The roguish plans you held within.
You took the keys and off you went,
With gaping mouth I stood
My heart inflamed with discontent,
I whimpered all I could.
With bold resolve my feet did go,
Dust and sweat led the way.
What did tempt I did not know,
But hidden fires held my sway.
Marching like a highway man,
Of dreams untold to think about,
I tried to chart your steps and plan,
Whose saucy tease I had no doubt.
Feline ways invite soft prints,
Invisible shades eyes large make,
I saw the method in your hints,
By subtle fumes my nose did stake.
I tracked and looked and never quit,
To find your world and magic curve,
But at some point I had to admit,
I wondered if I had the nerve.
I hung my head, I sang low tunes
Echo’s hope was just a trace,
So I took to heed the passing moons
Oh your purring heart did I chase.
As though you saw my forlorn look,
My ears you tapped with engine fire,
Behind me came your line and hook,
Smiling in my car you took.
Get in you said with lips to bend,
With a grin that spoke of lazy miles,
To you my vows could but commend,
So sure were your entrancing styles.
I swaggered in next to fate,
Forever gone, here was now,
Praying for mercy on this date,
Still like a mouse hearing meow.
You throttled up and off we flew,
The wind and hair was just a blair,
If my better half only knew,
The forbidden things I would dare.
The ride was smooth and oh so cool,
Skin touched skin and all was one,
Kissed by heaven’s secret rule,
Ay there’s the rub, just have some fun.
Salvation’s road leads to crime,
Heat and sweat are natures beat,
Lemons aid the bitter lime,
To overcome what might defeat.
Out of the blue I searched for you,
Under yellow skies I walked,
With scarlet red the things you knew!
The black lace talked and talked.
I loved you John Wayne!
I wished you were my father
or maybe an older brother
who’d tutor me to be tough
when manners weren’t enough
and toughness was needed
that civility be heeded
and not to brag or complain.
O I loved you John Wayne!
As soon as I was old enough
to earn the price of admission
I saw your films in succession
at the first run houses down
in the big deal part of town
and enshrined each one on a list
taped to my bedside wall
and read about the ones I’d missed.
Shucks, I loved you most of all!
Fort Apache and Red River
took pride of place on the page;
they’d eaten up my weekly wage.
I missed the Yellow Ribbon;
I hoped I’d be forgiven.
At the Rio and the Broad
(in a dicey neighborhood)
I atoned with films you’d done
before I was even born.
Western after Western
and tales of oil and whiskey
and scheming ladies, O so risky!
I hoped I’d be excused
when I compromised my muse
by adding well-built gals
to Duke and all his pals.
Montez, Russell, and Lake
made my hormones quake.
O I loved you, John Wayne.
I could feel your bashful pain
When the pretty lady roped you
and hat in hand you’d bow,
the furrow deepening on your brow,
and utter monosyllables plus “Ma’am,”
no longer a ram, more like a lamb.
O I shared you pain, John Wayne!
And still I loved you John Wayne,
your true grit and donnybrook,
your menacing brow, the look
that said, “Enough, my friend.
“This bull is going to end!”
You swaggered? (not quite it--
as if your boots didn’t quite fit?)
You took him by the horns and shook;
Plomp! Down went the snook!
How I loved you, John Wayne!
And I love you still when again I see
the doughty Duke on my smart TV
as much as Papa’s lone old man,
with fish chewed down to the bone
loved Joltin’ Joe Dimaggio
when the Clipper’s legs began to go
and he was hobbled by his heel.
John Wayne, you were the real deal.
I took my mum to slimming world
On every Tuesday night
She’d get her finest glad rags on
And beam with sheer delight
Not much of an adventure,
On the way she’d barely speak.
But she’d set her sights on glory
As the slimmer of the week.
With eager expectation
We queued up by the scales
Catching surreptitious glances
“Has she come off the rails ? “
“Shoes off please and on the scales”
Then handing in your book,
You felt your pulse start racing
When you dared to take a look
“Just a half pound gain this week”
“But don’t get too despondent “
The lady scribbled in mum’s book,
Like a weight gain correspondent.
“Have you checked the scales” said Mum
“They simply can’t be right ?”
“I think they need to be reset
Because I didn’t weigh that last night ?”
“Are you staying for the chat ?”
Said the slimming world consultant
“We’ve got some bars for you to try”
And mum looked quite exultant
“Would you like a raffle ticket ?”
I can still picture the scene,
When they drew your numbers out
And you won an aubergine.
“So how’s your week been Linda ?
