Long Limericks Poems
Long Limericks Poems. Below are the most popular long Limericks by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Limericks poems by poem length and keyword.
“My Daddy’s profession is the highest!”…
bragged a boy during oration contest
“…He soars up above the sky
and that we cannot deny---
since he does fly as pilot in his best.”
“Indeed, my Father’s work ranks the greatest!”…
boasted next lad with his gesturing zest
“Pilots seek him --- not defy
they can’t lift their heads to sigh
favoring his barber’s cut, so finest.”
With our heavenly Father*, we are blest
Being His children, lovingly dearest
Never bidding us good bye
Lifting faith, trust and hope high
Settled in His compassion’s gracious nest.
*Ephesians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ. (Third stanza added on March 2, 2022.)
March 2, 2021
4th place, "Two Limericks - Let's have some Fun!" Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin; judged on 3/19/2021.
DRUNKEN OLD Pete...
Old Pete went out to celebrate new year
Was over the limit from too much beer
Old drunks they never learn
Cos he took a wrong turn
And drove down harbour hill right off the pier.
He was floundering and kicking his feet
And didn't see the glow of a sharks teeth
From Pete's leg took a bite
To quench his appetite
And poor Pete's face turned as white as a sheet...
A passer by heard a scream and a shout
Threw a rope and managed to get him out
Said "you're lucky to survive
But you shouldn't drink and drive
At least in your one foot you won't get gout"...
He lost his job and he now has to beg
So to hospital he went for a new leg
They had no legs in stock
And old Pete had a shock
When they fused beer cans to make him a Peg...
EXPLORER STEW ...
Two explorers Barthomolew and Drew
Came across natives practicing vodoo
They ran but were too late
And awaited their fate
A native shouted "we got us some stew"...
GRETA...
Greta wanted to stop world pollution
And warned that there will be retribution
Said " I'll name and shame
Those who are to blame
And action, less talk is the solution" ...
Written 28th December 2021.
Losing worries
Beneath the stardust
Moments,
Embracing peace
Inside the soul stirring
Promises,
Breathing colors
Hues vibrant, soothing
Beautiful
Like the candle’s dance
Sparkling like the moon
Rising beyond clouds
Whispering silent rhymes
Into the sapphire skies,
Erasing the night with lights
Blazing in fires of insight
Reflecting the joy of a sunrise
Flowing beyond the ridges,
In windy limericks –
Beating elegies, verses
Visions in epics, prose, words
Released by the gentling
Spirit of laughter, smiles
Kind and vibrant, soothing
Away the disillusion, the confusion
With belief that holds onto
Hope, faith and love – in a grasp
Handed down from His wonder
His blessings of joy unimaginable,
Joy alive inside the soul,
Joy that believes and controls
The pen, the page, the poet’s statement
This is poetry’s fire lingering
Inside, secrets of the soul,
Exciting like the most inspiring
Moment, the timelessness
Inside the wise words, delighting
Stirring fires of grace abiding…
Across the night,
Glowing, glittery glimmers
Exciting the sunlight at dawn,
the moon’s thoughts -
With a flow of haunting
Treasures in praise, prayers –
Penetrating poetry – pieces of peace,
Pieces of impressions
Brought to life inside the one who knows
His love is the everlasting hope
The second chance to bring alive
The remarkable, the exceptional, the
Notable – the cherished thoughts,
Stanza of grace, vision so startling
It feels like the way through the past,
Around the worries, the struggles,
Through the pain and confusion –
Into the miraculous place
Where His light lifts all the mist away
Clears the way for a new day,
A new hope, a new prayer, a new
Wisdom opening up the life
Who knows the meaning of His sacrifice!
SLAM - a form of poetry wherein poets slam, insult, roast and/or highly criticize each other in poetic form.
*
My General Poet Slam
*
You dare refer to what you write as poetry?
I read inconsistencies and total lack of originality.
Your haiku's truly lose any and all credibility,
and your limericks are as lame as can possibly be.
Your couplets are what I find most pleasing to read
because even though they are meaningless and boring,
at least they are brief,
but it is most likely that I'll forever give your poetry a read.
I'm an insomniac, and your poetry naturally puts me directly to sleep.
Don't quit your day job,...seriously,
but you might make a fortune helping insomniacs to get some sleep.
