Long End of my rope Poems
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An Old Warrior
This old man, sward in hand, takes a stand
against the Provincial, the Municipal man.
The power hungry, with all the appropriate tools,
who treats us, his constituents, his voters as fools.
Our voices are stilled, silenced by political oratory
as they convince us of the sincerity of their story.
They operate, under the radar, with impunity
whether they are innocent or they be guilty.
This old man, sward in hand, takes a stand
against the Provincial, the Municipal man.
I think that I have reached the end of my rope
as I battle with the powers that be, without hope.
Three years, ten years without satisfaction,
not the courtesy of a response, nor reaction.
Ignore, and eventually I will simply go away.
This is the game they both choose to play.
The powers that be will always get their way.
For us old warriors, not much left, but to pray
B. J. “A ” 2
April 25th, 2021
Sitting here
Sitting there
Dealing with the crazy.
My mind grows hazy.
Fighting fire
Desire.
Writing down a happy thought
So long have I fought.
Trying not to drown.
Life can bring you down.
Showing only love when I feel the hate.
In life I feel I'm too late.
Sometimes I feel like crying.
Dying.
To say I want to go on would be lying.
My crazy mind
Gets me left behind.
Lost in a world of my own making.
Chances I'm taking.
Inside a tear may fall
I smile when I'm backed into a wall
The tear falls unseen cause They only see the smile.
All the while.
Nothing is true
Nothing I can do.
To bad.
So sad.
Does it even matter
Being the hatter.
I write of peace, love, and hope.
While at the end of my rope
A slippery slope.
When I can't take no more.
A knee on the floor.
A tear may fall.
But remember, I smile when my backs against the wall.
I reach out.
I don't shout.
Tis the season.
I search for a reason.
Why.
I shouldn't die.
A happy thought.
For this I fought.
Pull myself up straight.
Get myself past the hate.
Change my fate.
Tomorrow.
Maybe I'll find my land of no sorrow.
I know this is the only way.
I just got to make it through today.
A smile hides the silent tear.
Love buries your fear.
But the pain is always near.
Dry the eyes..
Such blue skies
Made it past
At last
The battle no one will ever know
The smile won't let the pain show.
Ready or not, here I go.
(09/22/11)
I see now that I can no longer cope
I finally reached the end of my rope.
All my life I’ve been the provider
Now I feel like I’m the outsider.
Looking in To the way life used to be
When I was happy and care free.
Now I am under so much stress
I think it’s time- that I rest.
I’ve always been the one to talk
About love, hope, and faith
Now I can no longer relate.
What makes us get to a point so low
That you have no where s to go.
When the apostles were crossing the lake
And the winds and rains came and they were sinking
They awoke JESUS saying
Master, master, - we are sinking.
Then JESUS calmed the waters and
the winds , and the rains
They just stood in wonder and felt so ashamed.
As he asked : where is your faith?
Now I stand here - ashamed of all my fears
For he is by my side to wipe away my tears.
My faith has always been my foundation
My heart , my soul ,my inspiration.
Now I am growing weak
And the lords strength I do seek.
Without faith - all hope is gone
But the strength of your love lingers on.
So here I apply all that you’ve given
Because you make life worth living.
This is it
I give up
I throw in the towel
I draw the curtains
I pull down the shades
I close the doors shut
Finito
The end;
No more haggling
No more beseeching
No more whining
No more whimpering
I'll call it a day,
Saddle sore
I am heading home
I am out of the race -
Get me off the grid.
World-weary,
Timeworn,
I am done.
Flat-lined
I am pulling the plugs;
I ran the gauntlet
Kaput
Stop the earth
I am getting off -
Sayonara!
I am just circling the drain -
Get me off this hamster wheel,
I am at the end of my tether,
I have just about seen
the last of the sunsets,
No more sunrises for me,
I am sitting fallow,
I am at the end of my rope
I am teetering on the precipice
I am hanging by the skin of my teeth
I am dying on the vine
I am ready to kick the bucket -
Uh...can someone
bring me a bucket please!
The truth of reality haunts my soul,
lamenting the innocence childhood stole.
A heart that's never experienced love;
always feels empty, never wholly whole.
I found no love on the wings of a dove;
push inevitably turned into shove.
And yet, normality included hope,
and my willingness to partake thereof.
Faced with the fact that I can barely cope,
I'm left dangling at the end of my rope.
And, frustrated with an absentee God,
faith starts sliding down a slippery slope.
The fact my father never spared the rod;
meant unconditional love was a fraud.
And an incompleteness shadows my dreams,
retracing the steps I've already trod.
My upbringing was harsher than it seems,
confronting my demons with silent screams.
And a fractured future born of the past;
forms a collage of life's lows and extremes.
Hope's magic has become too weak to cast,
Exhausted, its power has degraded fast.
Lonely and unloved, I await life's end,
Praying that in death, I'll find love at last.
Change is never the same
But to change is always the same
I've been down broken roads
Crossed corriod seas
Come to the end of my rope and turned around to make a knot to make sure it goes on
But the thoughts in my head seem so confusing
The direction my life is leaning me towards
Is filled with so many questions
A dream here and dream there and two kids to boot makes me believe life will always be the same
All you need Is love is claimed but to give your kids a chance to live makes a foundation shake
I've built no wealth no nest egg you see
All I get is cracked eggs and jaded edges that cut me down
I want my children to see I am not the failure the reflection sees
But the way Utah continues to grow the faster my pockets fill with lent and unclaimed dream particulars
Is change an answer or is the same the best resolution
So unsure so fearful
All I do is write letters to myself which I call poetic thoughts
But there is no poetry in motion for me
Only clouded thoughts and insufficient means
Where is the solution in an endless sentence I write about my life.
