Long Lost loveheart Poems
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an impossibility. so it seems.
how did we get to where we are?
An impossibility. ripped at the seams.
How did I let my heart get this far?
Its an impossibility to breath without pain.
a sure probability that I wont be the same.
an instant feeling, that my heart is at my feet.
just pieces of a person, that used to be me.
am i even happy? is this meant to be?
I'm staring at a reflection that wont look back at me.
A glimmer of my former, a me I used to be.
Is this the real amber? or love's casualty.
My reflection still wont look this way,
Am I in danger of losing myself completely?
The injustice of love i've suffered mercilessly
I've tried so hard to not let it defeat me.
I've tried so hard to hide this discreetly.
But I just cant sweep it under the rug
and ignore that its been lurking near.
When you ignore something so relevant,
you find yourself full of paranoia and fear.
Is this really me? This robot talking and ranting.
Where am I? lost inside a love.
I've prayed so hard, so many times,
begging for answers, for strength from above.
I'm broken. crumbling. cracking, falling.
I'm lost. scared. alone. trembling.
I'm defeated. beaten. overpowered. failing.
I'm asleep. nightmares. monsters. dying.
You're my everything. my world.
what am I without your hand in mine?
And this is where I've lost myself,
A love that consumed, overtook, intertwined.
I love you fiercely. without regret.
I love you without an ounce of doubt.
But now I've fallen into a deep, dark hole.
and can't figure my way out.
I could never take back my love for you,
its not just a plug i can pull.
I can't just walk away and never look back.
You made my heart beat, my life full.
I stand corrected. you still do.
you always will. my heart has been yours to keep.
thus the reason i feel so empty and scared.
this leaves me alone and broken to weep.
why does God let us love so fully?
Why does he let us love so blind?
He should limit the love we can feel for another.
I'm tired of loving so hard. and being left behind.
I gave all of myself completely.
never an ounce of lazy love.
I've put forth effort that could move mountains.
its just never quite enough.
Form:
By the beach, I walk. I see sea gulls flock. Breeze touching my face,
I can almost feel your embrace.
From a distance, I hear you whisper. From a distance, I hear it clearer.
I stop my heart, I make it tame. When I hear you call out my name.
I hear sea waves crashing against the rocks. The sound of it makes me
miss you a lot. Softly, the birds sing their song. Oh how much for you
I long!
From a distance, I hear you speak. As I hear your voice, my knees go
weak. If only I knew the words to express how I feel. Then you’d be
with me, you’d be here.
By the beach, the sun sets. I remember the day we first met. You were
by the beach on your knees. Asking my name, you even said please.
From a distance I see it before my eyes. I remembered too well how sparks
started to fly. We were inseparable, we fell so in love as we walked by
the beach gazing the stars above.
By the beach, we were to wed. It all changed when that fatal accident happened.
I remember too well that fateful night. Watching the news, it was a horrible
sight!
You were driving, on your way to me. When a car swiveled and took you away from
me. In the news, about your death I learned. I couldn’t breathe, my throat burned.
I cried a river upon realization. I just couldn’t stop this painful sensation.
I once had you, you were mine. Now everything isn’t fine.
I hear the waves beat against the shore and here I am with a mountain to climb.
If I could just change it all you're heart would beat here next to mine.
My love, sweet love I say this so that you'll know, "Though you're now gone away
from me it doesn't mean I'll ever let you go."
My love, sweet love, never can I replace you, no one in this world will ever do.
They'll never understand that my true love is only you.
Oh love, sweet love you were the very best thing that my Creator has given me.
By the beach, I stand here and there's nothing left but memories.
You were my heart
You were my soul
Yes my tears do steady fall.
In our grasp
It was there
Babe, we almost had it all!
*********************************
This poem was written by Lizann Tan and myself
Form:
Sherry, The One That Got Away
By Rick Rucker
Sherry was the one that got away,
I remember her to this very day,
She was quite a winsome lass,
I was far below her class,
Her brother was a friend of mine,
I first met his sister, with a smile of Sunshine!
I went to his house to swim in his pool,
There, I made myself the perfect fool!
I was drying off, and standing there,
When out walked Venus, with raven hair!
I was not merely tongue tied,
Had I not averted my eyes, I might have died!
Just then, my heart suddenly stopped,
But for paralysis, I would have dropped!