Did you keep track of your syns ? “
“I just had lots of chicken breasts
But I didn’t eat the skins “
“Mark - our slimmer of the week !
Share your story with the group”
“I just ate Quorn and Quark all week
And pints of lentil soup”
Mum kept smiling all the time
While others told their tales of woe,
A Chinese meal that took its toll
Or a Hot Dog at the show
Brenda stormed out of the room
Just looking for attention.
“ I’ve not put on 3 pounds” she screamed
It’s just water retention
“See you all next week” said Sue
The hall’s needed by the Vicar
Mark, smiling smugly, swaggered out
Showing off his latest sticker.
On the way back in the car
Mum was smiling, full of glee
I said “what are you so pleased about? “
She said “ They’re all bigger than me”
Drinks fridge murmurs accusations at me
Seals connect with whoosh of door close
Defuses incriminating strip of lights lairy
Where I go from this station, God knows!
Lady taking my coins sneers, fat old wench
Bottled coffee shaking, I scope the scene
Funny country fuel stop, platform with bench
Five feet above bowsers, no other beings
Infusing creamy caffeine flows frozen veins
Squinting, suddenly morning haze is scared
Flung away by fireball promising burn's pain
Screech of rest room door makes me aware
Swaggered jean jostling cowboy, crotch itch
Rips sunstruck silver jangle of keys unfurled
His calloused hands fondle freedom tickets
Flanellette shirt, dog fur dull unkempt curls
Moment slipping, I extend my leg, stretched
Sandshoe foot dangled bare ankled amber
His attentive sway, reaction I needed to get
Casual smile exchange shows easy candour
Disappeared Adam's apple displays his nerves
Flipped flaxen cascades accompany my laughs
I appear the type of slender he doesn't deserve
Ask mystery man where his bloody car's parked
Bow legged, he saunteringly walks me across
Feet scuff on rough bitumen arrest birds
Chrome, maroon forty year old ute's new gloss
Brings his chest thrust pride, without words
Thick doors reassuringly clunk open, vynyl
Glides my compact package, legs swung in
Sun warmed cabin smells of 70's revival
Decomposing foam, dashboard shrinking
Glances to get my approval of rev shudder
I grin, grab the arm rest in readiness
Rear wheels kick dust, bold engine thunders
Gravel edges send intended impediment
Thrumming along open road, windows down
Throw my medusas in mad frenzy, big relief
Inserts itself, I need to get out of this town
Need him to take me there, encounter brief
10th September 2020
The Corrupt Cop
By Elton Camp
The cop was parked in bushes, well out of sight
When he saw a new Lexus, it gave him delight
The out-of-state tag was what he wanted to see
Because really easy picking this one should be
He dashed down the road with siren and lights
The cop had no concern for the citizen’s rights
And no reasoning did the cop intend to take
As for proof he had a radar gun that was fake
And just as he had done countless times before,
He swaggered to the victim’s passenger door
“I see that you have no respect for the law at all.
For this violation an expensive ticket does call.”
Rich folks like you speed like a bat out of hell
And for public safety that isn’t going too well
You think this is nothing but a tiny, hick town
And you can do anything if you come around
The motorist said that he hadn’t done a thing
But only a smirking laugh did the denial bring
“To talk your way out of this, no need to try.
I’ve got the proof and the radar gun don’t lie.”
The driver didn’t argue but thought “Damnation”
As he realized that a speed trap was in operation
“All right then, please tell me where to go to pay
It’s getting late and I really need to be on my way.”
“Friend, that office is now closed for the night,
If you’re in a rush, that’ll put you into a tight.
Because since you can’t pay the fine today,
It’s in our comfortable jail you will have to stay.”
At those words, the motorist’s face turned pale
He was frightened of the cop and of his jail
“You’re passing through so I’ll accommodate.
Pay me now in cash and then you won’t be late.”
