Long Saddle sore Poems

Long in the tooth male doth recount, reflect, reimagine...
his woebegone damn dental daze today May 5th, 2021 

No particular rhyme nor reason
garden variety indentured flunky (me)
revisits his salmagundi salad days, 
when oral blight smote 
left...

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Can I go to the bathroom? This place is full of jackasses. This place is full of jackasses jerking each other off. This place is full of ignorant, parochial, zit-sucking jackasses undeserving of their place...

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A nubile young vicar named Jude
Was seen swimming, totally nude
The bishop said WOW
Just look at you now
Your assets - they need to be viewed!

Fiction write!

07-05-17

Invited him home for a drink
A toast as their glasses did...

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Blat , Blat
Sporadic gunfire firing back
Our way of life is under attack
And what I mean by that 
Is protect the Oil Refineries 
Protect Democracy freedom of speech 
Protect the Banks & Institutions 
Call the order...

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so much precious existence 
found me rooted with mouth ajar 
as sigh asper the dentin-cementum 
so mud dear reader (with dem perfect 
enameled pearly whites), aye har bar 
envy for those with a complete set...

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The happily ever after...

He searched the kingdom for a fortnight 'til all saddle sore and weary,
With his eyes bloodshot and bleary,
The prince arrived at the last door.
He found two sisters, far too ugly, and an...

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i took her riding
this time my venue, not hers
she loves horses, i am no equestrian
i am beyond saddle sore now
trail rides where every bird is identified
a short illumination of the species
mine are in this little...

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In a dusty fleabit mining town
The kind you’d see on screen
The stranger rode down Main Street 
Looking evil, looking mean
He packed a pair of six guns 
And a sawn off in his vest
Those folks was...

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My tale about the barnacle I bared upon my bum
has now passed into legend and folk law
The  battle I thought was over and now long done
Just when I thought I could sit down and...

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Hank had cowboyed and rodeoed fer nigh on forty years,
Ridin' in sleet, rain and snow a-herdin' cantankerous steers.
His hide was tough as leather and his legs was slightly bowed,
But brandin' dogies and fixin' fences was...

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The bugler's piercing call sounds "Reveille" at the break of dawn.
Young horse soldiers rise, rub their eyes and stifle a gaping yawn.
The brawny Irish Sergeant bellows, "Up and at 'em lads!
You belong to me and...

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When all the wranglin' chores was done and the sun settled in the west,
The cowboys was lollin' about the campfire savorin' much needed rest.
From early dawn they'd branded dogies and herded cantankerous steers,
Now it was...

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Embryos sing saddle-sore sonatas, beneath 
the despot eaves of chromium skies, reflecting 
black light down upon the harbours where 
ambition claws the air and slowly dies; and 
nighthawks scream a siren song of sadness, for...

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final dismount, final ride
pasture waits for dappled roan
girth mark of the lonely byways
lather from the battles flown
dew eyed weary, spinal backed
stumble step'd and nostril blown...

stirrup brass with bugle hung
faded strap and leather worn
bridle twisted, crackled...

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This is it
I give up
I throw in the towel
I draw the curtains
I pull down the shades
I close the doors shut
Finito
The end;

No more haggling
No more beseeching
No more whining
No more whimpering
I'll call it a day,
Saddle sore
I am...

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The Call of the Highlands

Oh I'd love a day out in the heather,
With a ghillie a gun and a stick,
I'd stalk 'cross the moors, crawl about on all fours
All the way from Fort William to...

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The Cowboy bloke of yesteryear
Would work in mud and dust
He would tackle any hardship
As long as it was just

Out on the range from dawn to dusk
Rarely saddle sore
His butt was tough as leather
From calluses he...

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God blast this prairie dust.
Screw the regulations.
Another forty miles on beans and hay
And I ain’t seen no injuns.
Raw edged and saddle sore
From tracking that heathen, Lo.
Still trusting Custer's luck, 
Hard-ass though he be.
I’m bent on...

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