Long Lectured Poems
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You came home from Quebec,
you were never alone;
your shadow chased you around town
like a dog in love or out of love.
They told me you have been to places
where flies sat conveniently on the ledges of your lips,
you've eaten ugali with your fingers, someone else's fingers,
soaked in saliva and the red juices of greens and beef liver
I remember you leaving Scott County to drive along the roads
of summer with green trees waving at you. You were famous.
You sent a picture of Niagara. Before a mirror,
I saw my eyes in the falls that should've lectured you,
then you sent Alberta dressed in flora and sunshine,
but before a mirror, I saw where sorrow dug trenches in my brow.
At sunsets, I watched the tired lights walked slowly westward like an old lady on quad cane ... and I forgot the sound of my name on your lips
When July entered our town with loud children, you were in Whistler. His mother is continuing in Paris,
and poor James, God rested his bones somewhere in London.
You killed me with Yellowknife when you spoke of the northern lights,
but not once questioned my lonesome nights in White Sulphur
where fresh winds licked the skirt of a White horse to ignite a horseplay
You say Saint John spoke proudly of Como,
so I searched the map to find you where you would sit to sip something
that spoke proudly of Campari Spritz.
I found Whistle Pig Stout.
Some nights, I'd search for you when my finger was tired of scooping peanut butter from a jar. I traced from Revelstoke to Squamish, then to Halifax,
but I found no lobsters big enough to keep you there.
You called about Ottawa, and I found Rideau Canal, a lazy river that still works for the people. You told me Tofino spoke proudly of Costa Del Sol,
so I searched the map to find you where you would drive along something that spoke proudly of Ruta del Sol y del Aguacate.
I found Chesterman Beach Road.
December drove you home, pulling down your dress
to cover the spots where the cold winds were touching you.
I am getting used to being single.
Written 03\28\20
And here tonight I assumed
This would be just another one
of those average dinner parties
With a stream of boring associates and
their plus 1 partner or other
But wow
Hey you
Are so different from all the other's
Why I am so glad I bumped into you
and for you taking your time to introduce
yourself and engage with me in
conversation
Bacause you are so
Insightful
Engaging
Witty
Knowledgeable
&
Informative
I am so glad you came
Where have you been my entire life
I'll have to take your number down
So you can tell me so much more
about how I can be a better person and
how I could live a more fulfilled existence
And also again please as I am sure
you will begin by reminding me about
all of the charitable works you do and
endless causes you deficate your
spare time to
Because I especially loved and was
interested in your story about how
you have come up with a plan to
tackle climate change
Because I myself unlike you who is an
actual firm true believer in God and do
believe
I so to do also believe nature is beyond the
realms and out of humanities control
and remit
So once again may I say thank you for
coming and the pleasure of your company
and forthright opinion
As who on earth wouldn't thoroughly
love having welcoming you a guest
into our home
Having to spend a night for fear being
thought of as inhospitable lacking
manners and appearing rude
Wouldn't then enjoy appreciate and want
to to be lectured to about and have
pointed out all the countless thing's
they are going and doing wrong
By all accounts no 1 else but
themselves has anything good
to say about
And never actually got or anyone
invited in the 1st place and the only
reason they are here is because
They have no qualms Inviting themselves
as do they have expressing and imposing
their own personal uninvited opinion on
other's
And did they also forget to mention they
are also vegan meat is murder rude
to serve and eat in the presence of them
Smoke kill's and and if you want to do
it kindly go outside
And do you know just how much damage
Alcohol causes then peel off random
statistics
So many fun facts
Riding the bus to school past an ugly reminder
the tattered trailers next to a construction site
I imagine the way it used to be
a house
across from a dozen shattered trailers with little heat
no water usually but electricity
visiting mom was a treat
Dad would not refuse to drop me off
at her trailer with my pet rat
rad dee louise, ratty louise mom called him
she loved him so I let her have him
mom had friends over all the time
this tattered trailer held them while
I watched and smelled the perfume
watched her glow red and crystallize with 2 grown men
then dad picked me up for the night
next time a man drove up to the lot
he rolled down the window and I ran up
we talked and I must have been smart
because he remembered me and drove off
she wanted to talk about the spies
the eyes in the trees that were watching her
I ate the crystals she gave me saying
these are cow grass, they put the cows to sleep
I did not sleep
she lectured me
about all the terrible things that others
could do to me or had done to others
so I went outside and built a fire
that fire lasted through the night
the coals were most amazing things
I'd ever seen
I stared into their eyes
keep them alive and nothing else mattered
She came storming out of the tattered trailer
after midnight or just before dawn I dont know
screaming
I'm being electrocuted! she said
tired, I wondered why she felt that way
she jumped into a tree and sat their shaking
I tried to comfort her but she was on fire
I saw that, tried to leave in vain
she kept me close and dragged me
to the battered trailer again
she pulled me from place to place
around the compound in the dawn
the fire coals were cold and so was I
wanted to sleep but she kept saying
she was being electrocuted
waking up I wandered to find the sheriff
shaking her awake and taking her away
they took me too
to the dock where the van was
where my dad was gone
I told them he was teaching which was true
so I woke up alone next to the payphone
and crawled into bed in the van
I didn't tell my dad
Rather than crank up the heat...
