Long Muenster Poems

Yours truly would never be confused for a gourmand, nevertheless I could enjoy experiencing taste testing select food samples if offered an opportunity of attending a fancy feast viz smörgåsbord, whereby oral indulgence would arouse,...

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The moral mortgage of mice and men 

Yours truly quite astute,
especially regarding cute
little field mice, also known 
as meadow voles,
which imprecation one doth emote,
when aforementioned animal burrows inside
leaving pellet size poop in their wake
suddenly presenting...

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Oh Mondseer: the muck cob brie muenster saga..., 

crafted when Wallace and Gromit 
returned from their trip to the moon, 
which I can prov-olone huck curd 
(within Trump con feta ration) – 
as cheesy poem...

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Oh Mondseer: the muck cob brie muenster saga..., 
which I can prov-olone huck curd 
(within Trump con feta ration) – as cheesy poem!

Yea of course writing ideas unstoppably
burst asunder at the most inconvenient
opportunities such as...

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Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...

dramatically expanding spouse,
when adorning buttons 
pop off undersized blouse
which spurs yours truly to grouse,
and ruffle mine tail feathers 
while listening to Scheherazade.

Eats her weigh out of home and house
unsolicited feedback courtesy
quite doubtful,...

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Marriage to alarmingly ballooning...
dramatically expanding spouse

Eats her weigh out of home and house
unsolicited feedback courtesy
yours truly, she does grouse
quite doubtful, she could pose
for playboy and/or penthouse
returning explicit volley
of trailing appellations lobbed

expletive laced epithets
directed at her...

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We bought a pet called Zack
Just shy to a cow’s knees
Gave it cheddar to snack
Since he always said cheese
But he grew overnight
In his width and his height
So we switched to some brie
And thought that, with...

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Acapella, Abbot’s gold, cheese made so big and bright and bold.
Pepper-jack, limburger, cheese on your pie. Why, oh, why, cook, why?
Mozzarella, Elberton Blue, cheese so tasty for me and you.
Cheddar Cheese logs, cheese dogs, cheese...

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CHEESE

Wisconsin is the Cheese Capitol of the USA
There you can find cheese ever on display
And of this wonderful thing called cheese
There is a type for everyone if you please

There's Cheese Grits, and Nacho Cheese
Muenster, Guta,...

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The humble cheese has a secret superpower
Its gooey glory conquers cauliflower
The melted cheddar of fried baloney
The better half of macaroni

The sharp-dressed suitor of apple pie
A fondue tryst with crusty rye
The love child of curds and...

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For Terry Flood,* since you insist,
Here, in rhyme’s my shopping list:

Orange juice and Starbuck’s (iced,
Even though it’s overpriced),

Bagels, Swiss and muenster cheese,
Whitefish salad, frozen peas,

Broccoli and salad greens,
Carrots, berries, nectarines,

Melons, muffins, chocolate treats,
Licorice or gummy...

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I don’t have a lingering doubt
That cheese is the gods’ gift to man.
It compliments other fine foods
Whether peppery, salty or bland.

There’s gorgonzola and Stilton,
Emmental, muenster and bleu,
There’s limburger, feta and Jack,
And hundreds of others, too.

When...

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Some say it tastes like cardboard
While others think it’s great.
The way you feel about it
Isn’t worth a big debate.

For if your background’s Jewish
You’ll consume it for a week,
In honor of tradition
Or acknowledgement you seek.

I like...

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A lunch for me that’s bound to please
Is one containing melted cheese,
For on a bagel or some bread
(The crusty type) or else instead…

Inside a quesadilla shell
Or anyplace to melt it well,
I love its oozy stretchy...

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