Long Shoplifter Poems

The problem with trying to prove clairaudience, clairsentince, out-of-body, and Near Death Experiences to a Mudblood is not as simple
as it could have been.
Is it because Para-science is totally unsubstantiated?
Not in MY family.
Scientifically un-sound?
Sure, by...

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ShopLift To A Job

From a bustling town called Bukit Mertajam, a mainland part of Penang Island,
Outbreaks a story that warms the heart, about a man being given a helping hand.

With a headline that boasts of...

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As soon as I stepped through the doors of the mall
I ran into two old friends John and Paul
They were with two girls the first named Karen
And I think the other girl was named Sharon

I...

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(Background:  After I retired from the college some years ago, I decided to take a 
temporary sales job at J.C. Penney in the mens’ wear department.  The pay was 
laughable, but I had...

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I landed in  slammer with Trixie, a red-headed prostitute with hilarious stories.
Pretty soon her friend Lulu was tossed in. They sat in the corner giggling.
I sat on the opposite side of the cell, laughing...

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I can't get security's attention,
He's tackling some shoplifter outside.
I have a customer committing a fraud.
You can tell his brain is fried.

He hands me an eighty dollar item
With some sticker haphazardly placed.
Trying to convince me its...

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hi mom
i came here to let you know
my sister and i have a tough time
she has been passing at school though
has a diploma and is now doing her degree

as for i
i dropped out of college
like...

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The politically correct nonsense of today is so very absurd!
The language of my native land has become so terribly blurred,
By those who devote themselves to concocting such inane idiom.
Such prattle is as puzzling to me...

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Those Awesome Folks on Facebook

By Elton Camp

Many Facebook profiles are only a joke
For nobody seems to be an ordinary bloke

Such fascinating lives all of them live
At least based on the information they give

“It’s a gated...

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Eagle soars, circles in the updraught

keen eyes spot rabbit 

it swoops, dives

run rabbit run

at the last possible moment

it turns uphill

eagle has to turn away

for fear of wing damage

talons missed the target

rabbit gets away

I am with...

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My Uncle Bill thought it would be hilarious and fun.
To warn a fellow merchant of a shoplifter - Miss Gun.
The employees followed her all over the store that day.
They reported that she left quickly, as...

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the number of the bygone era in the history utter failure
 as an old bread from a shoplifter 
that love had as herbs antlers 
and the benefits were buffed around the choir 
appropriate dress
 the...

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