Understand that I was shy,
Too afraid to talk to her, I won’t lie!
Just to make matters worse,
A song came out, to add to my curse,
Frankie Valli sang a song,
To, my embarrassment, prolong,
The title was graced with her name,
It made feel even more lame,
A line of the song asked her on a date,
To never have the courage to do that was my fate!
I had a rich fantasy life,
In it, she starred as my wife,
We were so much in love,
Birds serenaded us from above!
I imagined we had little need of clothes,
Writhing together, we would curl our toes,
Finally the balance of the Universe I had to restore,
I could not take it anymore!
I began to think like Machiavelli,
All because of Frankie Valli!
With her brother, I did pick a fight,
So that I could sleep at night,
So that I would see her never more,
In time, my heart became less sore.
In time, I learned to be more assertive,
Not merely giving girls glances, furtive,
I even fell in love and married,
But, sometimes at night, my thoughts tarried,
On the memory of that lovely girl,
Who, among the swine, she was a pearl.
Whenever I read about two people, married forever,
I kick myself for lack of guts I never,
Asked Sherry on a date,
Therefore could not become her mate,
I do not know what might have been,
Had I not been the most timid of young men.
I hope she has had a wonderful life,
I did, and a terrific wife,
But still I sometimes hear that song,
And instantly, I know that I did wrong!
Acquainted with love again
I soon recovered from past pain
I met this goddess in a tight black dress
I peaked Kilimanjaro, at the sight of her, I must confess
We exchanged digits and addresses too
She said she loved me and I said “I love you”
Problem is that she lived in the far away
But I said I got to have her as she left with a hypnotic sway
So, you guessed it, I placed in a box my healed heart
It was as good as new and wouldn’t break apart
Sent it to her overseas by FedEx
Yep I was horrified at what happen next
The bloody plane crashed in the sea
With a lone survivor, nobody knew where he could be
I hear the sod washed up on an island beach
My heart was drenched in tears and out of reach.
However, the boxes all wash up on the shore
The bugger ripped them open but mine he kept aside on the floor
Every box he ripped I felt it in my chest
I silently said please, not the one with the gold crest
Anyway I think he was feeling what I was going through
As he developed a pain in and didn’t know what to do
The pain was severe, a bloody tooth ache
Which the poor bugger knocked out with the blade of an ice skate
My heart was telling him what to do
And he knew that this box was now important to him too
Eventually he mustered the courage to leave the island on a raft
Which took him some time to build but mastered the craft
When he left the island he took the box his ball friend, Flintstone
And started adrift with a hope to see home
A ship found him passed out floating on the sea
With a box tightly gripped for her from me
They dropped him off in the town where my heart was to be
And he made sure he delivered it himself you see
But a week later I received a box with a note
That sank my heart and choked my throat:
“I love you my Sidney but your love was too late”
“I finally received it but I couldn’t wait”
“I have married now and I hope you did too”
“I return your heart and remember that I love you”
So if you were ever wondering what was in that FedEx box
It was my broken heart wrapped in a pair of warm wooly socks…
This crap...back and fourth...hot and cold...in and out...Too screwed up to figure out
what this is all about.
I could scream and shout...but my love remains devout... to infinite amounts without
a doubt.
Stuck in the mud...of the grave that's been dug...few moments of peace within the
few snug hugs...then shaken away like the dust on throw rugs.
Long talks...long walks...tears cried...tears dried...over lies lied.
Too stubborn...too torn... two people with a lot of pride.
Happy...sad...anxious...mad...emotions up and down...like a roller coaster ride...but
still won't subside...because he's still the one and only I'm confident to confide...but
these days wanna run and hide...tired...but faithful...hopeful...in the decision I
myself can't decide.
So I wait...try to relate...often times debate...contemplate...wish...hope...it's not to
late...to start over with a clean slate...believe in that blind faith...for my family's
togetherness sake...I'm living a nightmare...but I am awake...can't tell between fact
and fiction...true loving feelings...or fake...Texas holdem...and my heart is at stake.
So much confusion...disillusion...over one conclusion...terrified of losing...the one
that I so long ago have chosen.
Optimistic...pessimistic...i love you...I hate you...your a dick.
Confliction causing friction...wanna change this situation into fiction.
