Long For what it Poems
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Have you ever been in love?
How to even answer that question
Those who have been in love look crazy to the ones who have not
Where you don't even know why you love the person your soul just won't stop thinking about
You try everything to get away from them, so you don't think about them
Because it's just too painful
Yet something appears and you can't help but to picture them
It sounds like an obsession
And you ask yourself are you sick
Why does this person mean so much to me
Especially when I mean so little to them
Does it ever go away
I hope so
I wish you could just detach yourself from what the soul wants
What it needs
Sure you can move on with your life and start over but memories just exist and you can't stop it when a memory just passes by
But walking through that pain is the best way to get through it
Honoring it for what it is
Not suppressing and coping
Easier said than done
At times I think some are addicted to that pain
How do you know if you are in love
Is it ones looks
Is it ones mind
Is it ones belongings
Is it ones title
Is it ones talents
Love has never been described accurately
Just descibed the best way that someone knew how to articulate and write
Many have spent lifetimes trying to explain love
Where others could just feel it in their souls
But that’s just it
Love is a undescrible phenomenon
It only has ever been able to be felt not explained
And if you dont know oneself you will never know
So I ask you
Is your soul awake
Is your heart open
Is your mind balanced enough to receive it when it shows
Love is suppose to recongize love, so I thought
But when you are hindered
When you are guarded
When you are scared
When you do not trust
When you don't know what unconditional love feels like
You will never be able to recognize love for what it is
And before you know it, if you aren't careful
It will just vanish
Disappear
Never to be seen again
Sure you will find a version of what you felt, from someone else
But will that version last
So many seperations, from those who thought they knew love
But they didn't even know themselves, so how could they know love
It will never quite feel the same
And ultimately you will be alone
Sometimes you will get a second chance
And sometimes you only get one
So, I ask you have you ever been in love?
Courage
Beyond the still of the night
The unsettling air remains a breath of calm
From eyes enclose, welcoming the blinded sight
What more be life shall offer to come?
Time always travel unseen
Days simply vanishes away
Voices chanting, did I remember my illusive dream?
Or is my life a weightless feather, ready to sway?
No visions to visualize still
Dreams engifted perhaps, bears certain to be forgotten
Though much too close, much too surreal
I shall believe not to the extent to fathom
And I awaited for the night to pass
The deepest of isolation I can only surrender to
Out of love, out of loneliness I’m to outcast
This moment to miss her and to remain still a fool
Studying the figure in the mirror
I’m no doubt torn with an unfounded courage I lack
Should I be in riddance of this endeavor?
Must one recover and practice no longer the false pretentious act
Unnaturally, silence seems to whisper about
The room is more sinister and darker even
There is a soft chanting yet becomingly loud
And fear is all, accompanying this moment’s instant
{Blackness paints what once was before
I could see nothing yet blinded not to all
Those hungry eyes, bloodshot and dancing playfully
Them who chant the verses, strange but beautifully
They were the voices of children who sang among
Till almost deathening when came was then a complete calm
It was a mere moment, yet a moment was enough
Green and haunting, a pair of poison iris onto me he cast
And he spoke his voice I can only vividly remember
It was the voice from my dream that had kept me in bewilderment wonder
Just before I might strain to see the mystery beyond
The enigmatic encounter simply chooses to diminish along}
With the blacken fog cleared
I stand once more within my room
Entranced and crucified by fear
Am I ever to obtain tranquility all too soon?
It can only feel too evil
It wasn’t how tranquility can venture deep
Was it a calling perhaps from a befallen angel?
An angel to only the devil might seek
Disturbing and much too unbecoming
When struck me further was that the language I understand
Not only was it not just simply a dream
For what it said from its tongue, I knew what it meant
“Fear is a fire…
to temper courage and resolve
Be it desire
to quench the thirst for one’s unfounded lost”
………………………………………….
Oh Mum:
Oh mum I’m so sorry I have to send this to you
You never wanted me to go, but I am not one of the few
Oh mum, remember when you kissed away my pain
I wish you could do that once more - yes again.
I’m so sorry mum on the day we did part
I remember your bravery even though I’d broken your heart.
The noise and the wet here and the terrible smell
I never believed your teachings of hell…
But I now know there is hell on earth
I’m here for a while for what it is worth
Remember when I had a stick for a gun
We played at war as children, it was such great fun.
I wanted to be a hero or soldier at best
A hero with a gun, and bullet proof chest…
You soothed and cajoled but I never did change
Oh mum how I wish this wasn’t so strange…
Remember when you wiped away my secret tears
I was angry you saw back then I had fears.
The rain is mingling mum, with tears running now
If only you could wipe them from me, someway, somehow.
The stench is overpowering the noise is intense
The bombs all around, dead men hung on razor-wire fence.
