Long Ivan Poems

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Trumpet Call 2 Hide B4 Armageddon

if zee al chemist trump doth win go hide in the bunker 
to save your ass
brace yourself as this don holed 
confabulates that gold iz brass
and conjures prestidigitation 
like spinning false hoods in2 truth - crass
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     
a synonym force head fabricator - 
will threaten democracy, thus be afraid
as this pompous voice quotes 
from hiz playbook, which = a charade
the hard core truths, he 
(who i liken to the plague) doth evade
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     
and dreams up fault of Barack Obama 
for extinction of dinosaurs,
crucifixion of Jesus Christ
down fall of the Roman Empire, 
or far tethered Fred Flintsone ca fetching an escapade
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -  
yea...this rip pub lick'n presidential contender 
evinces a psyche that did brexit n got frayed
building and monopolizing castles in the sky - 
nonexistent as a grade
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     
school fib - or donning role 
as play ground bully teaming with ivan 
the terrible to dominate the greensward 
in the above fiction, but...man
that loose canon dressing his 
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -  
"make america great again" gag line - whar i ran
and mid eastern countries will rise 
as one cheering him as star of global hit parade
despite any raging oppositional pandaemonium 
birth er ring a conflagration
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -  
kenya believe the world acquiesces 
to thine projected masquerade
blocking im grate shunning crowds - 
which number of people rival in size  
taller (if stack one atop thee other) 
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -  
than the trump tower casino or high rise
with his signature - hm...mebbe funds provided 
by drug lords, the swedish house mafia 
or terrorist ties???
-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     
whom security details silence by tossing a hand grenade
sham on you Potemkin village people for quaffing draughts 
from elixir purportedly to transform visage with trademark 
swept back, wavy and coiffed hirsute.
Form:


Now Donald Trump Must Be Permanently Barred and Furloughed From Hoar Re: Whitehouse - Part Ii

DONALD TRUMP – RE: DUCKS --
this portion dashed off
(while dry ving an open white hearse slay
so many months back before
slated him slotted the most coveted
Casino biggest win - before the political imbroglio
much more upsetting than today
- - - - - - - - - -
Axe the old don
A trump peter n piper of incredulous hellish crud - be gone
With the ha air brushed pompous ****
so the Macy jackal hound doth run
After public outcry yelps
for his hide and proletarian discord won!
- - - - - - - - - -
Donald Duck Trump ™$ - a pompous ass
makes war with his big brass
knuckles and bucket of crass
maligns vis a vis character assassination with bro kin glass
inciting banal deathly hallowed expletives
toward lass sees – especially
Fox Television news anchorwoman Megyn Kelly
inducing said personality to bear the brunt of brutish mass
of vitriolic n vile insults from incriminating verbal pass
so…ex post facto viz mine NO VOTE from me
thus this digital screed to disallow him
to accept the oath of office, cuz he will hurrahs
from such a snooty arrogant simian with sass!
- - - - - - - - - -
I van a try to describe while sitting on me rump
How he oh bomb in lee rages with gnashing teeth
while back a slump
Blasting Democratic nomination as a sham –
From special interest bro and sis turn pump
He, the epitomy of crass bloviation, a malignant lump
Whose rants sans presidential outcome a sham rocking red bull
in a China shop with his millions beds this,
- - - - - - - - - -
That and another woman to bareback jump
Disseminating gene pool –
Obama null lee birthing more Quakers
and additionally doth hump
The mass media as some foolhardy charade
And caricature of a frazzled grump
This arboreal clothed ape
Erecting Taj Mahal phallic symbol where players dump
And gamble away hard earn cash
- - - - - - - - - -
For his hello kitty, as if that cachet to grind and bump
Lambasting with that maniacal leering pout
while hair rum runs rampant with red bulls
In a China shop atop his bulbous aerosol sprayed heady measly shaped
ulterior motive aimed his sights to become Pastor of Muppets
Dis eased cranial hologram
Of a cretaceous, facetious and insidious mump.
 
