Long Guano Poems

"Election Edition"  posted 1 Nov 2020
politicians:      like diapers, need frequent changing (for the same reason)

debates are like steer horns      a couple points with lots...

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"Holy Humor"    Posted 1 Mar 2021

if you need an ark to save two of each animal      i Noah guy

creating Eve was the first known example  ...

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"Give Me Your Tired"   posted 7 Jun 2021

i'd join the morning person's club     except their meetings start before noon

early to bed, early to rise     makes...

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***Crazy Menagerie***


I definitely bit off more than I could chew,
when I came a-running to my friend's rescue
He said it was no big deal, a real snooze actually
to just please, please look after his cutie menagerie

He...

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Points Above and Below the Line
(Enea Canonises Catherine of Siena)

It's not a thing we go for any more, 
that hierarchy malarkey, but in fact 
the medieval mind set mega store 
by stairs and ladders. All...

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Farewell, then, AUKN boss,
The next this year makes three.
By the time they find a substitute,
Slovenes will be at sea.

He tried to cover his behind;
AUKN boss of bosses,
As every week, balances grew bleak:
He weighed merits and...

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STOOL MATTERS--
O' crap, whatz wuzz that~!!
Oh, I stepped in and animal excrement, 
specially that of common domestic
 farm animals left in pasture used as fertilizer
Solid matter discharged alimentary canal
Protective covering

~

Excrement, especially that of common domestic...

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Lurking amongst shabby, impenetrable, undergrowth,
cloistered effigy is sheltered from casual view,
languishing, neglected, forgotten... but content.

No longer possessing a name; no longer serving a purpose;
whatever inscription once etched thereupon is
long-since faded, lost to the whimsical wisps...

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Adventures in the underground                 	              ...

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Well Everyone, My Arch Nemesis Sylvia Has Blocked Me, 
so I in return have done the same with she. 
As my good friend Amy said, "Let her wallow in her own guano." 
Now that makes...

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All words and wonder, wobbling copper green
Foam and guano floating 
In the sea cave’s lee
A flock of gannets raucous on a rocky pile
And the ever-growing echo as the men came by
Climbed from the boat 
And...

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AT THE DUNG DINERS’ CLUB-

Dung beetles them there beetles ;
That feed on feces;
 Some species of dung beetles;
Ooh! Yum just love that feces from all the species;

Can bury dung 250 times their own mass;
 In...

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11/22/16


Got to get that cheese pronto

Those that talked guano

Got hit with an uppercut combo

mano a mano


I had a dog named Bronco

And landlords named Helga and Poncho


Knew this lady that lived in a condo

And worked at...

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Antibacchic Meter

Deep cave, stalactites, stalagmites adorn thy black hollows where
flowstone with cave made gems lie like pearls placed by far sea oysters.
White colored calcite runs grace thy walls, limestone tubes yea show here.
You seem sphere...

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Earth is such a beautiful place,
a blue marble spinning in space.
It boasts stretches of ice and snow,
jungles, forests, mountains, grasslands,
oxbow rivers and burning sands.
Along with rain and winds that blow
it hosts glaciers, rivers of ice;
that...

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Reading fridge magnets; surprised how interesting,
the world is when stamped into rubber decals.

Rome, Ankara, both Buda and Pest.
Watching a colorful rolling diorama,
pictographs tumbling over a flat white-scape.
Images recalling airport loudspeakers,
beeping taxi cabs and swaying camels.

I...

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Go on break its heart, don't be shy, ask it why
was it said in that way and not another?
Or maybe why the hell you even said that anyway?
A poem enters a boxing ring
gets beaten up,...

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The brighter colors are the first to go
as everything first fades to shades of grey
then eventually, to black or white.

Valid reasons come down to yes or no
then questioning to whom it is I pray;
while saying...

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The Flies and the Bees

The sun has risen and set; another season has been resolved
and many acts of aggression that might never be absolved
No podium will be awarded for the deletion of kick the can
Unfortunately,...

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Come have some delicious guano dip the new neighbor said.
Inviting us to her lavish table, outside by the shed.
We were reluctant knowing what guano is.
Fluffy green dip was set up by chips and pop fizz.
It’s...

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Picked a hundred pounds of cotton
Five days a week
Picked a hundred pounds of cotton
In an old guano sack
Picked a hundred pounds of cotton
Till we heard glimmers speak
Picked a hundred pounds of cotton
To keep our leaning...

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In dark rock-cleft with guano splats,
There dangle many thousand bats.
A lowly worm evolves therein
And in bat flesh begins thriving.

Now man arrives for bats to eat,
For hungry poor, some tasty meat.
And so our worm transfers to...

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being number one
wiggles underneath the rock
a spade descends

being number two
hides behind the rock
a foot falls

being number three
lays on top of the flat rock
skin to stone

being number four
perches atop the rock
shells crack

being number six
flies over ...

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THE LEAF HAS FALLEN

From its highest beauty place,
The sunrise and the sunset, nothing was missing,
Light rains, warm airs, indeed there was no gales,
How did you fall?

From being cured,
The love and the joy, fighting not,
Time, space,...

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A penguin said to a grey seal
“ Trumps tariffs they cannot be real,
Cos there’s nowt here but poo
Turds pooped by me by you
He’s welcome to give THAT a feel”

Seal pondered then said, “That Trump guy
Is...

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