Long Optometrist Poems

Will wonders never cease!?

Alternately titled: Last of the fluff
belonging to a Mohican
Norwegian bachelor farmer wannabe.

Any resemblance between said unnamed individual
and living persons purely coincidental.

Scads of decades back in the day,
not since this sexagenarian baby boomer
happened...

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ELLY MAY


poem by: Maria Williams

T'was the night before her birthday and Elly May
Still in the office putting stuff away
In her horn rimmed glasses and grey flannel suit
She was the epitome of perfection, the essence of...

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Albedo effect in full force after appreciable snowfall

After descent of eventide
luminescence of freshly fallen snow
still illuminates the terrestrial firma bright
even upon the onset of dusk,
when dark shadows
betoken the edge of night
analogously herald outer limits
invoking intimations...

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Hooray for Captain Spaulding...
though he played only a cameo role
helping me secure corrective eyewear I sport

mucho gratitude to all parties involved
including the missus,
cuz she needed to shuttle me
to and from hither and yon,
wherever I needed...

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Once upon a time
In a vast kingdom of Modern land
Oddly not in a far far a way suburban
Was there a pretty girl
Prettier than the Venus, some claimed
Softer than petals of rose, maids alleged

She was skinny,...

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People watching today at the optometrist                             ...

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The Penny

At the Dollar store.

“Excuse me,”
She said
As I got into my truck.

“You dropped this.”
And handed me 
a nondescript penny.

I thanked her
And drove away.
Only in Myakka City.

(Often times as I pull my cell phone from my...

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HE NEVER NEEDED GLASSES

As he grew older and older…as it sometimes does
his vision began to fade…it wasn’t as clear as it once was.

The optometrist fitted him with glasses…and the moment he put them on…
his world...

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dadgum doctors, heads up their butts
poking, prodding, pricking skin
neurologist a psychopath
gets pleasure as electric volts pass through my body

family doctor showed little concern
made me paranoid about irregular heartbeat
EKG failed to determine cause
left me more in...

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Some people seem to have trouble
Admitting they're getting old
So I'll list a few warning signs
And you won't have to be told

When your arm gets too short
To read your favorite magazine
It probably means it's time
For your...

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Must see an optometrist next week
Not saying I'm blind as a bat, but bats see better
The tiny type on TV... forget it
Don't know why they bother
Might as well be greek as far as I'm concerned
Oh...

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Words get lodged in teeth.
A dental hygienist
has actually extracted a few.

Like bats words hang
from the roof of my mouth,
their subsonic squeaks
jiggle its epiglottis
like a witch doctor’s rattle.

The optometrist wears her glasses
over the bridge of her...

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Words lodge in my teeth.
My dental hygienist
has actually extracted a few.


They hang like bats
from the roof of my mouth.
Their sub-sonic squeaks
jiggle my epiglottis
like a witch doctors rattle.

My optometrist
wears her glasses like lingerie
low on the bridge...

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