Long Id est Poems

Fate decreed sexting/texting while married abominable

Therefore karma caught up to me big time
and delivered yours truly sent to purgatory
(figurative speaking) by casting a spell,
whereby the government issued Safelink
Tracfone got permanently disabled
and all the data
(including contact...

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Defecation accidentally clogged...

for the umpteenth time 
during spate to sit scrawny buttucks 
on porcelain throne id est 
videre licet toilet bowl...
with toxic water brew threatening
to overflow onto the floor,
and hence found yours truly (me)
immersing himself...

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Please help yarn hexed door neighbor...

Yours truly pinned down by invisible 
vestiges of coronavirus and
getting attacked from angry plague 
of buttons, plus huge spools of yarn
grossly mistook me for human sock 
to seal and line...

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A harrowing drive on the Schuylkill Expressway
(route 76) both heading into
(and a small number of hours later
exiting) center city Philadelphia
to Schwenksville on May 19th, 2024.

Yours truly (a doodling Yankee), and the missus
went to town, NOT...

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I got friggin heebie jeebies

Cuz buzzards circle o'er me
eyeing these lovely bones prithee
id est Roy L. T. Canard, Si
hence impossible mission 
to be lovey dove vee.

Vague remembrances of dream  
which recurred with frequency
transfixed by...

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Circa February 12th, 2122 ~ 10:30 PM

Equals twenty one thirty 22:30 military time
future time traveler looks back one century ago,
oceanic waterways overladen with green slime,
yours truly attempted crafting id est feeble rhyme
far from madding crowd,...

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Future time traveler looks back one century ago

The following poem tweaked 
courtesy original author who crafted
literary endeavor some couple years ago.

Now circa August 20th, 2122, 
or 1930 military time,
yours truly attempted 
drafting id est feeble...

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Brainstorming until figuratively blue in the gills...,
and finally gung-ho with a poem title
important to yours truly
not disappointing his Facebook fan base,
which electronic affirmation,
and confirmation, breeds gratification
analogous to being
the proud papa begetting offspring
progeny growing up at...

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Future time traveler looks back one century ago

I exhibit health and virility at one hundred and 
64 years astride planet earth, whereby spouse,
(who remained married to yours truly for about
one century – which elapsed in...

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Mein kampf analogous to one long run on unparsed sentence fragment

Heavily punctuated - hyphen
to embellish poetically
with bracing circumspection,
I markedly exclaim (parenthetically)
cumulative elapsed LXIII obits
around the nearest star
dashed by at lightspeed,
and quoting James Thurber
storied fiction titled
My...

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A (starry eyed) burst of creativity...

at approximately
a painfully early o'clock in the morning
give or take an o'clock
found yours truly (me) amassing
line after line of a poem
crazily coalescing courtesy
an extraordinary unfamiliar phenomena
while living social within alien...

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Scotch Tape Sweepstakes

The easy to handle
sticky sided material
made of a variety of materials, including
cellulose acetate, polypropylene,
PVC, and adhesive
(alluded to in the title)
applied in an innovative manner
allowing, enabling, and providing me
the means and ways to affix...

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Still stunned with disbelief...

that our apartment unit B44
received thumbs up
meaning that we passed
the grueling, and harrowing yearly inspection
three days ago - May 28th, 2024.

About a week prior,
when notification circulated
(validating horror about to befall us
as averred...

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I owe appreciative courtesy to alternative press...

for enlightening my senses
to the evocative, reciprocative
and suffocative
auditory and visual material
publicized in The Nation
magazine January 2025 issue
on page 59 about Macklemore
(his given birth name
Benjamin Hammond Haggerty)
an American rapper
composed protest...

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Destiny doth accompany, deliver, inveigle America...

Smartly, squarely, summarily into
pall bearing sized hands Helena Handbasket
adorned with Aconite (Monkshood) atop casket
signaling demise, née sealing freedom
(of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness) fate
with eternal bondage super glued gasket.

I...

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When does phenomenal moment of existence occur...?

Otherwise titled: Regaling eldest sibling
delineating her sixty third successful orbit
around the sun December first 2021.

About consciousness who can tell
After haploid gametes
able, eager, and ready
to yield eukaryotic (diploid) cell?

What triggers...

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If ye benevolent reader count yourself as a wise married man such as me...
(truer words never spoken nor written)
take my word and decline
and absolutely refuse to take masterly crafted bait
videre licet Facebook female
seeking to lure,...

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Unorthodox nonestablismentarian epitome

Describes celibate bent aegis.
Mein kampf illustrates gravitas.

Underdog muted lest intimidation
think bully brandishing fist in my face
threatening to buzzfeed me 
a brassy knuckle sandwich.

While breezily reading Judy Bloom,
(whose material geared
toward young adult)
book titled Blubber...

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Rigorous sphincter ani externus muscle workout

Amidst the rubble strewn landscape ruins
courtesy healthy helping of prunes
linkedin to derrière issuing
melodious flatulence classical tunes,
yours truly renown buttuck blaster,
possesses wide ranging repertoire
ofttimes employed
as poignant powerful score
within battlefield documentaries
trademark trumpeting...

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The howling winds of March

Furious gusts of air
mightily blow bestirring anchored poet
sitting comfortably numb
securely strapped in his hard to maneuver
easy bath chair
while all around him debris
strewn helter skelter everywhere
heavy objects unmoored
pirouetting topsy turvy

defying laws of...

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As a bouncing baby boy
syne of tragic travails in the offing tolled
courtesy analogous bell think Pavlov's employ;
yours truly me mama's apron strings rolled
secure around stubby fingers brought joy
created and garnered webbed wold
between she who helped...

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Book cause I spend an inordinate amount of time reading...

out loud.

As a hypothetical argument 
yours truly doth not aim
to be unfortunate recipient
of misguided, misjudged, and mislaid blame,
nevertheless I make dubious claim
and baldly recede (ha –...

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Circa April 17th, 2120, or 1820 military time,
yours truly attempted crafting id est feeble rhyme
far from madding crowd, nevertheless yet lovely
bones and flesh quite spry, still considered prime
(moost procreative, prodigious, and progressive)

stage, since (case ye...

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