Customers We All Detested

(Background:  After I retired from the college some years ago, I decided to take a 
temporary sales job at J.C. Penney in the mens’ wear department.  The pay was 
laughable, but I had never been employed at anything other than a “professional” 
job.  So I decided it would be an interesting experience to work there for a few 
weeks during the Xmas time when they needed extra help.)

Customers We All Detested

By Elton Camp

Mrs. Moneybags comes in every few days
All us clerks just hate her disgusting ways
Tons of clothes she removes from the rack
And never ever does she put anything back

Her reply when her own daughter had a fit:
“The workers do it.  They don’t mind a bit.”
When the pompous dame finally left the store
It took us an hour and sometimes even more

There was a teenage boy, came in every week
Always it was a cash refund that he did seek
With some pals’ receipt clutched in his grasp
While long-worn clothes and shoes did clasp

We all told him that we didn’t deal in resale,
He always went to the manager with his tale
The boss never backed us protecting the store
Each time he walked out with money as before

Another customer was big, ugly and very fat
Little we sold would possible fit one like that
This shoplifter had a very greedy, sticky hand
And from entering the store had been banned

She came in anyway and nothing we could say
We had to walk along with her in every display
So she wouldn’t steal, we had to directly stare
While the shameless thief retuned an angry glare

And a filthy man who of body odor did reek
Came in, a package of underwear to seek
The next day he asked his money we remit
“I tried these on and they really didn’t fit.”

Perhaps the employees’ biggest peeve
Customers who at closing won’t leave
Flashing lights and announcement on PA,
But still the big jerks will continue to stay

We weren’t allowed our registers to close
Until the store cleared of folks like those
We wondered what they’d have to say
If we went to their work and did that way

I did my agreement to work until New Year
After that, I must quit I had made very clear
My experience with the “real world” was fun
If offered it again, very quickly away I’d run

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011



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Date: 3/7/2011 4:49:00 PM
been doing it for 16 years now, you described it perfectly ( oh and today was seniors day, our absolute favourite day in retail) , I have also penned a couple poems venting on this subject. Love it. You described it perfectly.
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