Tomorrows a year...and nothing is clear...if I was an alcoholic I'd drown the sorrows
in a beer...but instead I'll deal with what’s been dealt...shedding the warmth of my
salty tears...take a look in the mirror...and clean up the mascara that's been
smeared.
But it is what it is...one day at a time...faith...hope...no reaching for the dope...to
help me cope...put down the rope.
Pray for the best...get past this test...find a way to give my mind and heart a
rest...give him peace and patience to rest his dome...and keep the faith in him to
find his...own...way back home...so neither of us ever gotta feel alone.
Form:
I gotta be honest I didn't think we'd go good together
From disliking each other to standing in sub-zero weather
Little did I know I was forever in the prescence of my future wifey
I messed up multiple times, I bet you wanted to fight
I cheated on you because of your past and that wasn't right
Sublimenal corrections are in order
You promised to have my daughter
Or yet my son
Thousands of hours passed since our love begun
Now karma has the audacity to step to my front door
I felt what you felt and I beg you boo no more
I'm not gonna pretend that I'm irreplacable
The love that we have for each other is impeccable
The house I built for you in my heart is unwreckable
You and I bouncing back from this BREAK is inevitable
The BREAK...
A Bad Relationship Enters A Koma
Encased in doubt we are, I can't smell the aroma
Of your lip gloss when we lock lips
Of your breath when I pull your panties below your hips
But back to the BREAK, I feel like it is my blunder
If you hear my heart cry for you, it'll sound like a roar of thunder
The only thing I am trying to prove is I can't let you move
That is...on without me
Don't ever doubt me
Face your fears
I'm here to wipe your tears
I've always been in your shadow
Getting you back will be like winning the lotto
I don't have a car or a job, to take you on dates
But I bet a bus and a SS check will get us our dates
This ain't materialistic
Let's be realistic
I'm the only man alive you should be with
If not then take your pick
Me or Him
Other girls? Forget them
Deprived of attention is how I left you
Ignoring what we had was in fact special
Scared I was of being did bogus
I cheated on you what a hocus pocus
Love her I did, in love WITH her I wasn't
Laying in my bed thinking about it was not pleasant
Then it came out and I felt like a baby with a bottle
Then you forgave me so I pushed it to full throttle
Things went smooth for a while...
He sits and mourns and weeps within the Willow trees. A sodden forlorn form,
alone in his own company. bemoaning fate as destiny's joke. While keeping in his
cups. An addled mind won't show the truth of how he was taken in by a trollop.
Immune he thought his senses be to the wiles of a womens ways. For was he not the
one who always had his heart intact at the end of the day?
But sly as night her temptations were. With each smile and bat of an eye. Her
gowns were designed to tease a glimpse. Of what lay beneath when she disrobed at
night. She coyly watched from behind her fan as he went slowly insane. With a need
to kiss her red rose lips an add her to his fame. He bet all the men at his Club that
he'd have her in a fortnight. They gladly took his wager, cheering on that she'd put up
a fight.
He took her riding in Hyde Park and to the theaters and brunch. Presented her with
diamond pins, ruby eardrops, necklaces and such. She played the game so cunningly
with smiles and gentle touches. Unspoken promises of passionate nights. She had him
in her clutches. Then came the night that she gave in. Not once did he think of bets
while in her bed. No, the mighty Rogue was well and trapped. His heart new it was love
before his head.
He lied to his chums and paid dearly. For he could not publicize it so. he loved the
woman more than money. His ego he let take a heavy blow. He lavished his first and
only fiance with all she could ever want. Money to buy her wedding trousseau and a
home on West Hillary Blunt.
It was a sad day for all mankind when he stood alone at the alter. She was already
half way to Paris, France. His new found faith in love began to falter. How could he,
The Rogue Supreme, have fallen when he should have been dallying? He was tempted
by fates first taste of trust. Brought low by loves sweet calling\center>
"Act one Scene one" contest
Placement: 4th place
You and me
It was always that way
From the moment I first saw you
I looked deep into your eyes
You looked back
An electric shock jolted through my body
Traveling from the top of my head to the souls of my feet
I knew at that moment that I couldn’t live another second of my life without you.
You and me
We stand close avoiding the tide
I’ll read the story behind those eyes
Together we can teach each other to fly.
In the sand
A heart is made
In it are the names of two people
People who will always love each other
The heart stays out of the tides reach.