----------------------------------------------------------
 
By: Baron von Ivan Mal N. Ya.
Form: Narrative

Das Capital Tarnished Valentine

(alternately known as the Doubting Thomas Crown 
Taj Mahal Cupid Affair)
-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -   -  -  -
Fortunate (for me) thee bona fide "FAKE" Cupid
(aka Decoy Donald Duck
and side kickstarter Jay Rad,
colluded donning one alias,
which (former and latter)

amounted tube bing disguised incognito
as the cingular "Ivan Ha Bea Robber Baron),"
while same above placed
their System Of A Down on high alert
whereby, they unwittingly, fortunately, 
and accidentally discerned disquieting "noise"

i.e. static electronic crackling
purportedly from nemesis, asper sans above
whereby broadcasters colluded
confusingly, congruously, and convincingly
as thee infamous digital (duplicity)
faux "Big Mac" Trump.

The chalkboard scratching, hair sprayed bouffant,
and knuckle crackling
appeared tubby the handiwork cleverly disguised
(as tinpot dictator antics of Moscow's version,

sans Putin on the ritz),
which decrypted garble (a fluke) as iterated above
strongly emanating via polygamous,
prestigious, and pseudonymous
pull no punches ploy

innocently convincing feigned
duo code named "Ashley Madison and Bert"
disclosing (when uncovered),
a heartless conspiracy in concert

with Sesame Street studded lesser known Muppets
pretending tubby oil tycoon Bedouins
intent to fleece "sensitive"
top secret military defense contracts,

which Russian motley crue ace double agents
intended this act of espionage thence sabotage
feted as a Black Sabbath Lupercalia feint
not for the faint hearted clubby fete

where Cupid given free rule of the roost
allowing, enabling and proffering
Cyrillic chattering Cherubim

hook cooked United States "figurative goose"
lock, stock and barrel, which stratagem
captured president unawares
and did significantly boost

Eastern Bloc reconnaissance (on par
with the Philadelphia Eagles
winning 2018 Super Bowl LII
which surprise clenching championship
wrought frenzied hoopla, gala, and bacchanalia
where barenaked ladies 

cavorted nsync with beastie boys,
whence City of Brotherly love hoopla found
nearly every man, woman and child soused
(analogous to each person garnering
an early Sainted Patrick's pot of gold.

Some History

you like history here you go, a list of their history in short

740.    BC The Assyrians cursed them.

579.    BC The Babylonians fell asleep and remained for about 60 years.

70.      The Romans suppressed their rebellion and destroyed their temple.

135.    The Romans suppressed their rebellion and expelled them once and for 
           all.

626.    The start of their expulsion from the Arabian Peninsula.

1080.  Expulsion from France.

1098.  Expulsion from Czech Republic.

1113.  Expulsion from Kievan Rus (Vladimir Monomakh).
          Since.. Hoarseness of them in Kiev in 1113.

1147.  Expulsion from France (second time)
          Expulsion from Italy.

1188.  Expulsion from England.

1198.  Expulsion from England (Second Time).

1290.  Expulsion from England (Third Time).

1298. Expulsion from Switzerland (extermination of 100 of them by hanging).

1306. Expulsion from France (third time, hot. s 3000 of them alive)
         Expulsion from Hungary 1360.

1391. Expulsion from Spain.

1394. Expulsion from France (Fourth Time).

1407. Expulsion from Poland.

1492.  Expulsion from Spain (second time and passage of a law banning them 
          from entering the country forever).

1492.  Expulsion from Sicily.
          Expulsion from Lithuania and Kiev.
          Expulsion from Portugal.

1510.  Expulsion from England (Fourth Time).
          Expulsion from Portugal (second time).

1516.  A law in Sicily allows them to live in their own neighborhoods only.

1541.  Expulsion from Austria.
           Expulsion from Portugal (third time).
           A law in Rome allows them to live in ghettos only.
           Expulsion from Italy.
           Expulsion from Germany (Brandenburg).
           Expulsion from Novgorod (Ivan the Terrible).