A windy blow
uphill all the way
dog running ahead
we are going somewhere
we are going to the edge
to the edge of a steepness
Climb dog climb
we are both pulling at a leash
mine is long and inelastic
dog has a bone in her soul
she won't let it go
I got a rope for my life
in case that life gets stuck
on a ledge
or in case it doesn't
Blow wind blow
my darling is dead
the howl in my head
keeps me doggedly panting
Dog looks back
deep brown eyes
wide
the dead
see the top of every climb
see beyond
She is a ghost in my mind
dog will go no further
she sees the yonder
her concerned bark
a warning
about the rope
the end of my rope
Defeated as I stand on the shores of my voided mind.
Lost in the dark depths of this darkness, light impossible to find.
Picking up the pieces, I can no longer keep myself composed.
Cursed, it seems all good has always been opposed.
I’m nothing but barren, misbegotten.
Abhorrent behavior caused me to be forgotten.
Left alone to suffer, my fate is inconsequential.
Doom looming over, this crisis is now existential.
Dead I stand with no will to grow.
Behind my mask, the truth I won’t show.
I’ve grown numb, again I’m reeling.
Spiraling rapidly, eviscerate all feeling.
Memories eradicated.
Wretchedness allocated.
Fuel to ignite a lifetime of despair.
Contorted visions love to torment and scare.
Weighing me down, this unbearable gravity.
An eidolon, I’ve succumbed to insanity.
Rage festering within, battling with my own mortality.
Deranged thoughts begin, diminishing my mentality.
Spiraling down to my end of my rope, life is dissolving.
Lost all essence of hope, the abhorrence is absolving.
Manifesting my own demise.
I’ve become everything I despise.
Walking through life with no hope, no faith.
Walking through life, all I am is a wraith.
A ghoul, walking with nothing left to lose.
Living a life that is the definition of a ruse.
Author Dana Redricks
November 28, 2024
(Verse 1)
God keeps blessing me once more, this I know for sure. Every time I look around, He's opening another door. I've seen Him bring me through, so many times before. When I was broken and lost, He made me whole once more.
(Pre-Chorus)
When the night was dark, and I couldn't find my way, He turned my darkness into the brightness of the day. Time and time again, His love keeps shining through, God's been so good to me, His promises are true.
(Chorus)
Once more, God keeps opening up another door. Keep your head up, don't give up, His love's for sure. When shadows fall and the light seems far away, Just know that Yahweh, He will make a way.
(Verse 2)
There were times I felt like giving up, but He saved me. At the end of my rope, His grace came to carry me. God opened my eyes, now I can finally see, He freed me from my pain, my chains, my misery.
(Pre-Chorus)
When the weight was heavy, and the road was rough, His strength lifted me, and His peace was enough. He's my constant hope, my shelter from the storm, God's love surrounds me and keeps my heart warm.
(Chorus)
Once more, God keeps opening up another door. Keep your head up, don't give up, His love's for sure. When shadows fall and the light seems far away, Just know that Yahweh, He will make a way.
(Bridge)
He'll wipe away your tears, calm all your fears. Hold on to His hand; He'll lead you through the years.
When the world feels cold, and you're tired of the fight, Yahweh will step in, and make everything alright.
(Chorus)
Once more, God keeps opening up another door. Keep your head up, don't give up, His love's for sure. When shadows fall and the light seems far away, Just know that Yahweh, He will make a way.
(Outro)
Yahweh, Yahweh, He keeps opening doors once more, once more. Don't give up, don't give up, keep your head up, oh, oh.
Once more, God keeps blessing me, that's for sure. Yahweh will make a way, once more, once more.
I rode my bike down Omen Road,
Knew they'd be after me, I'd reap what I sowed.
Crossed into Jersey, saw a dead bird ahead—
I prefer voices, I get symbols instead
In a pullout was a convertible with a man inside
He drew his finger across his nose, didn't approve this ride
By Greenwood Lake I smelled perfume as I climbed up the slope
I was tensing up, I was reaching the end of my rope
Heard two sarcastic guys in a parking lot
They could be talking about me, I hoped they were not
Should I keep on my course to Port Jervis Hotel?
Should I cut my trip short, heed the tolling bell?
(chorus)
For whom does the bell toll? Could it be me?
Should I surrender my rights in the land of the free?
It’s a grim kind of fate, riding this road,
Where even roadkill is a phrase in a code.
I cut through Warwick, a town old and serene
What I would encounter, who could have foreseen?
Passed a dead skunk on the road, who put it there?
Was I being paranoid, my accusation unfair?
Kept on a few miles, another dead skunk
I pinched myself, could I be drunk?
Reached a platform, but no train in the station,
Asked a bitter woman where I could find accomodation.
She sent me south, just a mile or two,
But the motel was nowhere, her directions untrue.
I asked a local man to search his cell phone
He found an old B and B that was not well known
The owners said I could stay, though it wasn't summer yet
This was an unexpected rescue, I felt in their debt
Next morning on the road, I ran into a dead fox
Does it pay to be clever, to think out of the box?
There’s a law of revenge, a law of crime,
Their justice isn’t yours, nor is it mine.
They were crusaders, but afraid of exposure
I knew too much, there could never be closure.
Got to the Hudson, got on the train
No way to tell this story, all would think it insane
How can I go against sanity's flow?
When the mundane is an omen, what can I show?
If it can be explained away, it stays unknown
And the startled realization stays alone.