Long Lifelife Poems
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Two hundred and forty seconds or more,
Laying, fetal position in Mother’s fluids,
Fighting for air, for life
Foreshadowing his existence.
Birthed, alone
Taken from one home of solitude to
One of solitary confinement.
To us, a tragedy, to him; life.
December 3, 1930,
Before the stock market crashed
Before this child would be set aside with lost children,
Before he had a chance, he was raised by strangers.
“Institutionalized” from 3 years of age to 18 years old.
Everything being done for him, is measured doses,
Single serving packages were his normalcy,
And nurses squawking, “He’ll never be able to function on his own”
And finally, 18 years old, she came to get him out.
Let him be in the world amongst family, amongst people,
Amongst the living, instead of amongst the helpless.
This “cannot” man, got a job
Cooking for our countrymen
Caring for all encountered on a daily basis,
Permanent smile, glued to his face.
He had done everything he wanted
Even as people looked at him with sympathetic eyes,
He was oblivious to their gaze, yet he knew.
He didn’t mind, didn’t hit the nerves with this man.
He invested money
And made more than most “able” men are capable,
To him, however, it was of no consequence.
He was just as happy to smoke a cigarette and drink coffee.
O, the adversity, the near-death birth,
The late-night mugging, broken mandible,
Never disfigured his smile, or his outlook on life,
Could never dampen his demeanor.
Who ever came, or has come into contact with him, at first
Ultimately felt bad about themselves, as I did,
Never has there been a man so selfless, so unaware,
So angelic.
Like he had already transcended humanity within those
Two hundred forty seconds, and decided to stay for the Ride.
Everything was so new, so awed by life in general.
Family and friends of Larry,
Should know something they might have overlooked.
This man, rather, this man-child, although sheltered,
Institutionalized, disregarded, downtrodden by others,
Accomplished more than most men that have been referenced and revered.
never said a dull or commonplace thing, and for that he will be remembered.
Two hundred forty seconds or Less,
Laying, embracing the life he had, opened his
Eyes, and it’s December 3rd, 1930,
and Mother and son stare at each other for the first time.
Begin at the beginning is a good place to start
It makes this poem less tart
sliding from oozed cocoon box
the lions have dens, the holes for fox
screaming is the first noise issued
followed by the orchestra, snap of tissued
help, first comfort, live source
growing, crawling, helped by guiding force
noise, turns to speech of understanding
running with friends, heart finding new palpating
severed from Mother, put into class
many hours of sunshine day passed by glass
innocence and imagination creeping
in Mind, sponge of perpetual learning
Ten, innocence flirting with early romance
ending child-like state, maturity dominance
father gone, replaced by foreign rule
never seen someone so cruel
Middle and High, progress to Schools
thrown into pens with some fools
many friends, smorgasbord variety
some try maintaining sense of piety
learn more about self but not all from schooling
secret meetings of passion, extreme heat, then cooling
growing both physically/mentally
stress where to go, what possibly
JC, CSU, UC?
sometimes they don't let you see
more to life then this madness
never seem to reveal or confess
Robe, with tassel hat and gown
some stand up and some go down
scattered pearls among swine
some go far, some stay close, all fine
some going here and there
some make it with bruises, some skin fair
becoming adults, transitional line
hardships or smooth sailing we will fine
working and schooling
but who are we fooling
it can be hard, stressful for sure
sickness, flu season, try to find a cure
death, taken without warning
all of these memories consuming
had to get this out to you all
before my brain-kept fall
seeing life and all its glory
all its pitfalls, sometimes gory
side, summarizing here
shell-shocked there and there
flowers all in a row
my mind will grow and grow
internal struggle through Academia and depression
the world, external, reflecting recession
we will pull through, hope
Don't let them simply say, "Nope"
life, roller-coaster up 'n' down
spin, spin, Dervish gown
everything turns this way and that
skinny, bloated and fat
but Joseph crawled from the well
after being pushed and fell
light returns after cycle, night
sometimes we must throw-done, fight
don't give up, keep going
keep doing what your doing
If Dr. King was here today at us he would probably shout
for us to stop making excuses and find a way to work it out
we're constantly stressed and we just need to see
that misery loves nothing more than to have some company
always with our stories and drama is our calling card
nothing worthwhile is easy and we think our problems have gotten hard
so stuck in our ruts and unwilling to try anything new
incapable of looking at life from God's point of view
no more excuses allow God to move you along
it's time to stop singing that same old tired song
climb out of that river named denial and start swimming ahead
let God guide your story so your life will be spirit led
no more excuses we have now been vindicated
a Black man in the Oval Office we've been validated
to look through the lens of grace which is the eyes of God
to get a new attitude and make a fresh start
to man up, to stand up and start taking care of our own
to be productive human beings, independent and now grown
no more excuses and if you go out and make babies
be the head of your household and support your family
if they won't let you coach the team but will let you play
walk away from that organization right away
if they'll let your join a group but won't let you lead
that is not the association in this life that you need
guys pull up your pants and girls pull down your skirts
you have too many choices in life than to be just thugs or flirts
walk with your heads held high for now you're on higher ground
you've been elevated by God and have no more excuses now
no more excuses, no more reasons to just complain
learn to pay it forward so your living won't be in vain
no more excuses be willing to make a sacrifice
like Jesus the Christ did for you when He gave His life
to look out for each other and always willing to lend a hand
to love one another like the Lord Our God did plan
no more excuses step out of your comfort zone
and remember you're not in this world alone
remember and respect your elders who fought and cried for you
acknowledge them always and give them their proper due
speak life to your children and encourage them to succeed
for they are the future and the fruits of our seeds
no more excuses let the Lord God guide your story
to live by His Holy Word and to give Him all the glory
Live life as if today is the last,
In a lane with only one speed-fast,
With a direction of your own to become someone,
A twist of hope and faith will get the job done.