The death and destruction is all around
I’m floating and falling my thoughts do abound.
Oh mum, I wish I had listened to you
The glory I thought would be mine - and yours too
Be proud of me mum but I feel so helpless and small
I am not sure now- but I think I will fall.
I love you mum and I remember it well
The storms after dad died but you managed so well
You did a good job that’s what I like to think
You saw me through boyhood, manhood and drink.
I am here mum, I signed up I know I left you that day
I thought it would be fun like when I used to play
Here is death and destruction, and I don’t want you to read this
But I must say good-bye mum, your love I do miss.
The kisses you gave, you never did falter.
You watched over me, and I think I did alter...
I came to this war a man, I never realised the boy was still there mum
Today mum my last; I am your frightened little son.
My fears are now that without me, will you cope?
Without me mum - there is no false hope
I love you so much more everyday
But it’s time to say goodbye and I feel today is that day….
I wrote this after doing my family tree and found one of my great Uncles, the only one of thirteen siblings signed up and went to WWW1, not needing to do this as they were farmers. He died in the last week in France
©GG 18/07/2012
Beyond what’s said and be done,
Lies the hideous Black Sun,
Whose aim is to run a’ground,
To tear and destroy all around,
Plan in the years passed away,
Silent this Dragon appeared to stay,
But behind this stillness insidious lay,
When all were not bothered, they’d party and play,
This ‘Anti-Christ,’ a unity diabolic,
Worked against his foe that frolic,
Rumors spread but silenced all,
Tis’ Dragon’s besieged the saints that out-said,
What horrors run amidst this land!
The Truth has beld upon this sand,
And when it saw, it’s peril’s woe,
They plotted against their powerful foe,
Cowards! They couldn’t face the West,
Call a meeting, their devilish best,
‘What to do?’ They all did ask,
Endlessly thought! A diabolic task!
One stood up and said ‘I know,’
Send this enemy a cowardly ‘Sore,’
But first they test amongst themself,
Found a cure and hid it shelf,
Behest WHO to withhold so,
To spread this Bioweapon low as low,
After breakout, they cried a’foul,
‘Blame the West!’ this Dragon growled,
That Ignorant WHO, really need ask,
‘Who is WHO?,’ an investigative task!
Must be done, to further protect the West,
From this Dragon and its scum-behest,
All are hostage to this Marxist-Mao,
Rise up O’Hong Kong, do not bow,
Show the world how wrong they are,
About this Dragon and its reach afar,
It must be said, that once this done,
The Dragon stretched its arms a’help,
Confused the Cause and its Spread?
After all, ‘Who can contend against it?’ it said,
But Wisdom sees this trick a’play,
It does not give in all the way,
But I urge cut all the ties,
Till it starves, burns and dries,
Rise up and hold siege this accursed beast,
I implore you O’Saint Michael put a leash,
Hurdle it to the bottom-less pit,
Where in torment and pain its sit,
For what it has done from past be seen,
Only blood shed wherever it’s been,
Crushed its head already be,
Satan lies defeated under ‘Our Lady,’
Don’t be afraid my people of West,
Rise up and confront this Beast that thinks its best,
I assure you that, its tail it will tuck and run,
When it sees your Armies come,
And on that day China will know,
With the west, don’t play tick-tack-toe,
All your intimidation is useless O’Chin,
You will be defeated; this War the West will surely win!
Mao’s China must fall!
To Have Once Kissed The Monster Of Sorrows And Burning Death
I slow-walked hot desert sands,
cacti begging to stick my naked feet
volcano sun searing my white-faced skin
why, why has blindness sent me into this inferno
to wander its scorching earth, its mind blasting rays.
Shall I perish and become those white bones I've seen
just another beast that ate glassy sand
a dying soul, weeping for denied love, for lost love
a dying heart jagged in its loneliness
in its unfathomable emptiness,
hollow moans escaping parched lips
dried cries, showering hurt's coldest depths
with spittle from a cavern of pain.
Night winds seep into this body and its brief respite
no relief from broken thoughts
she that once had loved me the best
now as gone as, sweetest of hope once cherished so.
Has not, punishment been unduly gifted,
burned alive for a single unfaithful touch of lips
she that vexed me, ate my lust and gave this my due
now sings to me in my dying breath,
her true form now shown,
hideous in its ghastly armor,
its claws sharp as razors
its fangs glowing in crimson hues
only now does light reveal what lust had deceived
a monster birthed to bring only destruction.
I feel the sun, its rays warm my newfound white,
lizards hide under under my new bony white gleam
lighter now with flesh eaten and rotted away,
a ghost, staring blindly at that accursed fireball above
and in deepest of woes, in saddest of thoughts
curse the woeful day I first betrayed Love
to kiss that monster of sorrows and burning death.
