You Hit the Sauce and the Floor

(This is a fictional poem) You hit the sauce every night and you get drunk. When this happens, you turn into a punk. You become intoxicated and then you challenge people to fight. You think you can win but they always punch out your lights. A man beat you up when you pinched his wife's butt and I'd never seen so much blood. When you tried to fight my friend, I kicked your ### and threw you in some mud. As you laid in the mud, you started crying. If I said that you took it like a man, I'd be lying. When you get drunk, you stagger and you fight like a slug. You've spent so much time on the floor that you ought to be a rug.