Andrea Dietrich Poet Lyric

Notes About The Poem

For Crystol Woods' Christmas Song Parodies Poetry Contest

Here is the tune of the first song I parodied called "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas. I taught my students a simple choreography for us to sing and dance with the song from Dec. 16, 2019. Hope the link stays up. Often my FB links eventually disappear: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/W2Pe3ZUQahzn8QFR/

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Christmas Song Parodies

Let’s Eat Something New This Christmas
(Parody of Have a Holly Jolly Christmas)

I can make some spicy tacos
better than the ones down south.
Please though know to eat them slow
or they may burn your mouth.

Try my sauciest lasagna 
better than a Christmas ham.
Cheese galore – I like that more
than even roasted lamb.

Some get hung up on foods
so traditional.
My foods you cannot call
repetitional.

For dessert, there’s tiramisu.
I’m so sick of pumpkin pie.
Cookies crumble
so I grumble: why not new foods to try?

Christmas Balls,
(Parody of Jingle Bells)

Christmas balls, Christmas balls on my Christmas tree.
I’ve got a cat that’s such a rat beneath the tree he’ll pee -ee.

Christmas balls, Christmas balls, flying through the air.
When both cats get hold of them, they scatter everywhere.

One night I took a pause because I’d heard a crash.
Hoped it might be Claus bringing me some cash.
I saw my big dog’s face. She looked up guiltily.
To those darn cats she’d given chase destroying our tree! Oh!

Repeat refrain: 
Christmas balls, Christmas balls on my Christmas tree.
I’ve got a cat that’s such a rat beneath the tree he’ll pee -ee.

Christmas balls, Christmas balls, flying through the air.
When both cats get hold of them, they scatter everywhere.

Two oldies:

I Heard Mother (to tune of "I Saw Mother Kissing Santa Clause") 

 I heard Mother scolding Santa's elf
 As I prowled the house on Christmas Eve.
 He'd hid in St. Nick's sleigh And then sneaked out to play 
After having waited for his boss to fly away. 
Mother caught him gobbling all our snacks 
After he tore open every gift. 
Oh, when she glared down at his face, 
He went scrambling from our place 
Screaming, "Santa, stop the sleigh-
 I need a lift!"

New Body
Parody of the Xmas Song: White Christmas 

 I'm dreaming of a new body 
with every chocolate I unwrap. 
But I can't stop eating, I can't stop cheating. 
 There's just too many Christmas snacks. 
My nightmare is a pot belly -with every Christmas treat I take.
 But I can't stop feasting, my size increasing; 
when I stand on the scales they'll break.
 Yes, I'm dreaming of a trim waistline,
so take that Chex mix from my face. 
May my buns be smaller and flat, 
 and may all my body lose its fat!

(I no longer make Chex Mix. It’s just too tempting)

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David Crandall January 3, 2025 at 6:14 PM Great parodies! I especially liked and agree with your first one. lasagna and tiramisu - a perfect Christmas combo, and the last one. I'm still coming down from my New Year's Eve eating debacle. Andrea Dietrich January 3, 2025 at 7:10 PM Thanks, David. I am a big foodie!

Crystol Woods January 3, 2025 at 5:34 PM Heehee! Hi! It's you! I'm so glad you entered and came up with these hilarious parodies! I giggled all the way through! Ty for joining the fun! Xoxo Andrea Dietrich January 3, 2025 at 7:09 PM Thanks so much. I love this kind of stuff

Evelyn Judy Buehler December 27, 2024 at 4:01 PM I enjoyed these fun parodies, Andrea. Thank you for sharing. :D

Joanna Daniel December 18, 2024 at 3:43 AM Wow! You nailed them:) I can't even think of a single parody, and you wrote 4, simply great:) I love the Christmas balls version:)

Paige Hind December 14, 2024 at 2:59 PM LOL hilarious :D

Gershon Wolf December 10, 2024 at 8:24 PM Christmas balls. Hmm. Had to check mine out. As I suspected, they have turned red and green for the season... Hmm. Now, what could I possibly mean by this? I'll have to google it. lol. ~ gw Andrea Dietrich December 11, 2024 at 12:48 PM Now go and put your Xmas underwear back on, Gershon!!

Victor Buhagiar December 10, 2024 at 2:40 AM My stomach churns with the smell of chocolate. Though I would prefer mince pies. Oh well, must not risk another coma through glucose overdose. Hugs.

Sara Kendrick December 9, 2024 at 4:08 AM Good ideas and well excecated for the contest. It reads like a good contender to me. Way to go. Those circumstances all ring true and real to most of us, I am sure. Thanks for sharing with us. Sara K..I love carbs when the weather gets cold for some reason so the pounds will mound up. Sara K

Ink Empress December 8, 2024 at 11:10 PM Haha you are the cutest sweet andrea! And so pretty! I really really love this! Im not into festive poems usually but im reading many creative ones on soup and yours is so fun! Especially about chocolate lines! Thats me! I sure want to lose more weight but cant help devouring chocolates haha: and i also smiled as i read “ Hoped it might be Claus bringing me some cash.” if only! Haha best wishes for the contest! Sending you light

Anne E Sangster - K December 8, 2024 at 6:56 PM Wow these are excellent Andrea! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your parodies :-) Very witty and lots of chuckles :-D Hugs Anne xox

Beryl Edmonds December 8, 2024 at 5:45 PM Love the parodies Andrea, enjoyed singing every one… Beryl

Jan Allison December 8, 2024 at 4:00 PM very witty parodies Andrea, hugs jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen December 8, 2024 at 10:37 AM - Both funny and skillfully written, Andrea :) - Christmas is a time for traditions, – a time of year when many people would rather everything be just like before - I know many disagree with me, but I think we might benefit from trying some small changes every now and then, also during Christmas - Christmas dinner won't be ruined if you let loose with some new side dish or a different dessert :) - GL in the contest :) - hugs

Jim Slaughter December 8, 2024 at 10:28 AM I love song parodies, Andrea, and these fit the bill to a tee...hee...

John Read December 8, 2024 at 9:51 AM Hi Andrea, you've certainly put your heart and soul into this one, good luck in the contest. xx Andrea Dietrich December 8, 2024 at 9:56 AM Well, the first two are new. They don't take too much time, but thanks.

Jay Narain December 8, 2024 at 9:48 AM Wow, very appetizing. I don't worry about gaining weight, I don't buy sweets for months. Andrea Dietrich December 8, 2024 at 9:55 AM I don't eat sweets very much any more either. Love them though

Yann Rolland December 8, 2024 at 9:43 AM Andrea , you made me hungry, even if i don't know all songs, this is so creative, i had great fun with your four poems, Can't wait for Christmas thank you so much Andrea Dietrich December 8, 2024 at 9:55 AM I had hoped to show the tune of the first one with a video of me dancing with my students, but I can't locate it on FB. Darn it.

Tom Cunningham December 8, 2024 at 9:39 AM Great parodies Andrea, you rose well to the challenge. Good luck in the contest. Tom Andrea Dietrich December 8, 2024 at 9:54 AM thanks, Tom. I love song parodies.