Long Lout Poems

Twenty two years had passed  by

She blinked, and a lifetime had passed

She started this job as a lark

She never thought it would last

Two husbands and rehab were part of this bar

The husbands...her clients all...

Read More

Every January first of the new year...

finds me (a doggone muttering Homo sapien)
to give pause for reminiscences
and to take stock (sh lock and barrel)
about mein kampf in general
and previous three hundred
and sixty five days in...

Read More

Open minded Ike, who hailed from County Pike
Inherited a classic Indian Motor Bike
Being open minded and concerned it might offend
He buried it in the land fill of South Bend
Open minded Ike lived on the old...

Read More

“Auld Lang Syne” - the most-sung New Year's Eve song

Courtesy Robert Burns
circa  (25 January 1759 – 21 July 1796)
the National Bard,
Bard of Ayrshire
and the Ploughman Poet.

Two hundred sixty one orbitz elapsed
since brief existence of...

Read More

Blandishments eroded invaluable necessary viz life savings of mine videre licet alms

initially crafted June twenty fifth
two thousand twenty four
affecting me to utter "oy a broch"
(pronounced ah-BROOKH)
before I cast accursed blatant spells
outright upon the head of...

Read More

How Wiccans acquired a bad rep is not clear.
Misogynist bullies afraid of these women’s light,
A young teen with an ugly heart of jealous fear,
Might point a finger under cover of night.
But in Salem Massachusetts, hysteria...

Read More

One day as our little Dragon passed by a house, he heard someone in distress.
He shouldn’t have left his window open, for he’s now in store, for a big mess.
Dragon ran quickly up to the...

Read More

Yes, I read my Dragon, the story of good old… ‘Robin Hood’.
You know, the first super hero, who was really… super good.
Now, with Dragon, things don’t always end up, exactly… as they should!
His eyes lit...

Read More

Birthday Poem to Myself
by Michael R. Burch

LORD, be no longer this Distant Presence,
Star-Afar, Righteous-Anonymous,
but come! Come live among us;
come dwell again,
happy child among men—
men rejoicing to have known you
in the familiar manger’s cool
sweet light scent...

Read More

which prime mate affectionately called buttock blaster
alimentary explosion ofttimes causes global disaster
upon such gaseous debacle run for your life ever faster!

Yours truly (humorously dry husband)
can definitively attest,
she (thee missus) nixed, ordained,
inured, espoused blessed
discrete frolicsome liaisons...

Read More

bachelorhoodwinked
by michael r. burch

(a poem about wedlock, or lock->wed)

u
are
charming
& disarming,
but mostly ***ALARMING***
since all my resolve
dissolved!

u
are
chic
as a sheikh's
harem girl in the sheets
but castle's no longer my own
and my kingdom's been overthrown!



That Not-So-Mellow Fellow, Othello
by Michael R....

Read More

...Ideally Primed To Write...

Fallow wing on figurative
     awk kill lees heal
of: "My on call (Uncle)
     Muse Never Sleeps"-
     which hoop fully

  ...

Read More

I like my lies the way my mother used to make them. Wrapped up in spring roll pastry and thrown into the fryer. Served on a plate to a child who had nothing else to...

Read More

“...But you are my wife, and I made a vow,
even though I was a half-drunk young lout,
you belong by my side, and I by yours,
the rest of it we’ll somehow figure out.”

She still looked pale,...

Read More

III.
It was the next day the sheriff rode out,
three bodies had been found in a dry gulch.
The sheriff saw Paul meet him at the door,
heard raves from the back, where his brother sulked.

The sheriff frowned....

Read More

You’ve reached a certain age when life has set you free
You can cock a hoop at protocol; do things that aren't PC
You can swim in just your underpants; be a gentleman or lout
Speak your mind...

Read More

You're nothing
You're a disgrace
You've been dishonored
You've been unmasked
For the villain
That you are.


You know not
What true love is
You know not
The meaning of family.


All you know is yourself
Self-centered and egotistic
Who deserves the spotlight
Shine upon him
Thinking the world...

Read More

I sing the praises of Sterilite

(even Mary Poppins would tout
a plug for said company she would spout
forcing playthings scattered helter skelter
retreating into their respective bins
analogous to a defeated army
beating a hasty retreat after a major...

Read More

Autumn In The Air - Hooray

Respite from punishing 
     heat wave - yay
which above line,
     could "speak" volumes,
     and be a stand alone...

Read More

One day an evil man came to them in sheep’s clothing,
To lead them into his evil ways he was hoping.
So treacherous and evil was this ravenous wolf,
Feeding off of their ignorance while he played golf.
So...