1592.   Expulsion from France (Fifth Time).
           Expulsion from Switzerland (second time).
           Expulsion from Spain and Portugal (Philip IV) (Fourth time).

1660 .  Expulsion from Kiev (second time).

1701.   Complete expulsion from Switzerland (decree of Philip V).(Third time).

1806.   Napoleonic Alert. Padarja.

1828.   Expulsion from Kiev (third time).

1933.   Expulsion from Germany.
Form: Monoku

Militourism

They’re entering my place
And they will ask no question
I’ll understand through days
They took my world with action
Of thousands high-boots
Of coloures of the martial
The God won’t help they’re rude
And everybody’s marshal.
They step with bayonets 
They say they carry freedom
Their hearts are full of weeds
And only blood can feed’em.
There’s madness nothing more
In their eyes of bastards
Oh misers, but what for
Their freedom? They are masters.
There’s freedom in their hands
That goal of any soldier
The battle never ends
Give them Satrap – the Holder.
But I can’t understand
When you destroy all tyrants
Where will you send my friend
Your liberty with violence?

The snow will fall again
The faith will die tomorrow
Nero has brought the pain,
But Robespierre – the horror.
Ivan is not so bad
And terrible and risking
As Hitler with his herd
In Forty One, say, is he?
The Wise has said that we
Get knowledge in comparison
The fire runs you see
The tyrant fell, just listen
The Fatherland is cried
Hang cruel tyrant! Hit him!
Hey people see he’s dead
For better goal for freedom.
And soldier washed his hands
The page has turned it’s boring
The battle never end
Oh soldier where you’re going?
TV will give you fame
The Press will not be silent,
But who deserves this name
The name of cruel tyrant?


The One whose different ways
Are hard and complicated
Who gave us the sun rays
The stars these are so splendid.
Who doesn’t let to kill
So what if we have reason
Who’s making us to feel
To love in any season.
Let’s cast Him out from throne
His bondage of the tyrant
We’re lucky He has gone,
Of course, He was so silent.
I think we will destroy
His buildings to the ground
No words just shoot for joy
Rise flag we won this round.
We won we won again
The peace is reached forever
We have love of the gain
We have it we are clever.
The wounds are healed, the debt
Is paid we are just hit Him
Don’t ask me what is left? –
The tyrant naming Freedom!
Form: Lyric


Premium Member Ivan the Terrible and his son Ivan

“A famous work dating from 1885 by Russian realist painter Ilya Repin, Ivan the Terrible and his son Ivan. The painting depicts Ivan the Terrible mortally wounding his son Ivan in a fit of rage, and it is considered the most psychologically intense of Repin’s paintings -- an expression of the artist's revolt against violence and bloodshed, yet within the painting of oils on canvas, the eyes painted by Repin depict Horror, an intense feeling of fear, shock and disgust. 
However, it seems Violence begets violence because the painting was vandalized twice.”                         ~~ ALEXANDRA GUZEVA~~                                                                                                                                      

“Art is not always beautiful, but if it makes you feel something, it is art” 
                                            ~~The Poet~

Repin’s brush depicted actions that could only disharmonize.
Terror haunted the Tsar’s pain ridden eyes.
Ivan The Terrible’s eyes stare with remorse and panic.
Violent actions were frequent, his emotion was manic.
He and his son argued, in impulsive rage, father struck his son.
Father’s eyes silently scream “What have I done?” 
Tightly grips his son and tries to stop the bleeding with the other hand.
Blood streams from his son’s head, he regrets this, it is so unplanned. 
Ivan the Terrible’s spear, such a lethal weapon, lays on the ground. 
There is a pool of his son’s blood there too, spilled all around.
Ivan his son, his head reposed, has the face of a betrayed son.
He will die from the inflicted wound, he sheds a solitary tear, just one.  
He shows sadness and loathing of the deed that’s been done.
1st Tsar of Russia Ivan the Terrible administered many bloodthirsty deeds.   
Yet for slaying his own son, he regrets, a mistake as his son bleeds. 
He realizes his actions are irreversible. His eyes truly haunt when you scan 
Ilya Repin has done the impossible making us pity this merciless man.
Form: Ekphrasis

