Costa Del Essex?

Their ma & pa were Eastenders 

Blah blah..don’t remember the Blitz

Brash Cockney pretenders..same flash apparel

Let's get our mitts on a stash of Aperol spritz


Dimwits just going on benders

Bawdy tawdry mockney skits

Gits getting off their t*ts

Twits showing off their bits

Who fits?..Identikit Brits..pout

All about the clout of gaudy glitz


Silhouettes of stiletto dancers & handbags

Riff raff as naff as an 80’s cornetto

Perms & permatans..sl*gs..fancy dans in glad rags

Rhyming slang falsetto twang libretto


Chancers on a stag..s*ag nip & tuck hags

Nags of WAGS made up to the nines

Brag after cocaine lines did blag

One snag..look like a dag in drag


All from the fashion label stable

No restraint.. cannot refrain

Grandstand the brands fable 

Diadora diaspora ..Fila Villa

With a Pierre Cardin Jardin

Taint just like they do in Spain


Sex..success…the way you dress

Prosecco fizz...getting in a tizz

Gilded specs and builded pecs


Greed and that need to impress

Avoid don't feed this schadenfreude hell 

That is indeed called Costa Del ESSEX
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025


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