Robert Lindley, 10-20-2018
Free Verse, Dark Verse, (A Dying Desert Stroll)
Note: Woke at about 3 am , dying of thirst. Went to
the fridge and got cold water to drink. Wide awake,
I decided to read some of my old poetry. One sad poem
gave rise to my sitting down and writing this, a dark
tale of lost love, punishment for a weakened kiss given
to a monster deceiving in appearance and later, too late
finally seen for what it was.
A tale that has had befallen many a young man-- when a
sexy vixen set fang and claw in, to led astray those
in a weak moment of temptation yield to its deceiving beauty.
This inspired by an old poem written in 1975, and the Halloween
decorations in my neighbors yards..
One December Night
Susan, Joy, Marsha, and Pam crawled out of their beds to eat bacon and ham.
Their parents were sleeping. They snored while the slept. The children tiptoed to the very
top step. The staircase was chilly. And it creaked while they crept. Downward they were
slinking, step by step.
Their puppy was resting on the fireplace hearth. They sat down beside him for what it
was worth. They sat on the floor. They did not use a chair. And while they were sitting,
Marsha hugged her pink bear. They made funny faces and started to laugh. They giggled
and squiggled and chuckled so fast that all of the elves in earshot were aghast.
Then all of a sudden, they heard something loud. It wasn't a trumpet, a flute or
bassoon. “I know what it is! …A kazoo!!” shouted Sue.
They looked all around to locate the sound. But, look as they might, it could not be
found. They looked in the kitchen and under the couch. Pam bumped her red head and
loudly said, “Ouch!” Who played that kazoo? They all wanted to know. So, they scampered
around by the fireplace glow.
The dog started barking. And bark loudly he did. That's when it happened. Beneath the
windowsill Sue slid. A great big toad outside, on that hill, in the cold wet snow, stood up
suddenly. Then, quickly down he did go. Frightened, freezing, and carrying a load. He slid
off of the log and went a-rolling downhill in the snow.
The children began jumping and squealing with delight. Oh, what a sight to see at mid-
night. The old toad was sliding with stocking feet in the air. Behind him, downhill, slid his
sack with a flare. About all that sliding he did not seem to care. Out there on the lawn in
rare southern snow, up and down Roller Coaster hill he did go! Faster and faster, he was
sliding with time. His suit became wet and covered with grime. Where was he going? Who
would they tell? At about that time, they heard the doorbell.
(To be continued...)
© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
December 5, 2009
Inspired by:
Poetrysoup member's Contest Anything Goes!
Sponsored by: Constance La France (I took you at your word... It's a LONG story.)
Proliferation the wonder of it all
from a tiny seed becomes a tree tall
pollen from stamen floats on winds call
DNA puzzles do many enthrall
Written instruction for what it becomes
answers to life’s perplexing problems
a manual so tiny naked eye cannot see
engineering so fine progresses what is to be
Stored information that’s dynamic in action
investigation that understands just a fraction
plants that convert light into sugar
directions malfunction converted to injure
So much of language we don’t understand
and deny designer on length of it’s strand
like God we conceive with plans and action
to science becomes a single mans passion
We draw and layout a similar pattern
imitation configured by nature so learn
skill of arrangement and execution
who would replace design with evolution
We ourselves imitate all creation
by things produced in every nation
like God we delight to work something new
to admit being like God are those of us few
Why do so many have difficult time
that like our Father have creative mind
able to produce from imaginative skill
beauty and pleasure which in our souls thrill
Everything speaks of brilliant design
it’s language to the specifics define
communication of action individual speech
in every molecule order does teach
Expressions of Love in all that’s created
conditions within the things investigated
intelligence for foolishness many have traded
and thirst for learning becomes castigated
We comprehend not the speech of our tongue
or the effects upon whom it belong
direction of growth all order is spoken
connection with Father has become broken
Genetics embody progression of growth
contains language and communication both
from within does come outward advance
to intricate to have arrived by chance
In all of nature instruction is written
the Bible a book of directions submission
to understand Love and how we should live
and what is hidden within his missive
Jehovah to earth sent his only begotten
with his sacrifice might our hearts soften
so we might have our freedom of speech
to understand the heights that we may reach
COPYRIGHT © 2009 C Michael Miller
via Duboff Law Group LLC?
When a man chooses to want
Only a smile can get a sparkle in his heart
But the man’s heart in not in his chest
Because you see, the heart is in the mind to think
And the mind is in the heart to feel,
Flawless control in a duet starts to roll.
From a sparkle in his heart becomes a fire in his mind
And a fire in his mind leaves the heart in it needs
For what it wants is a bigger fire for it then you can feel.
It is the heart who had betrayed us in the beginning of this journey,
Of swimming through life with the illusion of control
In need of feel and in feel on need
In need of food and in need of shelter
In need of power and in need of control
All just in the name of the hearts dream,
A crude dream that will conquer us all.