and ratchet up global warming
like bubbling vegetable stew
with tsk... tsk... heard
courtesy Greta Thunberg,
who would utter "how dare you..."
I bundle with layers to stave off cold
energy efficiency drilled courtesy
me late mother conserving
nonrenewable resources she extolled
now ewe best heed following suggestion
wool worth 3d printing than wearing
a sheep doubled over
along dotted line to fold
cuz expending (fossil fuel)
leaving carbon footprint
would immediately being lectured
by ecology conscious eldest daughter,
(a University of Pennsylvania
biomedical engineering alumna)
who would mildly scold.
Myself and thee missus holed up
here within Highland Manor Apartments
(unit B44 in case you wanna drop me a line)
we're here moost every cold December day
sipping warm cup
of our favorite beverage
exotic coffee latte brew
suits this muttering pup
actually yours truly
a doggone ole
long haired pencil necked geezer.
He can be found moost any given warm Green Day
shuffling along boulevard of broken dreams
overhead skies colored rosy gunmetal gray
occasional huff fro zen cloud slashing solar ray
heating inside cozy nook,
though outside temperature brisk,
nevertheless for winter quite balmy
while I sit here heavily clad,
hence yours truly quite toasty within
perfect weather for wedding,
especially one hashtagged December/May.
After dusk i.e. established misnomer known as sunset
occurs 4:36 Post Meridiem heavens quickly turn jet
black today - Thursday, December 10, 2020 (EST)
whereby darkness lulls one into sleepiness, I bet
dollars to donuts impossible mission
to keep eyelids opened, particularly if sleep debt
necessary to pay the sandman,
who knows maybe you gotta get get
comfortably numb vis a vis temporarily unconscious
state, whereby dreaming of a white Christmas
analogous to eventual Elysian Fields,
where divine creator
conjuring Nirvana and/or
a place called Willoughby
if a believer, said Almighty eventually met.
that there is a personal something out there
something greater than what you can see, hear, touch, smell, taste,
study, test & validate through rigorously systematic rational
inquiry---
that this personal something cares about what your life specifically entails
on a daily basis
wherein what you as a little pubic hair in the great great great universe
somehow matter more than what your short life actually entails---
that this something out there can evade all questions because it holds some kind of
power that due to its very intangible nature & that makes you feel somehow
superior to the rest of us who do not believe as you that this something in any way, shape
or form does in fact exist or matter at all in the
slightest---
that there are texts that were somehow written down by actual human beings who have had
some kind of contact with this something
which we are all supposed to read, have read to us, be lectured upon, be brought up on, be
molded by & to abide by to the very last letter until our own annihilation---
that you can communicate directly with this something by squinting your eyes shut &
talking to yourself---
that because you think this something speaks to you, you therefore have the reason to
start wars with others who do not think like you
because you allows yourself to kill others in its name---
that you have the right to try & convert others into your way of thinking so that they no
longer follow their own cult’s stupidity but now yours---
that you somehow lay claim to land & that your manifested destiny may very well stretch
the whole of your periphery because of this something you believe in---
that you will die for this something, that you would kill family members & loved ones for
it if you felt that it told you to do so (those stirring voices in your own head rambling)---
that when you are finally dead,
you will be with it, closer to it, basking in it, doing its bidding,
rocking back & forth in a corner
mumbling complete &
utter
gibberish.
