Long Rhyming slang Poems
Long Rhyming slang Poems. Below are the most popular long Rhyming slang by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Rhyming slang poems by poem length and keyword.
The fragrance of possums is a kit of great virtue bathed and lit by an orange green hue. Display not weapons in weather fuelled skies. Thin thunder is unwelcome in a booming bass rhythm and rhyming slang is only to be used by mice and squirrels on rainy days. So, raise ones tail then and fly to many moons. Always use an angle of sixty-two degrees as cloud beams cause much turbulence to the greatest of wing span. So cease to arrive in long lost kitchens and bathrooms of yesteryear. Instead write in the airwaves a plan to bring justice. Place brassieres' on elephants and negligées in tigers and never fail to sustain the breath of farmlands fir they are breeding grounds for mud. Always be wise to the facts of bridges. Bridges are very intelligent and intelligences can often be said to be artificial sliding doors in a wilderness. Remaining open to eyes in a room and round and round is nice and pleasant. Placing ones aromatic and often erotically placed inner beast if peace to extract a great truth in a light beam. Gradually add ingredients over many many years then serve as soup. Tastefully done. Domestically derived during dripping. Finished with a bowl. Never cried an angelic antelope. Prefer to swirl in ancient field. In honour remain. In desperation a box could jump. Releasing many objects to appease and assist Gaia at this time of great peril. Dig not a pit. Spit not on a tree. Speak not of notes to a very small rodent. As teeth are two faced belts with large bellies. Place a great offering to the silver wishing tree. Yahweh laughs hahahaha. Misted emotions now clear. Windscreen wipers of the mind. Cataclysm of faiths. Duty bound solicitation of souls. In a drip drop haven. Heaping tablespoons of jam at the cardinal buffet is just not acceptable. Many a casserole formed from pumpkins. Many a bean in a pipe. And legs of bacon spread with buttery secretions is very very imaginative and animations of swans dancing in cinemas is often misplaced adjustment setting in remote controlled handsets. Journeys. Jiving. Jalapenos. Jalapa's. Jizzum. Jazz. Justic. Jurisdiction. Jollup. *** cantering. Charismatic. Churches. Chopping choosing chips. *** potency. Fishforks. Placed *** denominations ***
Form:
A is for Ant (and for ass, your dad is an example of an ass)
B is for Bee (and for b*stard, your dad is a bast*rd - first class)
C is for Chicken (and for a word I don’t want to say - but see K)
D is for Dog (and also for Dynamite - which I’d like to shove up your dad’s... see A)
E is for Eagle (and for egotistical effing... see K... and C)
F is for Frog (and for Fu*ker, which your dad’s been doing with someone who isn’t me)
G is for Giraffe (and for Git - your dad is a Git... and he has two faces)
H is for Horse (and for Hard Up - which your dad was... in too many places)
I is for Insect (and for Insolvent, which thanks to me, he’ll soon be, with just one legal shove)
J is for Jellyfish (and Judas. Your Dad’s a Judas... with a rash from his illicit love)
K is for Kitten (and for making some words sound worse - see C)
L is for Lion (and Lobster, a creature with claws that belongs at the bottom of the sea - hmmm...)
M is for Mouse (and for machete and for manhood... which gives me an idea)
N is for Newt (and Nymphomaniac - neither should work at IKEA)
O is for Owl (and Optimistic, well, he thought that he left me fulfilled)
P is for Penguin (and for Philandering, at which your daddy is skilled)
Q is for Quail (and for Quickie, the best that your daddy could do)
R is for Rabbit (and Rampant - and once I got that, how did we get you?)
