Long Stunk Poems

COME ON SOUPER'S LETS HAVE SOME FUN AND MAKE FOLK SMILE DURING SUCH DIFFICULT TIMES FOR US ALL. THERE ARE LOTS MORE APT NAMES  - PLEASE SOUP MAIL POEMS AND I WILL ADD THEM...

Read More

Someone who knows
Said You were an old ancient Tree,
But at the time, it didn’t really matter, 
Or seem important to me.
I knew You only for a very short time 
and just a little…
You see.
Your transparent...

Read More

Long before you were born, long before your great grandfather was born, in the time when magic was approximately eight times more plentiful than it is today, there lived a family in the remote part...

Read More

Fred’s feeding his neighbour’s pet parrot,
He replaced its water with claret,
Poll dropped off her perch
Now Fred’s in the lurch
and claiming it choked on raw carrot

Big trouble is looming for Fred
As Polly is very much dead
The...

Read More

Yesterday I was in a little funk
because I got peed on by a big skunk
             took a long shower
    ...

Read More

Sung to, You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, (extended version).
KP

You’re a monster, Donny Dump.
Some biiig-time twiiisted clooown.
To no end, I could deride you,
are no depths you didn’t fall to,
no ineptness could elude you,
the bottom-feeders they...

Read More

Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

Read More

Part 1

One summer in our youth group was a boy
I met.  How I would love to understand
if what he’d felt was equal to the joy
that bloomed in me when he caressed my hand.

His elfin...

Read More

A Cracked Case Solved
(A Rocci Raccoon File)

Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall,
But was his fall an accident at all?

It was said in hushed whispers, there was something that stunk,
But that turned out to be Pepe...

Read More

2/23/18


On me you'd tittle tattle
Too often you told me fiddle-faddle
Now you're beginning to unravel
Can't even handle
Your own battle
And are being used an example
For what happens when you pull a scandal


You told me claptrap
It's time I...

Read More

7/9/17

Getting stuck sucks
Call it tough luck
You must be nuts
I don't know you enough
So why would I just
Put very much trust
In someone that already bluffed
Over petty stuff

Mosquitoes and flies starting to buzz
A lot of sweat and...

Read More

I put eyeballs on rivals
as I survive and rise forth
an arrival of an idol
standing Eiffel with force
surprisingly viral 
taking titles and more
in a wave wide and tidal
winning prizes for sure

from miles behind to in front
a...

Read More

Scotty the Skunk was sitting in class,
when his English teacher gave her students,
a poetry task. 
      Write a poem for me, on the subject
of who you would rather be.
 ...

Read More

THE CRYING WILD CREATURES.
Nzongi Mwero.
Oh, we recall the bygone times,
The days of the golden past,
That chirping with our merry mates,
Flying around the parks,
Gone the joys of the nests,
That freedom restrained,
Coming at our will in parks,
But...

Read More

Yesterday I had a beer 
In a place that was near 
Soft light and music filled 
The sight of you left me thrilled 

Your name I did not know 
But oh I loved your body...

Read More

God asked Noah to build an ark
he was happy to oblige
but he wasn't so keen
when he found out 
what had to go inside

Two of every animal
then you must set sail
the animals were fearful
the whale began...

Read More

In the saloon Tom, Jenna and Tania were talking about Christmas week 
They wanted to spread some cheer for the good folks of Soup Creek 
Tom thought  Milton would make a good Santa and...

Read More

The odor I get The more pungent I get,                          ...

Read More

>For twenty-one years I was an Inspector in the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, although it is more easy to say the RSPCA.  A love of animals has never left...

Read More

Been raining all week. This morning started off with a bit of sun and it got me reminiscing. About my youth. About you. Next month marks one year since your passing. We spent the last...

Read More

I

Dave looks at his email.  There he sees 
 An invitation from Clark.
It looks like today, we’ll all have a game,
And, hopefully, this week won’t be the same,
 And to victory he’ll embark.
What a...

Read More

Old Winston’s in the pub again - you can smell him above stale beer.
That bloody old blue singlet ain’t been changed for a year.
His hands ingrained with grease ‘n grime; a week’s stubble on his...

Read More

There was once a popular TV show with an episode that comes to mind.                     ...

Read More

Suicide is a topic way too serious for jokes. 
Too awkward for many funny bone pokes. 
But Patch Addams was played on this tone. 
By a fighter of demons of others and his own. 

So...

Read More

Walton’s Scrapyard

Mr Walton was our local scrap man
He wore a great big hat
His yard was squeezed between 
Two terraced houses
And I was always amazed at that

The yard was full of junk
Rusting scrap
And old tat
Tangled up...

Read More