"You know uh, I loved you in the past, I was so cringe back then"
I heard him saying, after he could now rest after years.
Even though his face spits smiles, I saw his eyes in fearce.
"No, but you were cute. Very kind"
"Really? wasn't I being annoying?", he laughs.
"Maybe. Maybe you also made me comfortable. You once made me mad too!"
"Did I? No wonder", he sighed.
"When you were so much filled up with jelousy that you always told me to go after my crush always when he was nearby.
That's the only thing that made me mad.
Like where actually being annoying.
You weren't annoying when you told me to watch out or sended me messages, I didn't mind."
"I'm glad"
"I'm glad that you were able to say that once out loud."
"I'm glad that you reassured me."
"Don't look after me, you are the one that is most sensitive and more effected in the moment. I like you you know.
Just because someone rejects you, it's nothing negatively meant."
"Right"
"Because the thing is, everyone loves, everyone gets crushes. And you now you could've told me."
''But I couldn't have handled the rejection. No thank you, I would've cried in that moment hahahha"
"You're right. I still would've been and I am there for you. You know like when someone loves you it gives you a connection with that someone.
Not romantically but like-"
"Friendship like? But then it wouldn't work."
"No not friendship Like.
I don't know how to describe it.
Just don't feel bad about that you loved me.
Don't think you wasted it.
Don't regret it.
Love is inportant.
And to be honest you lectured me that way how to handle situations.
How to carefully approach them.
I am thankful for that"
"Ah, you're just saying that"
"No I am not. Not everyone loves me. Not everyone tskes his time, his energy.
His tears"
''I didn't cry ever. You nevee made me cry, you never said something wrong."
"But even small actions could, like where I avoided the eye contact?"
"Yeah you're right"
"I am sorry about that"
"It's alright."
no emotionally ecstatic experience compares
to the seminal instance
whence spermatozoa
(from profuse ejaculation) beget
the miraculous propensity
to procreate despite the steep odds
female fertility fosters potential impregnation
fusing the hereditary debt
of feral, fiery, fomenting friskiness
fueling fancy free footloose fornication
prior to seminal fertilization union
sans ova doth induce fret
full ness in tandem with
diametrically opposed exultant sensations
(biologically, embryonically, microscopically,
et cetera) seismic shocks inject
when deliberate intent arises to disregard
applying prophylactics choice
plying reproductive roulette let
which analogous fruitful uterine plain
bastes the "cooking" egg omelette
which impregnation upends cessation of "self"
first and foremost asper desire to breed
wrenching role of "me" as operative
of webbed world de jure upon
consummating that most miraculous deed
necessitating yet for the fecund female relief
from messy menstrual cycle
she becomes temporarily freed
that perhaps a novitiate (or even a gal practiced
in the euphoric family, she instinctually
abides prenatal signals that heed
without feeling debased, harangued, lectured
pedagogical, polemical, puritanical, et cetera blast
assessing copulation enjoyed gloriously,
ineluctably, kinesthetically
lectured by elder, especially cast
in thee reel life drama, that nine months
til offspring utters initial whimper
elapses exceptionally fast
emitting a radiant golden halo wishing
to bottle confluence of hormonal secretions last
ideally fully awake to the birthing process,
when juiced the first stage of maternity past
cuz every moment thee inconsolably
(perhaps colicky infant)
gets first dibs to suckle,
which round the clock nursing
consumes moments many vast.
Without doubt true,
and yet too redundantly lectured,
especially to our young of body and mind,
the virtual world is not reality.
And yet,
Elders seldom hear
when youngsters pout back
what must equally be true,
Earth's reality is no longer devoid
of virtual communicating worlds
without so many competitive walls
to hinder cooperative re-education
about mutual relationships
between polynomial information trends
and polypathic energy economies
and polyphonic co-relational politics,
all networks for off-line Earth's reality
and on-line virtual ego/eco-centering systems.