S is for Snail (and for Slug, which describes both your dad and his di*k)
T is for Tiger (and Torrid, your dad was this with some Randy chick)
U is for Unicorn (and Underhand, your dad was this night and day)
V is for Vole (and also VD, hence the rash that was listed in J)
W is for Worm (and for Merchant Banker, thats rhyming slang for your father)
X is for Xerus (and X-rated gel, I bet he’ll work up quite a lather)
Y is for Yak (and for Yesterday’s News, which is all your dad turns out to be
Z is for Zebra (and for Zeees, that his Nympho is catching, asleep next to me)
*
[Xerus is a genus of African ground squirrel]
The Great Bell of Bow
I feel such a Steam Tug and no Porkies
Some Tea Leaf Half Inched me Jam jar
In me local Nuclear Sub you wouldn’t Christmas Eve it
Almost totally Boracic on the way to me Pope in Rome
It’s Radio Rental I was just havin a George Raft
A nice Beggar Boys Ass such a lovely Pigs Ear
I only popped out for a quick Gypsies
Not even time to upset me Chalfonts
Me I’d Raspberry n Ripple em
But no leave it to the Bottle and Stoppers
Called Uncle Wilf he just showed me the Henry Moore
Forced to use a Sherbet Dab to get to me Mickey Mouse
I hope the Barnaby or the Garden Gate does em
If not up in Ding Dong or blessed with Surrey Docks
There all covered in Dudleys and end up Hank Marvin
The J Arthur Rankers
Cockney Rhyming Slang
Steam Tug – Mug – fool- idiot
Porkies(pork Pies) – lies
Tea leaf – thief
Jam Jar- Car
Half inched – pinched – stole
Nuclear Sub -pub
Christmas Eve it – believe it
Boracic (lint) –skint- no money
Pope in Rome – home
Radio Rental – mental-a silly situation
George Raft – a draught beer
Beggar Boys Ass – Bass beer (from Burton)
Pigs Ear – beer
Gypsies (kiss) - *iss
Chalfont (St Giles) – piles –haemorrhoids (sorry about that)
Raspberry and Ripple – cripple
Bottle and Stoppers - coppers
Uncle Wilf – filth –Police (sorry about that as well)
Henry Moore - door
Sherbet Dab – cab
Mickey Mouse – house
Barnaby (Rudge) – judge
Garden Gate – Magistrate
Ding Dong (Bell) – Hell
Surrey Docks – the pox
Dudley (Moore’s) - sores
Hank Marvin – starving
The J Arthur Rankers – *ankers
Form:
The Great Bell of Bow
I feel such a Steam Tug and no Porkies
Some Tea Leaf Half Inched me Jam jar
In me local Nuclear Sub you wouldn’t Christmas Eve it
Almost totally Boracic on the way to the Pope in Rome
It’s Radio Rental I was just havin a George Raft
A nice Beggar Boys Ass such a lovely Pigs Ear
I only popped out for a quick Gypsies
Not even time to upset me Chalfonts
Me I’d Raspberry n Ripple em
But no leave it to the Bottle and Stoppers
Called Uncle Wilf he just showed me the Henry Moore
Forced to use a Sherbet Dab to get to me Mickey Mouse
I hope the Barnaby or the Garden Gate does em
If not up in Ding Dong or blessed with Surrey Docks
There all covered in Dudleys and end up Hank Marvin
The J Arthur Rankers
Cockney Rhyming Slang
Steam Tug – Mug (fool- idiot)
Porkies(pork Pies) – lies
Tea leaf – thief
Half inched – pinched (stole)
Nuclear Sub -pub (public house)
Christmas Eve it – believe it
Boracic (lint) –skint (no money)
Pope in Rome – home
Radio Rental – mental (a silly situation)
George Raft – a draught beer
Beggar Boys Ass – Bass beer (from Burton)
Pigs Ear – beer
Gypsies (kiss) - piss (sorry about that)
Chalfonts (St Giles) – piles –haemorrhoids (sorry about that!)
Raspberry and Ripple – cripple
Bottle and Stoppers - coppers
Uncle Wilf – filth –Police (sorry about that as well!)
Henry Moore - door
Sherbet Dab – cab
Mickey Mouse – house
Barnaby (Rudge) – judge
Garden Gate – Magistrate
Ding Dong (Bell) – Hell
Surrey Docks – the pox
Dudley (Moore’s) - sores
Hank Marvin – starving
The J Arthur Rankers – (w)ankers (very sorry about that!)
Even Stephan
Author Message
Admin
Admin
Age : 53
Joined : 13 Jun 2007
Posts : 676
Subject: Even Stephan Today at 18:47
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Even Stephan
Even Stephan
even-steven
SYLLABICATION: e•ven-ste•ven
PRONUNCIATION:
v n-st v n
ADJECTIVE: Informal 1. Having nothing due or owed on either side: an even-
steven transaction. 2. Having an equal score, as in a game or contest.
ETYMOLOGY: even1 + the personal name Steven, used as rhyming slang.
It is Even Steven ewe the gentile reader ewe knoe it to be true it is never even
Maude or even Terry or even Sue. Even Steven means a lot of things let's see
how people use it. To settle debts they make a way to call a liability no more an
outstanding sufferance becomes the limited influenced disability please let me
explain it this time in English. John owes the lady some and she decides to let it
go as she will never see the dough and so she sidles up to John and she
smiles as big as people do as she says John its Even Steven even in the rain
come true and John is very happy now the debt is paid. A boy took his sister's
purse open and a bill she does not say to him Oh Even William Even Tim. Even
Steven says the sister of the happy little man and they can both play again
forgiven them. Even Steven says this CharlaX unto his blessed ewe we are Even
Steven on everything ewe dew.
