Mizuki Ashiya Poet Free verse

The weight you left

I tried to love
But you left me bleeding
Cracked dreams and love receding
Will I ever try again 
Or will I give up and let it end


Just let it out
I'll listen

Our love grows like water
But we let it sink, and let it glisten


Tell me where we went wrong
Every I love you was forced
But don't worry about it all


Evening scars and a blade
I can only erase mistakes I've made 
Watching as your figure fades
But me, I am a mistake


Think of our love as a race
Keeping our love at a pace
But all I need to do is vent


Last year alone I had 30 attempts
Get a gun to my head so that I get exempt 
From suffering a heartbreak
Suffering a loss


I'm scared to lose you, who I hold close
Gave me fake love until I overdosed
Our love was made of material things
Gave me pain until my head rings


But its fine until


I reach in my pocket for the thing I keep tucked
BANG! 
Now I can end the pain
Gun to my head
mix my blood with the rain
Eyes turned black from the pain I cant contain
Slit my throat its all the same
Cut my wrist, no you dont know my name
I cant take it so I 

Take pills to numb the pain
Slit my wrist to make me tame
Cut my throat its all the same
Rope and a chair for feelings I cant contain


I tried to love
You left me bare
I decided to use a bullet to the brain
To send a final prayer


To those I love
I'm sorry I'm leaving
Hang myself on the clouds above


Is love real
Or was it fake
Told me I was a steal
You lying snake
I tried and put everything at stake
But you robbed me of it all

I want to die but I cant see where
I want to live but I cant end the pain
Tell me why I hide
Tell me how to die


Under a tree to hide from the rain
Hide in my thoughts to escape the pain
Hide in my friends to keep me sane
Cower in my house to stay in my lane

I tried
I died
I lost it all


I cried as you dug my grave
I smiled as you hid my pain
But it all was a lie
You told me to die
You said for me to commit suicide
So I tried


I disappeared into the vast emptiness of your heart
I became a forgotten name
Like a moth to a vanishing flame
But I never recovered
Dragging my body
Wherever is tame

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