Long Frenchmen Poems

Greetings to those who would willingly seek admission to theater of the absurd. Zoltan Goliath and Otis Trench are masters of the avant-garde genre silent musicals for the imaginary stage, an art form sui generis....

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Resistance On The Iberian Peninsula

“Liberté, égalité, fraternité (Liberty, Equality, Fraternity),”
Scream French revolutionists as they guillotine monarchists heads, 1
Then crown Napoleon Bonaparte Emperor of France, 2
Who commands the French forces in wars raged across Europe.

The Grande...

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“Die Another Day”


“Your mission, should you so deem it,
Is to infiltrate ALL Fluff Clusters in K.A.O.S. Headquarters
And bloody well steam it!”


“The Place is a hazardous mess of a trap
Over run with Double Agents, ulterior motives
Amorous...

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Eighteen hundred and three begins U.S. destinies.
Merriwether Lewis and his comrade, William Clark, agrees –
They will go forth, avoid Frenchmen, fighting growling grizzlies.
To find a water trade route that flows west to the Pacific seas.
Louis...

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The Student

As I strolled upon the green
and take in the breathtaking view of the front lawn
the onrush of winter geese take on the horizon, 
				waking me to my senses.

The silent roar of two lions guard...

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Today as we traveled from Michigan into Canada
across the twin cities of Salt Ste. Marie….
on the 300 miles of this journey…we learned a little more history….

The name Canada most likely came from the Huron-Iroquois word...

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The Other Battle of 1066
                              ...

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My favorite wild animal is 
as strong as Hulk Hogan
and eats fresh quail.


She is as strong as 
Chuck Norris, and Rocky,
and they fly faster than mail.


My favorite animal makes a 
hungry cheetah look unnaturally slow.


He...

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Monkey Hangers
(A little historical factoid from your Uncle Mike)

According to local folklore
In England, there at Hartlepool
A monkey was hanged from a yardarm
A monkey that wasn’t a ghoul
It happened way back in a war time
Napoleonic to...

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William the First was our last king to come uninvited
though invincible armadas have sometimes been sighted.

Foreign kings were imported in cases of doubt.
Native kings had the habit of getting thrown out.

In the War of the...

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The leaves were turning red and gold;
And frost was in the air.
When they rounded up the Acadians,
From Miquelon and Saint Pierre.

It was a time for groaning;
A cry from Cajun lips.
When they rounded up those Frenchmen;
And...

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(Now we hear from the murderess.  She explains 
that she killed Calmette because he published
love letters which she had written to her husband,
a minister in the government.  It is true that she
made her...

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I guess I will, have to admit
My english ain't that good
But thought I'd find a contest
To win one if I could

But when I started reading
The words found on 'That List'
I instantly realized
There's schooling that I've...

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'Tis said that the young girls of France
At the age of twelve lose their pants
To an handsome young knight
Well equipped for the fight
With a strong but flexible lance

Les Françaises are known to cavort
For sex is...

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Immigrants are very useful now
Roast a Turk  to  share with all your street
Eat a Greek and let the people squeak
A Viking flames the pudding with a bow

Try a German sausage  in the...

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