First we must let our-self ignite
Because in our-self's is the mind in his control
Because everything is a reflection of a reflection
Our consciousness is in our thoughts, only for ourselves to know
That's the law of universe in the things that roll
From small to big in a spiral cone,
From the two particles in perfect motion,
That forms the motion of it all
- gravity !
A star is born from its spiral core
So you and I can see
A sun to us and a sun to the galaxy
But a father of this planet and life on it to be
Cause you see our planet in reality is another sun yet to be
In a cause in which we all grow one day to see
Experiencing the journey of the universe in which we see
All things ever created and ever to be
Because at its end end
we are all the same and equal in every way
One movement in a cloud of dreams
One thought, one mind, one body
One final duet for the universe to sing
A mind of itself at everything that is and it can be
At the end we will all see
What the universe really is and what it can be
Only then
A true god will be born that we all take part in feel
Only at the end of the end is all the same
When the fire from the heart is gone
Only then the creation had began
Again from the start of everything and back here
To the planet earth that holds life on its own
In a bigger spiral of the galactic core
It's all a duet of balancing the hole
because the hole is itself the balance of it all
You look back at your life
Wishing you had more to show
Wishing you had done more
You find yourself periodically saying
That you've always wanted to do this and that
But never had the time, never took the time
You have these unfinished dreams....
They remained only dreams
Dreams that only grew brighter with years
But became duller with time
Until they faded away all together
You grow old wondering what stopped you
What you could've done different
Maybe you would have enjoyed life for what it was
Did you have someone to share it with
Would that have even mattered
Maybe if you chose the path less chosen
Maybe if you took a stand
Would you be wondering of the life you led
Could've been so much more
If you only did instead of just wanted
If you made it happen instead of pining after
Would you still have these regrets
Walls seem to close in around me
As the truth is finally revealed
And I find myself many years older
Reflecting back on my life
Realizing I have nothing to show for it
Realizing I have no clue who I am
Maybe I am who someone made
Like a doll off a factory line
Someone else's design
Asking myself a thousand questions
Why did I settle
why did I give up
Why did I give in
Why did I lose hope
Why did I lose love
Why didn't I live
Why didn't I speak up
And I realize I'll end up stuck
Never able to be truly happy
Was it all worth this life I led
I had dug a ever-growing grave
and one by one, piece by piece
I threw a little of myself inside
Down into the deep cold darkness
Hard to have hope of what could be
If there's no support or encouragement
Once satisfied with the pieces left behind
I started to fill it up with damp dirt
Out of sight out of mind
No more longing of what could've been
All that is left is a mere marker that reads
Here lies what meant the most to her
And this hits me with such force
Can't believe this has gone on so long
Why didn't I see it all before
Was I really so blind to it all
Did I really sacrifice so much
To make others happy and satisfied
And for what do I have to show
Nothing but a hole starting to fill
I won't be looking back down the road
Wishing I had stayed true to myself
Sometimes people and things enter our lives and appear to be everything we want and all
that we’ve been longing for… Sometimes those very people and things are only meant to be
in our lives for only but a season… We create these “ideas,” develop emotions, before
knowing for sure what we have encountered; we find ourselves entangled in the “idea” of
what and how we would like for things to be. Before long, we look up and realize we’re left
with nothing but a bunch of trumped up emotions and a truckload of disappointment.
Sometimes we just need to be brutally honest with ourselves and expose the truth for what it
really is…
Overwhelmed by emotions rushing through like a whirlwind,
How did this connection end before it even had a chance to begin?
It all seemed to be perfect; almost too good to be true,
Without me speaking a word, you seemed to know just what to do.
Glancing in the rearview, holding on to what I’d hoped would come to be,
I must release, disengage, extract, untangle these emotions and quickly get back to doing
me…
Not an easy thing to do but necessary nonetheless and although I desire more-
I must get a grip, pack up these emotions and politely escort them to the door.
I refuse to allow myself to be taken out by someone else’s storm.
Maybe there’s a reason things appeared to be everything outside the norm…
Although this may appear to be tumultuous and impossible to deal,
I must see this for what it is and separate this “idea” from what is real.
Distracted by this diversion, unsure and anxious of what possibly lies ahead,
I must be patient with life and focus on what’s my reality instead…
Instead of creating these ideas based on what and how I’d like for things to be,
I must be still, search God’s word, and allow Him to elevate and position me to receive.
To receive the extraordinary things He has prepared for me alone,
An abundant future filled with peace, hope, true love, an existence second to none.
Although the possibility remains for something to exist between you and I,
I’ll just keep it moving for now, accept my reality, stand on the shore and wave to you
goodbye.
Poetic Love 10/19/10
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