Breath Testing
Well it’s not a laughing matter but I’m grinning once again,
‘cause out of nine of us at work, five have felt the pain,
of suffering as a ‘bloody idiot,’ after having a few beers,
and trying to do the wrong thing, which ended up in tears.
Before I tell you what one done; although I think you know,
If you want to drink and drive then there’s a chance you’ll blow
into a tube of crystals, that changes colour if your breath
contains a hint of alcohol; and that is certain ‘driving death.’
Now young Winston from the office is looking very glum,
for he tried to shun a breath test that as a rule of thumb,
is the silliest of options, so when he turned into a side street,
two coppers waited patiently and who Winston got to meet.
I lectured Winston on his silliness but young blokes never learn,
‘cause four blokes here before him have already had their turn,
at using ‘shanks’ pony’ transport to convey themselves to work,
and now they watch from footpaths where coppers tend to lurk.
But not me, I’m too smart for that; I told these bloody fools,
I would never drink and drive my car, or try and break the rules
by dodging breath test stations; and Winston dropped his head,
‘cause he didn’t heed my message but defied what I had said.
And I proved this at a Christmas party that we held last year,
when whisky started flowing and chased with full strength beer.
I was way above the limit but my car stayed off the road;
instead I took a bus home and I was still in drinking mode.
And sure as heck at Christmas time, a breath test station’s up ahead,
but coppers waved the bus through, what car drivers surely dread,
and I arrived home safely which surprised me quite a bit,
for I’d not drove a bus before and don’t know where I got it!
Copyright © Lindsay Laurie | Year Posted 2018
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