Long Repairman Poems

One dark night a saucer crashed;
the military quickly cleaned up the trash.
In the distance, what they didn’t see;
a thin, white face between the trees.

Once all was quiet, little Gili-ok crept,
from the woods where he had...

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...Two plus two equals four...

I've often wondered,

...four plus four equals eight...

as I look back on my life,

...eight plus eight equals..., and so on,

if the sum of my experiences
is the essence of who I am.
Is that...

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Say bye-bye to these:
    "Hold, please." (Hold what?)
    Typewriter Repairman Ads
    "Dial this number..." (What's 'dial?')  
    Down-time... Offline
   ...

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Remembering TV of the 1950s

By Elton Camp

About TV, this little account is told
From when I was twelve years old
Because it was along about then
When TV fascination did begin

The programming choices were few
The channels we received...

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If your automobile insurance was all paid up to date
And you suffered a loss, just what would you say?
Would you say, “Mr. Repairman, I will pay the bill”
I don’t believe Allstate will do what they...

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patched up. got all patched up, they say. running like a jack rabbit, ready to go. because here comes spring! here it comes! gotta get patched up and ready. hammering around my chest cavity, my...

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Aaarrhhh!
You say it's not working again, dear
Curse that piece of metal junk,
it only works on Monday, Wednesday and Friday
Part-time dishwashing machine ...
and half of the time when it do work, it only get the dishes...

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Before they used computer chips

and printed circuits too,

TVs worked with different parts

like capacitors and tubes.


Our neighbor was a repairman

and he was quite adept,

he'd given me an old TV

to satisfy a debt.


I wrestled it to the...

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Revenge of the Office Copier

By Elton Camp

I started to make copies of an important report.
Just as I commenced, it sent a printed retort.
“Though I don’t contain a single strand of DNA,
I deserve respect and have...

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was a garden unloved not many flowers 
memories run deep and were buried there 
here children used to play in summer showers 
a cat stalked  looking absurd with an irritable stare

we caught this moggie...

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I hurried to a nearby town
to give an interview.
I knew this perfect job would help
me start my life anew.

I took the elevator and
pushed button number eight.
The car lurched; then it wouldn’t budge.
I cried, “Oh, I’ll...

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Every time something breaks
like the pipe in the wall
we heard gushing

this morning
my wife wants to call
a repairman because 

I can’t fix anything
except split infinitives
and dangling participles

and I usually agree 
but this time 
I mention the...

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Walk about the night
Gaze a cracked streetlight
Flickering uselessly.

Attempting to illuminate
But overall ineffective
As it's far too damaged to work without drastic change.

So it waits for the repairman
To fix all of the problems
That it certainly didn't cause.

But...

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