The story of information systemic regeneration
reweaves Earth's creation story of Gaian Cooperative Hypotheses
knowing we are already a cooperatively intended democracy
living in diverse locations,
identifiable 4D geometrically revolving spacetime locations
emerging from advents of fertile prehistoric winters
producing reborn ecopolitical springs,
diastatically mature summers of healthy wealth revolutions,
harvesting AutumnElders of poly-nutritional wisdom,
restored in understories
of Yin's first and last winter blanket;
egocentering processors
re-aligning with eco-centered Earth's fractal-regenerate realities,
virtual on-line
as 4D cooperative off-line.
Without doubt also true,
and yet too redundantly gamed and networked,
especially by our young of bodyminds
with bilaterally thinking spirits,
Earth's reality includes on-line virtual cooperatives
and off-line ecological Tipping Points,
climate change
as both potentiality
of cooperative health
and WinLose reality
for competing flesh and blood pathologies.
Truths,
1 is always positive or negative in Earth's metric LeftBrain languages,
just as timeless 0s are both/and equivalent notnot double-bound with 1
co-binary RightBrain balance,
virtual-digital and historic-analogical waves
between past and future,
tipping toward co-present.
Well it’s not a laughing matter but I’m grinning once again,
‘cause out of nine of us at work, five have felt the pain,
of suffering as a ‘bloody idiot,’ after having a few beers,
and trying to do the wrong thing, which ended up in tears.
Before I tell you what one done; although I think you know,
If you want to drink and drive then there’s a chance you’ll blow
into a tube of crystals, that changes colour if your breath
contains a hint of alcohol; and that is certain ‘driving death.’
Now young Winston from the office is looking very glum,
for he tried to shun a breath test that as a rule of thumb,
is the silliest of options, so when he turned into a side street,
two coppers waited patiently and who Winston got to meet.
I lectured Winston on his silliness but young blokes never learn,
‘cause four blokes here before him have already had their turn,
at using ‘shanks’ pony’ transport to convey themselves to work,
and now they watch from footpaths where coppers tend to lurk.
But not me, I’m too smart for that; I told these bloody fools,
I would never drink and drive my car, or try and break the rules
by dodging breath test stations; and Winston dropped his head,
‘cause he didn’t heed my message but defied what I had said.
And I proved this at a Christmas party that we held last year,
when whisky started flowing and chased with full strength beer.
I was way above the limit but my car stayed off the road;
instead I took a bus home and I was still in drinking mode.
And sure as heck at Christmas time, a breath test station’s up ahead,
but coppers waved the bus through, what car drivers surely dread,
and I arrived home safely which surprised me quite a bit,
for I’d not drove a bus before and don’t know where I got it!
You shattered my world
I was a sweet innocent girl
Thought my future was solid gold
Then you flushed my heart bitter cold
Went from a flow chart to a volcanic eruption
Minutes, days, weeks, it'll eventually even out.
One mans laziness caused another mans corruption
When foundation crumbles
You constantly stumble
Balancing on floating ice
Pray for a solid double on those dice
Teased a lot by a half roll,
There's just so much I can't control
There's nothing more powerful than not being scared
Skepticism I've grown close to, a friendship hard to bear
Think of a million possibilities with each choice
There's always going to be that internal voice
Why make it so hard?
One mans laziness is another mans corruption
That someone else will take care of me,
I'll never jump to that assumption
Gets harder and harder,
Then easier and easier
Harder and harder
Then easier and easier
All that matters is how I spend my time now
What I do now will help my future somehow
Where will I be in five years?
Have no idea
Asked me that a lot when I was younger,
Always had an answer
But back then
I was just a kid
Love, what's love your asked?
You lectured so many times
I'll put it on repeat along side a laugh track
Love is opposite you
It's opposite everything you do
Trying to deal with real love
That's truly far and above
Anything you can comprehend.
You taught me the greatest in life
Concentrate on the good,
Keep your head up with pride
Conquer the madness by ignoring it
Do positive things to destroy it