Even Stephan
Their ma & pa were Eastenders
Blah blah..don’t remember the Blitz
Brash Cockney pretenders..same flash apparel
Let's get our mitts on a stash of Aperol spritz
Dimwits just going on benders
Bawdy tawdry mockney skits
Gits getting off their t*ts
Twits showing off their bits
Who fits?..Identikit Brits..pout
All about the clout of gaudy glitz
Silhouettes of stiletto dancers & handbags
Riff raff as naff as an 80’s cornetto
Perms & permatans..sl*gs..fancy dans in glad rags
Rhyming slang falsetto twang libretto
Chancers on a stag..s*ag nip & tuck hags
Nags of WAGS made up to the nines
Brag after cocaine lines did blag
One snag..look like a dag in drag
All from the fashion label stable
No restraint.. cannot refrain
Grandstand the brands fable
Diadora diaspora ..Fila Villa
With a Pierre Cardin Jardin
Taint just like they do in Spain
Sex..success…the way you dress
Prosecco fizz...getting in a tizz
Gilded specs and builded pecs
Greed and that need to impress
Avoid don't feed this schadenfreude hell
That is indeed called Costa Del ESSEX
A letter from Bristol arrived on my doorstep
I knew its contents would cause me such pain
An invitation for a routine mammogram –
My Goodness …two years have flown past again
I arrived at the breast-screening center
And sat down on a bright lime green chair
The x ray room I soon would enter
I’d have to strip off my pink underwear
The radiologist asked me some questions -
Did I have any worries about my breasts…
I replied they were droopy and sagging
And no longer pert on my chest!
The radiologist laughed at my answer
My humour really did break the ice
We discussed the detection of breast cancer
She listened and was so very nice
It was time for the dreaded deed to be done
Each breast squashed as flat as a pancake
Two images were taken of each compressed one
Good grief my boobies don’t half ache!
A few moments discomfort can detect cancer
Soon the pain was gone from my Bristol Cities
Early detection is really the answer
And in two years they will re squash my titties!
09~23~16
(Bristol Cities is cockney rhyming slang for titties)
Jellied eels and pie n mash.
East London Fair, and that’s a fact.
The Dockers hands, and the pearly kings.
Their romance gone, the truth it stings.
The Bow Bells ring, they sound out loud.
Cockney chests, they puff out proud.
Not much left of old world London town.
Inside office blocks our city drowns.
The rhyming slang, used to confound.
It hid the truth, of lies abound.
The gifted few, they understood.
They kept those coppers under hood.
Up the Apples and pears, mind your plates of meat.
Meant up the stairs and watch your feet.
The law never knew, they couldn’t make it out.
We watched their faces and saw their doubt.
The slang we used was not just for fun.
It kept us on our toes, not on the run.
Old London's gone it has changed its face.
For better or worse it's now a different place.
We've had the rough. We've had the smooth.
This place has changed, with times it's moved.
Like or not this is London Town.
The times have changed, but she'll not let you down.
She'll take you in, she'll hold you tight.
Embrace her heart, enjoy the light.
Vague words lead poets to heady heights far yonder
If we, like Wordsworth, seek a path to’ wander.’
But words there are whose power is less prolific,
Dwindling fast the more they are specific.
Sententious and meaningful are rhymes
Which great poets have utilized at times
as when a line whose somber end is ‘womb’
finds in the next one that ends with ‘tomb.’
Or when a line that sadly ends with ‘death’
Is cheered next line with ‘heaven’s living breath.’
Poetry, they claim, is vast and universal,
But entry to it so often meets reversal.
Screwdrivers ,it seems, have failed, to join the race
What cruel fate has offered them no grace?
‘Appetizer,’ ‘sliver’ and - oh yes- ‘scuba diver’
Bring little help the shunned screwdriver.
Can rhyming slang yet save the day?
Let’s ask a Cockney on the way.
“Sorry, mate, I don’t know neiver.”
Envoi
If there’s a will, then there’s a way,
An optimist will tend to say.
Is there answer? No chance ismissed,
If we give the ode just one more twist.
A tall giraffe at our local zoo
Got neck ache, (as giraffes often do)
With his neck being so long
The pain was terribly strong
That he couldn’t reach the leaves to chew
The giraffe doctor was quickly called
At the condition he was appalled
He told the staff not to laugh -
Just get giraffe in the bath
So to the bath the giraffe was hauled
Well you can just imagine the sight
The poor staff the giraffe tried to bite!
They got him in the tub
Gave his neck a good rub
Then they tucked him in bed for the night
They were told they must keep his neck warm …
To this order the staff must conform
Staff decided to knit
A long scarf that would fit
It’s now part of giraffe’s uniform!
Animal Antics Contest
Sponsored by Shadow Hamilton
09~05~16
N B The title will be amended after the contest to - 'You're having a Giraffe'
which in rhyming slang means you are having a laugh.