Read More

Bully me, yours truly 
never ordained, gifted, or blessed
with mien mean characteristic
evoking, jump/kickstarting,
representing, nor zapping
friend or foe courtesy fiery intimidation
if anything aura, charisma, dogma, and karma
emanating, issuing, and oozing out
body electric of one heretofore bookish...

Read More

Virtual trophies (wife for I)... 

offered, husbanded, and collected 
when winning solitaire
Nothing beats that exaltant rush of adrenaline
watching the computer generated cards
automatically routed 
to their respective suite (spot)
(after they get turned face value up)
generates countenance...

Read More

with noticeable burgeoning bosom in the offing, ahoy
this baby faced blubbery bosom beastie boy
fast becoming a bra man,
and might hire himself out
as a male wet nurse for employ

ment, cuz when stark naked on shark tank,
I...

Read More

Copyright 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
POETIC LYRICS BY THOMAS L.H. ANDRESS
Dedicated to EVERY AND ALL MELISSAS, ELIAS' & MATILDA'S!
(BANGING IT TO THE MAX!)
(HILLARY AND BARRY...2016...PEANUTS & BRITTLE!)



NIGHTS...OUT...My-Time-is-OUT!
My-Light...is-OUT...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
In-my-lousy-NIGHT-OUT...My-Poster's-STROBING!
LIGHTS-OUT...AND-STROBING!
FLASHING-AND-DASHING...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!

If-crystal-smiles...CRACK...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
If-teeth-don't-SQUEEZE-RIGHT...HE-WAS-A-CROOK
AND-CROOKED!
If-crystal-smiles...CRACK...He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!

You-wonder-AND-DOUBT...Are-you-SMART-or-DUMB
AND-A-LOUT?
I'M-SMART...AND-YET-YOU-DOUBT!
He-said-WONG-ing-And-WRONGING-BRING-DOUBT
SO-PEN-RIGHT...AND-DON'T-DOUBT!

He-was-a-lousy-LOUT!
A-CROOK-TO-THE-MAX...AND-A-LOUT!
CONNING...to-the-MAX!
LIKE...A-MAD-MAX...SO-DON'T-DOUBT!

If-TOOTHY-GRINS...SPIN-YOU-RIGHT-TO-WRONG!
DON'T-DOUBT...He-was-only-a-lousy-LOUT!
In-the-howling-BLUE-STARLIT-CRACK-OF-LIGHT!
BURSTING-and-SPINNING-TO-THE-RIGHT-TO-LEFT!
BLUE-LIGHT!

And-when-I-awoke...toothy-grins...and-smily-faces
MY-SISTERS...TOOTHY-GRINS!
MY-SISTERS...IN-TOOTHY-GRINS...AND-PINKY-TOES!
Dancing-in-the-BLUE-LIGHT!
POSTERS-BLAZING...AND-DAZING!
SMILING-FACES...AND-TOOTHY-GRINS...ALL!
OUR-WALLS!
AND-BLUE-LIGHTS...AND-STROBES!
ORBS-OF-OUR-HOPES-AND-DREAMS!

If-you-wonder-and-DOUBT...Our-Boxes...OF-TOYS-BRING...GRINS!
TOOTHY-and-TOOTHLESS!
THE-BEASTS-IN-THE-HOWLING-AND-WINDLESS...SWIRLING
'NADOES...IN-THE-PUREST...HOPES-AND-DREAMS!
OUR-BOXES...OF-OUR-HEARTS...DREAMING-AND-SCHEMING!
HOPES-AND-DREAMS...STORED-RIGHT!
RIGHT-TO-LEFT...AND...LEFT-TO-RIGHT...SPUN-RIGHT!
SWIRLING-AND-TWIRLING...BURSTING-AND-BIRTHING!

When...MOM-AND-DAD...POPS!
It-was...CRYSTAL...and-POP!
'NANAS...AND-CRUMBLY...CAKE...AGAIN?!?!
SCHOOL'S...OUT!
LIGHTS-OUT!
YAY!
YAY!
NO-WAY! NO-WAY!
AND-WITH-OUT-PINKY-TOES-AND-PINKY...JUMPS-TA-START!
CRYSTAL-BLUE...STARLIGHT!
CRYSTAL-BLUE...STARLIGHT!
LIGHTS-ARE-OUT!
LIGHTS-ARE-OUT!
STROBING...AND-STROBING! CRYSTAL-BLUE-STARNIGHTS!
STROBING...AND-STROBING! CRYSTAL-BLUE-STARNIGHTS!


FINI--------------------------------------------------------FINI!!!...

Read More

Imagine all the people
who trade in human life,
imagine all the reasons
given to this particular vice.
I visualize the rivers
that run with coagulated blood,
I visualize the tyrant
that stir the waters good!

Imagine all the evil
where nightmares are conceived,
imagine...

Read More