Gathering in the restaurant and the essence so bliss
A table of privacy is something we can all miss
Only table left was a table to fit four
Being alone at meal times was something today no more
Dr Mehta sat next to me as I admired his style
Carol Brown then entered with her big beautiful, red happy smile
Five minutes later Robert Haigh confidently swaggered in to appear
Complete strangers in company is something we all can fear
Never judge a situation as plans never actually work
Table of four; Dr Mehta, Carol Brown, Robert Haigh and me, Claire Burke
Carol and Robert had a laugh but competively did disagree
Dr Mehta had the pure delight of a chair seated next to me
Changeling of glasses and we managed to get Robert very drunk
Dr Mehta told us about his idea to convert perhaps as a monk
Carol wanted to get Dr Mehta to drink a little brandy
When Carol started dancing she made the waiters bothered and randy
Dr Mehta would not drink so Robert drank for two
Soon ended up passed out as we gave him more than a few
The waiters begged Carol for her phone number and possibilities of a date
Maybe this predicament was intended for her unexpected love fate
Dr Mehta finished his drink and casually carried on home
Carol and I took Robert to his place and left him to be alone
Carol is clever as well as pretty and always seems a person who is right
Marvellous people of company and a very unique memorial night
Claire Burke
Dr Ram Mehta
Carol Brown
Robert Haigh
High Noon Antics
High noon, the time was set upon this arid, sultry day
The guns would set against the other, quick-draw style
In speedy rivalry and bid to have their final say
With keen eyed rapid movement versatile
This Western town could not contain two greats
Fanned were the flames of liquor and land dispute
Thus one would remain, the other to a deathly fate
In quick draw fashion and concluding shoot
The saloon doors yield to the spurred and booted big boys
Holstered guns secured against their denim hips
They walk out with swaggered gait and angry poise
Out from the quieted hub bub of secure sealed lip
A spitting sandy cloud cause tumbleweeds to roll
Across the vacant lot betwixt a row of phantom, cardboard houses
Where twitchy curtains hang, but of people, not a soul
They count the paces for the big encounter
Ten honest steps with one determined turn
And steel eyed stares that cross the shaky divide
With hands that hover o’er the fire arm unconcerned
Now sudden moves determine who might live
Discharged the flash of solar weaponry betwixt the gap
A groan from somewhere denotes a direct hit
On crumpled knees the gun relinquishes its grasp
Now prone upon the dusty earth, a final moan emitted
He took the bullet between the eyes by one more precise
The other just grazed upon the arm, remains unfazed
Blowing smoke from his gun, he revels in the others demise
Only room for one here, he removes his gaze
The steely-eyed hombre stepped down from the stage that sultry afternoon.
He looked about with disdain, then swaggered to the Cripple Creek Saloon.
His hat lay low upon his brow and swung low was a pair of 44's on his hips.
He sported fancy duds and greeted a few loafers with a snarl on his lips.
Jeremiah Slade was the feller's name and gamblin' was his trade.
He sauntered up to the bar and stunned the bartend by orderin' a lemonade!
Then he strolled to a table in the back of the room with his back to the wall.
(This was his usual modus operandi just in case there was a free-fer-all!)
He announced, "Boy's, my name's Jeremiah Slade and gamblin' is my game;
Join me and ante up fer a round of poker, but, boys let's keep it tame!"
Three chumps took the bait and scurried fer Jeremiah's table to grab a chair!
He let the dudes win a game or so to assure that things were fair and square.
Now, unknown to the three suckers, Slade was a professional gyp!
The scoundrel was invited to leave umpteen towns west of the Mississip!
Slade had a few tricks up a sleeve that he soon entered into play.
Mysteriously, numerous aces appeared in his draws and were on display!
The trio got wise to his game and jammed three rods in Jeremiah's face!
He was quickly consigned to eternity fer playin' too many an ace!
Jeremiah was conveyed out of town, that no-good cunnin' knave,
And now lies at the foot of Mount Pisgah a-molderin' in his grave!
Bronwyn the Barbaric amassed admirers
like oceans collect river-flow
Streams of suitors all tried to woo her
each determined to be her “best beau”
But our fair pirate queen was a fickle young lass
whose attention was hard to retain
She'd have no truck whatever with crude fellows crass
insisting they possess “half a brain”
She longed for a man both witty and charming
dressed rakishly jaunty and vogue
With manners debonair and smile disarming
('though a bit of a rascally rogue)
Few chaps could achieve these high standards, indeed
yet, one day she met him- and he did!
He was dashing, all agreed, on his wild stallion steed
a sight to behold- resplendent!
And Bronwyn herself, couldn't help but admire
this arrogant, haughty young blaggard
by the name of Beauregard Brody, Esquire
how he bragged, and blustered, and swaggered!
Sailing into his arms, Bronwyn swooned straight away
and they would've composed quite a pair
if only her dog hadn't got in the way
of their breathless and heated affair
Bronwyn's sidekick was a pup quite precocious
all beautifully soft, plush and furry
but she was surprisingly fierce and ferocious
sending most people off in a hurry
Yes, Hellion was a marvelous part-Husky pooch
with one eye brown, and one blue
who took great offense at each intimate smooch
with each snuggle, her distrust grew