You say “I love you”
I swear it’s too good to be true
I don’t deserve you
But I can’t deny that I need you
You’re the air I breathe and without you I’ll suffocate
I hold your hand tight begging you please don’t go.
My heart beats at its own pace
Going much faster than my brain
So loud that anyone near could hear its song
But the loudness means its unguarded
With love comes pain
But I’m living now
Tomorrow can wait.
I look in your eyes
But you don’t look back
They fill with tears
What’s wrong?
The tide comes in faster, stronger
It sweeps you in ripping your hand away from mine
Then swallows you up.
But you’re not lost
Because it turns out you cannot loose something you don’t have
And that is far worse
Its like waking up from the most beautiful dream
And realizing it was not real
Nor will it ever be real…
You were imaginary.
An allusion
All in my head
Yes there is something worse than loosing a loved one
That is when you never had that love to begin with.
But you remain in my head
Though it’s all a lie
I still believe it
Sometimes the most memorable events
Are the ones that never happened.
I return to a place so familiar
All covered with golden sand
In the sand
A heart is made
In it are the names of two people that I’ve seen before
People who will always love each other.
Within any depth of darkness there is always a small shred of light,
No matter how frightening chaos can be there will always be hope within the blackest nights.
One tear drop of happiness can rid the existence of terror in a person's heart,
And when evil is introduced to an random act of kindness it can be ripped apart.
The rage that exist in my soul stayed bottled inside for so long..I forgot the true
meaning of a smile,
I walk and talk like an happy individual but I was truly miserable looking for joy's
number to dial.
Every obstacle...every situation that came in my path I was responsible to fix it,
Each issue resolved...but the result was how much blacker my heart became while the
depression would sit.
I look around my aura wondering if I can ever be saved from the misery I feel,
Not all of us can acquire the heart as the great man of steel.
Though that's how I'm treated no matter how deep my pain may be,
And no one cares as long as the job gets done even if the pain is very easy to see.
Beyond the door to my heart I always felt only darkness lied behind it,
But...the moment you opened those rusty hinges I couldn't believe what I saw within it.
Light...strength...hope...emotions that I thought long ago died,
Everything I use to trust in went up in smoke as the negativity fried.
It's almost a shame that God had to personally send one of his angels to resurrect me,
Though I am thankful he sent you to bring back the man I'm suppose to be.
Right now it's very hard not having you in my life like you once were,
Neither of us saw the drama that arose and the stress that quietly concurred.
I am letting you know that you are my light,
The essence that keeps my fire burning bright.
Come back to me so I can once again feel the warmth of a peaceful home,
But from the way things are looking...I guess it's my turn to guide your way back home.
When will it be time
For the sublime
For you to be mine
And Let love take a chance
Afford me a second glance
So fate can take a hold
And love can be bold
Our souls pledged to each other
No longer look at another
Only hope awhile
A hope for that smile
To show your feelings pure
Allow my heart a cure.
But my feeling are hidden
Absolutely forbidden
By my complete morality
My complete insanity
In not being able to confess
And stop the second guess
That goes on in my mind.
It’s just a hopelessness to find
A discrete inch of hope
At which I can grope
With my withering hand
Stretching out of the quicksand
Of my recurrent dreams;
Trickling like a stream
A little tear escapes
Forever drapes
It’s little trace of hurt
Makes its final spurt
Down the wanderings of my life
Built on insignificant strife
From a defective girl
Who caused my feelings to unfurl
In an un-natural way
Took her chance to make me pay
For her disquiet inside
Fermenting a thousand lies
And countless false attractions
So now my heart won’t sanction
A confession to your face
As I fear I couldn’t replace
The strength I now have inside.
And yet. And yet I feel
Relaxed in your presence
I feel your warmth and essence
Radiating from within.
Your laughter and tenderness,
And a heart that says ‘Yes’
Allowing my hopes to endure.
There’s no need to hide my dreams any more;
I wish to wrap you up in my arms
To be dazed by your charms
And to lie by your side
Feel love that strikes at my very core
Forge my soul with yours
And experience a happiness eternal.
By looking into the purity of your eyes
I see a reflection of all that I am
And wish for no more than
Your swollen heart to be mine.
No longer do I feel alone,
My insecurity has been disowned.
I am now able to say those heartfelt words:
‘I love you’