Premium Member A Remembered Day

Independence Day, July 4th,  had long been one of my favorite holidays.
Coming just three days before my birthday, I claimed it as part of
my personal celebration,

This particular July 4th started out in the usual happy tradition.
Our children were old enough to have their own exciting plans
and my husband Cliff and I were going to have a three day vacation 
by ourselves.

He was up first as was usual and brought a cup of coffee to me in bed,  
sitting beside me as we talked and finalized our plans. He teased me a bit 
about the gift he was planning for my birthday.

It was month end reports at my office and I had a few to finalize 
before I could feel free about taking time off.  I would be gone just 
a few hours and then the two of us would have a glorious three days by 
ourselves.  This was an uncommon and highly anticipated event.

I worked quickly and efficiently in the quiet of the office, until the 
annoying ring of the telephone.

Ivan, Cliff’s friend was on the line. 
“Cliff is in the hospital., come at once.”
“What happened?” I asked, knowing I didn’t want to know. 
“Just get up here.”  He sounded angry.

Randy, one of my fellow employees had stopped in at the office and hearing
my end of the conversation insisted he would drive me to the hospital.

Ivan met us at the front of the hospital and blurted out at my question, “He’s dead.”
Randy held me up as I started to fall.  A doctor was at my side as I listened to the story.
Cliff had picked up Ivan at his home and they were driving down the street of our little
 town, when without warning he dropped over in the seat.  Luckily Ivan was able to
stop the car so there had been no accident. 

My perfectly vital, never ill for a moment husband, had died from a massive heart attack.

The doctor gave me something to calm me as I called my children.
The rest of the day is vague but those first hours are engraved on my mind forever.

By: Joyce Johnson  won an 8th

Friendless

Friendless 




I noticed my address book,
So decided to take a look,

Starting at the beginning under A,
Everyone on this page has gone away,

Turning to the next page under B,
Totally blank no one here to see,

Must be someone under C to call,
No no one here to ring at all,

Perhaps more luck under D,
Ah Dan, no he's in prison he's not free,

Ok let's have a glance under E,
Don't know anyone here, someone's
Drawn a tree,

Might do better on next page under F,
Oh Fred at 88, nor he is tone deaf,

Let's see who's on the next, G page,
Gordon, last time I rang him, got in a rage,

Turn to letter H let's see who I see,
Hope and faith they've moved Tennessee,

Not giving up only at page under I,
Ivan, Ivan who, Ho yes he lives in a pig sty,

Quickly over to the next page J,
Vicar Father James, he'll make me pray,

Ok ok let's just go to page under K,
Ring Kev, unbelievable he died yesterday,

Not doing very well, up to page under L,
Lou better not ring him he's not been very well,

The page under M Is the next I come to,
Mother if I ring her the air would be blue,

I must know someone under the letter N,
one entry, Nettie, don't ring her again then,

Must be someone on page under O,
Someone's having a laugh, wrote H steptoe,

Page P next to peruse, fingers crossed,
Pete, it was his place I once dossed,

Q won't be anyone here that I know,
Quentin, he was the lad that didn't grow,

R, sure to find someone to ring under R,
Rob, he's the bloke that stole my car,

Beginning to worry, turn to page S,
Not one number, not one address,

Let's see what's under letter T,
Great check if your owed ppi for free,

This is sending me blue, what's under U,
Just my blinking ex, evil blinking sue,

Getting down now up to page V,
Violet, violet who, nothing to do with me,

Well this can't be true up to W,
Empty page nothing here to view,

No point looking in X Y Z,
Sod it I'm going to bloody bed.
© Roy Pett  Create an image from this poem.
Form: Couplet

Time and Tide Wait For No Man

Or Woman, Or Child, Or...