With different sounds that flies from ear to ear,
The sounds boom to the beat with fear,
To give a hit with a meaningful symbol,
Pounding in one’s head to a beat to making a heart feel full,
So we all become full on the green paper we call money,
But remember, in the wrong hands it can tear like a joke so funny.
Use this as a reality check,
‘Cuz little poems like this is like a car wreck.
A car wreck where your life flashes before,
Giving you a direction to another world, another door.
As the bigger picture starts to rush towards us,
Thinking fast is the only way, but feels as a rush.
A rush to make choices and become someone or just be another face,
Just don’t make the mistake to give up in a race.
The race has a beginning and an end,
With one heart to either pull through-or turn around the bend.
Where do you want to stand at the finish line?
With your head laying on your resting bed,
Being that person with only words that were said?
Or having that heart and accomplished dreams to be remembered when you’re
gone.
A big thing to remember is it’s the deep words that can bring out the best or worst
in one.
And the basics of how we live is up to you,
No matter what your past is or if you’re looked from others eyes as a fool.
Take that step of hope and faith and use the key we all hold,
And never let someone take it or ask for the key to be sold,
‘Cuz once behind those chains of wrecks and the past,
The locks become heavy with more master keys to uncast.
Only those who don’t give into the hardship of the rock,
Will become that someone to the world of our own,
And even then well have haters that don’t want you to be shown.
Shown because of talent, hard work, and a heart so fresh and strong,
And don’t listen to anyone who tells you you’re wrong,
Wrong for taking that step into the reality of having a big dream,
With the spot light coming down on you like the sunshines beam.
So all that’s said it can be you,
No matter how far through life you’ve gone you can make it through,
Opening the chains that have buried a known face,
Make it so you’re steps away from winning life-the long race.
Sometimes I would look into their eyes and strait lace lie as if I was telling the truth.
Sometimes I was disgusted in myself cause I would know the truth and I would lie so fast
and decline to ever tell the truth. And you know once you lie you have to be committed to
it, which only makes it worst. Consumed by the actually truth and not revealing it was the
hardest trick, all most like the devil, turns out to be scary for the ones your in love
with. But did I care NO, I continued to do the same, until that one did it to me. So when
she did it, it crushed me, to the point to where I felt like I could not breathe any more
and I fell to the floor like a bag of bricks. I was done, washed up, and almost jealous at
her for that moment, so what do I do. They say to pick yourself up and to brush it off,
but for me it was harder then that. It was like it sucked the life out of me. I had never
felt lower in my life then at that point, it took awhile, a long while. But after years
and years went bye, of soul searching and mind healing. I finally started to heal. Wish
also lead to the end of the final stage of being selfish.
Often in my life I was missed judged, under appreciated, miss used and then thrown away.
Cautious of others, not wanting them to get close, so you know, here comes that cloak.
Forced to be manipulative and to hide myself from the truth, and to keep anyone close to
the truth, so close that it would be right under their nose, and they would never find
out. Persistent in my approach, full throttle all the way. Confusion played a major part,
cause if they weren’t sure about it, then how would they ever really know. Becoming so
intoxicated with the game of it all, I can feel it taking over me. Dividing fact from
fiction was an everyday chore, trying to remember what you told and who you told it to was
a game in it self. Passionate to make everything work in my favor and a lot of times it
did, but boy what a price, I would pay in the long run. Sometimes it would feel like I was
on acid, from all the trails I was leaving, trashed to the point where you feel like, “Why
did I do so much“. Thinking my swag was so strong that I just keep it moving on. The
first stage of being misguiding has ended.
