Customers We All Detested

(Background: After I retired from the college some years ago, I decided to take a temporary sales job at J.C. Penney in the mens’ wear department. The pay was laughable, but I had never been employed at anything other than a “professional” job. So I decided it would be an interesting experience to work there for a few weeks during the Xmas time when they needed extra help.) Customers We All Detested By Elton Camp Mrs. Moneybags comes in every few days All us clerks just hate her disgusting ways Tons of clothes she removes from the rack And never ever does she put anything back Her reply when her own daughter had a fit: “The workers do it. They don’t mind a bit.” When the pompous dame finally left the store It took us an hour and sometimes even more There was a teenage boy, came in every week Always it was a cash refund that he did seek With some pals’ receipt clutched in his grasp While long-worn clothes and shoes did clasp We all told him that we didn’t deal in resale, He always went to the manager with his tale The boss never backed us protecting the store Each time he walked out with money as before Another customer was big, ugly and very fat Little we sold would possible fit one like that This shoplifter had a very greedy, sticky hand And from entering the store had been banned She came in anyway and nothing we could say We had to walk along with her in every display So she wouldn’t steal, we had to directly stare While the shameless thief retuned an angry glare And a filthy man who of body odor did reek Came in, a package of underwear to seek The next day he asked his money we remit “I tried these on and they really didn’t fit.” Perhaps the employees’ biggest peeve Customers who at closing won’t leave Flashing lights and announcement on PA, But still the big jerks will continue to stay We weren’t allowed our registers to close Until the store cleared of folks like those We wondered what they’d have to say If we went to their work and did that way I did my agreement to work until New Year After that, I must quit I had made very clear My experience with the “real world” was fun If offered it again, very quickly away I’d run