Das Capital Tarnished Valentine

(alternately known as the Doubting Thomas Crown Taj Mahal Cupid Affair) - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Fortunate (for me) thee bona fide "FAKE" Cupid (aka Decoy Donald Duck and side kickstarter Jay Rad, colluded donning one alias, which (former and latter) amounted tube bing disguised incognito as the cingular "Ivan Ha Bea Robber Baron)," while same above placed their System Of A Down on high alert whereby, they unwittingly, fortunately, and accidentally discerned disquieting "noise" i.e. static electronic crackling purportedly from nemesis, asper sans above whereby broadcasters colluded confusingly, congruously, and convincingly as thee infamous digital (duplicity) faux "Big Mac" Trump. The chalkboard scratching, hair sprayed bouffant, and knuckle crackling appeared tubby the handiwork cleverly disguised (as tinpot dictator antics of Moscow's version, sans Putin on the ritz), which decrypted garble (a fluke) as iterated above strongly emanating via polygamous, prestigious, and pseudonymous pull no punches ploy innocently convincing feigned duo code named "Ashley Madison and Bert" disclosing (when uncovered), a heartless conspiracy in concert with Sesame Street studded lesser known Muppets pretending tubby oil tycoon Bedouins intent to fleece "sensitive" top secret military defense contracts, which Russian motley crue ace double agents intended this act of espionage thence sabotage feted as a Black Sabbath Lupercalia feint not for the faint hearted clubby fete where Cupid given free rule of the roost allowing, enabling and proffering Cyrillic chattering Cherubim hook cooked United States "figurative goose" lock, stock and barrel, which stratagem captured president unawares and did significantly boost Eastern Bloc reconnaissance (on par with the Philadelphia Eagles winning 2018 Super Bowl LII which surprise clenching championship wrought frenzied hoopla, gala, and bacchanalia where barenaked ladies cavorted nsync with beastie boys, whence City of Brotherly love hoopla found nearly every man, woman and child soused (analogous to each person garnering an early Sainted Patrick's pot of gold.