I had a talk with god today,
I had to share what he had to say.
He told me of the simple truth,
Our selfish way's will make us lose.
For this gift of life he has given us,
Such a wonderous thing this valued trust.
The very thing's we take for granted,
Our life , our uniqueness,
our strength's to us he handed.
He meant for us to give unselfishly
to continue living.
NOT By destroying other's
to achiecve our selfish bidding,
For this world ,this life goes
so much further then us.
It's in sharing his love,
faith,and hope in our nativity cusp.
It's much easier to give graciously ,
And much harder to take so selfishly.
If we'd share the abundant love within ,
Our world would be as in heaven
and not the hell in which we're living.
Why do we torment ourselves for decietful gain.
Causing our own stress and all this pain?
We all know we're meant to love and to give.
Instilled within god hoped we'd abide by and by this we'd live.
We've forgotten the knowledge god put in our mind.
That would solve the suffering we continue to fight.
If all would see past themselves and beyond.
Give and help each other is how this world would live on.
But we choose to cling to our selfishness .
And live by greed and all this lust.
The hope ,faith human trust would rebuild in all we seek to trust.
Acheiving power by giving and ending all greed.
Is all this world desires and it's all we need.
What he gave to us whole heartedly.
And shown to us unselfishly.
That this power is to give
and in that is to live.
But thus we choose to live to destroy and deprive.
And god's truth We never see until the day we die,
The very love he bestowed on all of us,
Was given to all and all he's cares and loves.
He had a vision in his heart for us you see,
His plan was that we'd give the gift he given both you and me .
I give the gift of word's he gave to me.
I put them on paper for all to see.
I say again he told me so,
So listen intently for all must know.
He had no selfish desires when he made all woman and man .
All he asked was To cherish each other and all we have and that was his only plan .
See it's so easy to live simply by this
God spoken to me these word's are his.
Written by :Rhonda Zitelman
Form:
A MOMENT IN TIME
Many people miss the chance to discover the truth about things in their life. Then you
have those people that are born with the truth about their life, and then there are people
like me who at one point and time knew the truth and chose to stay away from it. Now as I
look back, what a stupid move on my part, and not to mention the lives I ruined with that
choice. I made a choice to be selfish and misguiding, leading to a lot of broken hearts
and empty promises. I guess you really never know what’s going until it is to late and
the mistakes have already been made. “What a life?”, is what I used to ask myself, “What
are you doing?”, was another popular one. Sometimes I didn’t know where I was going or
where I was at, lost in a world of my own, with no concern for anyone else. Growing up
took a lot, a lot of focus and determination, and that also came with a lot of pain and
sorrow. Realizing the truth about myself again took a lot out of me, and it might of
crippled me, if I wasn’t so strong. But then the question arises in my mind, was I really
that strong, if I ran for so long? Changing everything in my life to see what would work,
but nothing would work, because I wouldn’t let it work. The first stage of being selfish
has now been complete.
So where do we go from here? Learning how to fake the truth is where I went. Time after
time I lied to myself to make me feel better about what I was doing. But did I ever stop
to think of the people in my life that would be affected by this move. Becoming stand
offish, was one move, being totally engaged with myself with no care or no worries, but
little did I know that I was ruining my own life as I lived it. I used to love to disguise
my soul and mind just to fit where I was at. I was very quick thinking on my feet, no
matter where I went I could mold into whatever they wanted me to be. Almost like wearing a
cloak, and I was good at it, but for those people that thought they knew me really got the
worst end on the stick. There would be times where I would snap and fight friends and they
wouldn’t even know why I would and I would never explain it either. The second stage of
being selfish is now complete.
