Long Funny life Poems

Oklahoma cowboy, tough coal miner’s son
Born in Henryetta, south of Tulsa some
Raised by daddy’s momma, taught him wrong from right
Daddy taught him ropin’, taught him how to fight
 
Herding made no money, its stock was...

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It is five minutes to two
I don’t know what to do
It looks like I'm the last person this evening before you close
But can I have another, and possibly a minute to expose
You must get this...

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Fifty years of bustin’ ass, I never had a dime,
If I had any balls at all, I’d’ve chose a life of crime;

I never owned a brand new truck, a flat TV or yacht,
I figured I...

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You asked,
“Daddy, where’d I come from?” in your cute and charming way
The time was early morning ‘bout 6 bells
Confused you looked at my reply I guess you had to bat an eye
When I turned and...

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I Choose My Friends So Carefully
by Caren Krutsinger & Rhona McFerran

Get back in your house,
I will stay in mine.
We won’t act like neighbors,
Everything will be fine.

I had given you chances,
Several actually,
Invited you to breakfast,
And had...

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I want romance. I want you and me to dance.
 I want pleasure, and we both want to build a legacy in society. Honestly, I want some lovely things. 
Honestly, I love my definition of...

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Always embarrassed, a little careless
My head was empty and quite hairless
I never really knew how to fit in
People would always be staring
Calling out rude names and daring
Me to try and show them some skin

But I...

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I was perched upon a wooden bench beneath a bottle tree 
when this worn out wiry ringer stopped to rest his gammy knee. 
I’d been touring through the outback and had sought to sit a...

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Modern Life
We are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week
Except Monday mornings and Sunday nights.
What are they on about, at this place that I seek
That is supposed open 24/7 days a week.

The pub...

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How do people do it?
For that matter, how do I pull it off?
Sitting in front of the computer for so many hours,
body compressed into a computer chair.
Feel a whole decade older than I actually am-
aching...

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“All their comings and their goings were so closely scrutinised 
as the prosecution’s trump card was the evidence they prized.  
Though the wily prosecutor gathered facts to build his case,  
some old bushmen...

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I hear their idle chatter and wish that sound was optional.
A box checked in a menu, a simple click and forget.

The rapid dilation of my pupils brings me back.
Back to hypnotic aisles of temptation and...

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I might be able to bring an end to all of the world’s turmoil and strife,
Because I think that I have stumbled upon the one true meaning of life.

It seems it all began a long...

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Suburban Spring	
(4.15.10)


	Springtime fills the air, 
			like laughing gas.
		(Or maybe more like whiskey.)
The suburbs are drunk on the nectar of it's dawn.
	Middle-class houses 
			are starting to dance.
		(Or maybe they're just wobbling.)
They vomit whole families onto their...

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So you think you know just how us cowboys should behave
But listening to your jawing, I hear Chisholm spinning in his grave
A Cowboy who don’t drink or cuss, I’ll tell you that’s not right
Ain’t you...

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Brutus was always bad
                      But what can you expect from a liasion
  ...

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This was a method employed,
By my last ex-wife,
Who enjoyed 16 years of 
torturing me,
The bane of my life...

See she sat and slept in
her recliner,
The power seat of the house,
And treated me,
Like an annoying mouse...
I was...

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The first time that I was serious
“I would be a good boy now”
My mom said “Non-sense! You never can
Go out and get yourself a sun-tan”

I left that idea for ever
My mom still repents for being...

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I studied cosmology for 4 years before I realized there was no mention of make-
up or hair styling.

I saw the movir "Superfly", and didn't understand why they never even showed a 
zipper!

I wanted Lasix surgery-...

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This summer was so crazy with a drought but still where mosquitoes multiplied.
And we’re leaving behind a hurricane that attacked the Midwest from all sides.
The crops were lost as months of over 100-degree temperatures, drove...

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                                  ...

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I'm lean, I'm mean, I'm tough as nails
Nothing could frighten me
I'm ready to defend my turf
as you can plainly see
Ju-Jitsu man, master of knife and sword,
Can shoot an eye out at a mile...
No fool would...

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Talk about embarrassment
You won’t believe how my day went
Joe and I went out to dine
Came back at a decent time
A storm had come – a storm had gone
Left every house with no lights on
We hadn’t...

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Friday rolls around 
I am too excited 
My pennies are saved 
My outfit’s sorted 
Bath and make up, done 
Ready for a big night out 

One problem 
It’s the afternoon 
Tick tock, 
Tick tock 
Hurry...

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Data Birth;
 INFILE 'C\Fathersperm\Motheregg\9_months\The_One_Of_Shadows.txt';
 INPUT FNAME = 'Yoni'
          LNAME = 'Dvorkis';
    Var Hidden_Meaning = "SAS code is not meant to be poetry you...

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