The following elucidated
     conjecture actually can
(reed best) be taken with a grain
     of salt, and no re ban
nah nah split 'ope ya 'ere me 
     cloud and lear, cuz (Oh my...
heavens to Betsy), ennui   
     got pulled by Evan -

Jewel Lean, who handed this long fellow
     (wads worth to you) 
     speculation with fan
see prestidigitation legerdemain - tan
ta mount to cheap tricks
     re: out of thin air
     by this half
     fast hue man,
Hill Billy Willy Wonka Nilly,

     who blithely doth asseverate
apothegm (poem title) equally applicable
     Century21 today Aswan
damn maxim initially
     bespoke, when collective
     primates begat enfant terrible
     foo fighting predetermining anon
     metastasizing debacle Yeti 

     bedeviling civilization
     a bajillion years in the future with
     Matthew Scott Harris deadpan
words worth less his way
     before even an odd iota
     of dire straight sultan
of swing didst merely span
spottily scattered amidst

     pristine Earth, where
     unchanging arboreal
beastie boys to oman,
and flock of sea gulls
     continuity elapsed – Ivan
hunch, albeit un
     recorded disc contented sow
     sow hogtied pan

dum mo' nee ham, or
     blessed historical events,
     kept (stay'n) alive,
     courtesy"FAKE" Trump
     petting Dapper Dan,
where he knit pattern,
     qua oral tradition, sans clan
destine scattered hot pockets

     of sparse *****sapiens,
     i.e. humanity LESS preponderant,
     primary, and/or prolific,
     where superstitions parlayed
     (voodoo with no Fran Schwa),
     and whirling dervishes fed elan,
which earliest recorded (doctored,
     digitized, and demented

     oh yea), not
     tomb mitt to dimly mentioned
     asper "time and tide
     wait for no man"
     purportedly by one
     Saint Marher, circa:
     1225 anno domini.

Nostalgia For Yesteryear of Boyhood

(alternately titled: whipping and pommel ling 
das soar addle brain) 

My most recent deuce score 
     plus three bajillion ban
an nah ram ma orbitz
 squared bob sponge pants 
     day of birth passed uneventfully –
     (round el sol) saw me dan
sing around one average star, which Evan
chilly wool worth hilly exhibit
 
     death throe tulle pan
dum mo' knee yum -
     becoming a black hole sun, 
     when photon illumination 
     totally tubularly blinks 
     out more'n Knots Lan
ding all countries 
     with exception of Japan

(if only for explicit purpose 
     of this poem) can
did lee stated fan
silly free and foot loose 
     to appease the ghost of Ivan
the Terrible, who would 
     phish she shuss lee 
     never fin hush his
 
     rage against the machine 
     foaming at the mouth
asper gar non sequitur 
     spoiler alert hint  
     aye made debut 13th of Jan) 
and now for no rhyme,
     nor reason mention 
     nothing (by the way)
 
     written thus far tan
gent shill to the square      
     of hide bound 
Halliburton Hippopotamus, 
     whose first name 
     Horton doth move in clan

destine fashion, oh...and nope 
     definitely not related 
     to ancestors of Kublai Khan
whose nickname Lloyd
though, whoa, wow, 
     and yikes quite a time span

'tween that Mongol 
     consigning, conning, and condemning
     “FAKE” deplorable trump 
     ping app Paul 
     ling Peters to Azkaban
nonetheless, aye never aver 
     witnessed no fanfare 
     for this common (c'mon) man

lettuce high tail gangnam style to San
Mateo (matt er factly 
     founded, settled, and 
     populated by Scottish 
     donning Harris tweed 

a hop, skip and jump by van
from this yan
key dude dull who lives ian
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

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