When perfection is at its best it’s all you could ever think about
And everything that goes with it you can’t seem to do without
Even when you’ve been through hard times it fades in the background
When you compare them to the unattainable goal you’ve just found
It seems as if this is your only water in the middle of your drought
All you can see is how large, how flawless, how exciting it all seems
And the desire to have it permeates all your thoughts and dreams
Nothing else seems to matter, your family or your life
You allow your pursuits to cause you so much strife
And slowly, string by string, you unravel at the seams
It’s like an open book, and you think you’ve memorized every word
Or like the song that keeps playing that it seems you’ve always heard
You know every letter, every conversation, and every event
You know every tune, every melody, and every beat that’s spent
And that depth of knowledge keeps your love spurred
You never stop to consider perfection is only relative
And that every positive side is coupled with a negative
You can’t erase the past and you can only move on
But you can make sure that life doesn’t make you its pawn
So that you can stop dreaming and take initiative
There’s so much you just don’t notice when you read between the lines
And when you look too hard you’re forced to resort to being blind
You see the cup as totally full when it’s empty
You see the outside as clean but don’t know the inside is dirty
And no matter how hard you scrub or you try residue is still left behind
It’s like the loss of wind from fully blowing sails
And like being trapped in a circle where everything fails
You’ve lost every dream, every inspiration, every hope
And every word, every song, everything that helps you cope
Is crumbling down and leaving its devastating trails
So never fail to look past the outside to what is within
Always stop to look at what you’ll lose and what you’ll win
Because when everything seems so full but it’s actually hollow
And you find that such an empty life isn’t what you want to follow
It will be too late because the cycle has started again
When perfection is at its best it’s all you could ever think about…
You look back at your life
Wishing you had more to show
Wishing you had done more
You find yourself periodically saying
That you've always wanted to do this and that
But never had the time, never took the time
You have these unfinished dreams....
They remained only dreams
Dreams that only grew brighter with years
But became duller with time
Until they faded away all together
You grow old wondering what stopped you
What you could've done different
Maybe you would have enjoyed life for what it was
Did you have someone to share it with
Would that have even mattered
Maybe if you chose the path less chosen
Maybe if you took a stand
Would you be wondering of the life you led
Could've been so much more
If you only did instead of just wanted
If you made it happen instead of pining after
Would you still have these regrets
Walls seem to close in around me
As the truth is finally revealed
And I find myself many years older
Reflecting back on my life
Realizing I have nothing to show for it
Realizing I have no clue who I am
Maybe I am who someone made
Like a doll off a factory line
Someone else's design
Asking myself a thousand questions
Why did I settle
why did I give up
Why did I give in
Why did I lose hope
Why did I lose love
Why didn't I live
Why didn't I speak up
And I realize I'll end up stuck
Never able to be truly happy
Was it all worth this life I led
I had dug a ever-growing grave
and one by one, piece by piece
I threw a little of myself inside
Down into the deep cold darkness
Hard to have hope of what could be
If there's no support or encouragement
Once satisfied with the pieces left behind
I started to fill it up with damp dirt
Out of sight out of mind
No more longing of what could've been
All that is left is a mere marker that reads
Here lies what meant the most to her
And this hits me with such force
Can't believe this has gone on so long
Why didn't I see it all before
Was I really so blind to it all
Did I really sacrifice so much
To make others happy and satisfied
And for what do I have to show
Nothing but a hole starting to fill
I won't be looking back down the road
Wishing I had stayed true to myself
having grown up with a smoker for a father
i have most certainly inhaled my fair share of second-hand
so i never fell for the allure of big tobacco & the
kool kids
still, there have been parts in my life where i have found myself
chewing---
i must admit,
large quantities of gum
have passed through my life in spurts
leaving holes of gumless moments---
the furthest back i remember chomping on
big red---
dad would drive to a gas station & i’d always ask for a
pack
if i remember correctly,
the packs always had an odd number of sticks,
still,
all covered in sugar, my teeth would have completely rotted out of my head
if i continued big red until this present day---
i don’t remember any special visual ad that struck me
which might have made me invest so much time & effort into its chewing
but without squinting my eyes to remember
that theme song is still there
right behind my retinas
“longer with big red---that big red freshness lasts right through it---
your fresh breath goes on and on
while you chew it...etc.”
advertisers are as close to any concept of
”satan” that could truly pass in this ephemeral life
little league will force any kid to stuff big league chew in your mouth
until all your friends start doing the real stuff
& maybe you decide that you don’t want your face to rot off because
you fill your mouth with dripping wet
excrement & then
promptly spit it out afterward
uck.
there were the days where my idiot best-friend & i would try to see how much
cinnamon bubble tape we could shove in our mouths before it burned so much
we had to spit it out---
then, of course, they came up with the
bubble puck, which
was nothing more than just one huge hunk of gum the size of a
hockey puck,
so of course, we just shoved that whole thing in our mouths
trying to cram another in, and alas, to no avail,
we would promptly spit it out as well
i can’t remember when i wised up to the fact that continued chewing of
sugar gum
would take all my teeth,
but i did---
and so the other spurts of gum chewing throughout has been filled with the
sugarlesses---
and of course,
they are going to give you
cancer.