One thing I've learned here on the Soup
The moods of the site ebb and flow
Depending on so many unknown factors
It can be fast and it can be slow
Response to our poems surely won't always
Predict the popularity of the piece
A great title, as I've suggested many times
Is key for the success of your release
I'm no expert but been a member since 2012
I've noticed some repetitive patterns
Limericks and other stuff can get attention
But simple rhymes it's praise they do earn
So what I have found since the beginning
To get read it helps to add humour
No need for words that no one understands
That's always been just a rumour
So simplicity rules and does every time
Main goal is to be understood
Communication is the word I'm looking for
In this poetry neighbourhood
© Jack Ellison 2015
The Pensive Poet Poetry Contest. Sponsored by: Constance La France
By Poet "Oh yes, 100% human here. No AI for me."
Come let me tell you a story,
how writers once wrote.
They wrote from their loving hearts,
telling stories in different styles.
Some were rhymes or funny limericks,
verse was a favorite along with a tanka.
I find acrostic to be fun,
but taking more thought and time.
Today this new thing called AI,
is the new kid on the block.
AI has no loving heart to write with,
yet many readers have been blinded.
I put much thought and reflection,
into each poem for my readers.
A true writer writes because they love to,
also writing for their many readers.
Writing anything political can throw fuel on a fire,
but these Limericks are not meant to ignite anyone.
Just a bit of humor in my opinion. Yes, we all have one.
A Musk rat and a vengeful dog
Both wantin' to be called Boss Hogg
In a rocket they'll launch
The critter with a paunch
Always croaking like a bullfrog
Trump wrote a poem about the day
A verse about those who will pay
For insubordination
He'll demand castration
Through vengeance, he will get his way
Took them all to the launching pad
The rat, the dog, Fat Kim and Vlad
Cast them into deep space
Earth will be a safer place
When it's saved from those who are madddd
Kim Jong Un asked to be on board
It was a seat he could afford
"Take Putin for the ride"
Trump wants him at his side
Into space and beyond they soared
The real 'rocket man,' evil Kim
Thinks the world should belong to him
Trump and Vlad lost in space
Lil Pudge will take their place
And King will be his pseudonym
Mestor, son of Poseidon steady gaze
upon a dazzling mermaid saffron blaze.
Wind swept across her brunette
wet long hair, thoughts of a net
and human ways, hooted in shrill amaze.
Mestor woke amongst an ocean sand bed
of froth, sounds of laughter in the wind spread.
A glimmering pace along
the beach and a droll tone song
in the silver wake of the moon was shed.
8/1/2018
Prizes' Contest: 'Sea Tales Limericks - Old or New -
Sponsored by: Carolyn Devonshire
MESTOR A king of one the ten kingdoms of Atlantis--a mythical continent in the Atlantic Ocean. He was a son of Poseidon and Kleite.
http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/PoseidonFamily.html
In folklore, a mermaid is an aquatic creature with the head and upper body of a female human and the tail of a fish.[1] Mermaids appear in the folklore of many cultures worldwide, including the Near East, Europe, Asia, and Africa. The first stories appeared in ancient Assyria, in which the goddess Atargatis transformed herself into a mermaid out of shame for accidentally killing her human lover. Mermaids are sometimes associated with perilous events such as floods, storms, shipwrecks, and drownings. In other folk traditions (or sometimes within the same tradition), they can be benevolent or beneficent, bestowing boons or falling in love with humans.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mermaid
I wrote an email to a friend. She challenged me to an exchange of poetry (we both dabbled in writing). I was petrified, having only written a few limericks as a child, and a few poems in my adult life motivated by major life events. I started to compose an excuse, but then, decided to make it into a poem. I was hooked.
I’m glad to hear you’re back in action.
It gives me a certain satisfaction
To know that you are not in traction
Or have a wisdom tooth impaction;
And I would like to celebrate
This happy outcome of your fate
With a poem in which I could relate
Thoughts on this, judged first rate.
Unfortunate-lee -
I cannot see -
Myself writing poe-tree.
The very best that I could do
Is tell a story - one or two -
Which happen to be true.
Even the process of writing fiction
To my comfort level causes friction,
To make you read it, a dereliction,
Punishable by conviction.
So, I will not commit this crime.
I can’t even find the words to rhyme
And if I did, they’re not worth a dime.
Sorry, I cannot write a poem this time.
Hot Bikini
Suzy bought a new bikini for Joe
But the price she paid, he wouldn't want to know
A sexy sheer suit,
expensive, but cute
She's hoping it soon makes his hot blood flow!
Jaw dropping
Martha liked to tan topless at the beach
Soon her phone was ringing and out of reach
She stood up to her dismay,
her rack was now on display
A man's dentures dropped, as she heard a screech!
A Sudden Boost
Dan was ready for a hot summer night
With his new date, wanted to make it right
He took three blue pills,
hoping for some thrills
But with the quick boost he couldn't stand upright!