Long Charlie Poems
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The Dogs we called Family
Tara came first and then there was Ben,
When both of them died we said never again.
Then Sam the runner, got killed in the street,
Prince came and went quick, we didn't know he was sick.
He came from a farm where distemper was rife,
Took him to the vet where he ended his life.
One year had to pass to get our house clear,
Without a mutt there, it seemed without cheer.
One day I was out and the Pound I happened to pass,
I doubled back and I looked through the glass.
Inside I walked, many dogs ignoring my stare,
Until one at the end looked up at me square,
Sat on her haunches both paws outstretched.
She's the one, I knew, so my family I fetched.
I said nothing to them of the dog I had seen,
When they saw the same one I knew they were keen.
The dog was due for the jab that very hour,
To save her life now was in our power, you see.
We paid the fee for her life, Our Lucy was free.
She was the new member added to our family of four,
She lived with us and loved us for 19 years more.
While she was with us we had another to add,
Along came Jamie the Yorkie,he was a bit of a lad.
Like Ben he stayed near ten years and sadly passed.
Lucy died of old age, we said it's time to give in.
Our Garden Cemetery of loved ones was full to the brim.
To Cyprus we came to retire and live in the sun,
Of a dog in the family we didn't want one.
Then a visit to Larnaca was to change our life again,
Because along came Lexi to start it all over again.
She was soon followed by Levi, he was a lively one,
Then came Eli, the whirlwind and pain in the bum.
So from just us two forever as we'd planned,
Now we were five and life was once again grand.
A sad day loomed we had no idea of what was to come,
Levi was walking wrong so we took him to the vet
He had hurt his spine, as bad as it could get.
His rear end gave out and could not be reversed.
He was paralyzed, and getting steadily worse.
The love he gave us in his life reduced us to tears.
The vet said it's time he confirmed our worst fears.
We let him go to where he could romp with all the rest,
All the dogs in our family, they were the best.
With Tara and Ben, Jamie,Charlie the Pinscher and Lucy too
Neo the Collie and Big Ben & Storm the Rottweilers two,
Newfoundland Curtis and Demon the Chow,
All Pals together, in the Big Kennel now.
© Dave Timperley May 5th 2016
EDDIE MARS AND THE SOLAR WINDS
The biggest band in Lisburn and fronted by Eddie Mars
A guy who could play anything, on his collection of guitars
On vocals, Charlie Venus, who was the joker in the pack
He played his fender tele' through a great big marshall stack
On bass was Johnny Neptune, with his yellow platform shoes
He harmonized on vocal, a disciple of the blues
The keyboards were delivered, by Hector Mothership
He worshipped things electrical, and loved the microchip
Ray Uranus kept the beat and he wore a bowler hat
Sure only a crazy drummer, would adopt a name like that
They played all over Britain, with their rockin lunar style
They sold out gigs in Wigan, they were lauded in Millisle
Their stage show was fantastic, with a massive lighting rig
A spaceship and some planets, lit the stage at every gig
That grew a loyal fan base, as they played across the land
They lived a life of excess, just like any touring band
Success soon followed in their wake, awards came thick and fast
And very soon the space machine, had an ever growing cast
Five young lads from Lisburn, fifty people in their crew
An entourage of strangers that they never even knew
Five big trucks, a fleet of cars, a chopper and two planes
A man to do the finance, who didn't even know their names,
Still, fashions change, the sales dried up, the audience died away
And soon there were no big crowds, to watch the five lads play
Their last gig at the Ulster hall, was an evening to forget
Out of tune, and full of beer, as they stumbled through the set
And things got pretty messy when accountants came to call
They had no cash, they had no rights, seems their manager had it all
Their luck ran out, the band where broke, they had to end the show
They had to sell up everything, the spaceship had to go
Ray could never come to terms, with all the hurt and pain
He took some drugs and alcohol, he just never woke again
Hector went to college and he earned a top degree
And now he is the I.T guy in a light bulb factory
Johnny is the local star, who likes to talk about his fame
He tries to pull the young girls, and dine out on his name
Charlie lost his family, when the alcohol took hold
He shelters in the hostels when the weather gets too cold
Eddie left the country, when it all became too much
He now lives in Australia, but he never kept in touch
Have you ever met those kind of blokes who get upon your nerve,
when they quote continual references that most think should deserve
a threatening confrontation that if they make that quote again,
then the punishment that’s handed out will give them heaps of pain.
A gang of us were working down along the Main Drain stream,
clearing blackberries and willows on a governmental scheme,
and as usual on a Monday morn, weekend glitches are highlighted,
that are full of doom and gloom, and mostly are ‘beer blighted.’
For Clancy, Joe and me, we sort of blessed the doom and gloom,
as it transgressed into humour, and so there wasn’t any room,
for the likes of workmate Charlie who only saw a brighter side,
when there wasn’t any bright side; just a great gloomy divide.
Charlie is the eternal optimist with no matter what is said
in the ghastliest of circumstance even if someone was dead,
and Charlie only had one quote that we’re sure he did rehearse,
and so we heard it every time ‘It could have been much worse.’
So after work one evening in the pub we had some beers,
with ‘it could have been much worse,’ still ringing loudly in our ears,
and with Charlie being absent we devised a cunning plan,
to rid him of that bloody quote and then praying that we can.
We thought that as a perfect subject we would use our good mate Ted,
in a steamy sordid untrue yarn to get inside of Charlie’s head,
and have him shaking in his bootstraps, plus gulping in his throat,
to avoid us hearing one more time, his annoying bloody quote.
And so ‘it could have been much worse’ is about to get the chop,
as we cut and piled the prickly canes, of a large blackberry crop,
so when the time was ready, with Charlie well within ear shot,
Joe babbled out the sordid tale that was really ‘Tommyrot.’
“Did you hear about our old mate Ted, and what went on last night?
He caught his wife with Jimmy Hale, and there was a shocking fight;
he shot ‘em both and then himself!” But Charlie stayed quite calm but terse,
as he rolled a smoke and muttered out, “It could have been much worse.”
“Much worse!” We squawked as one... “How can it be worse than that?”
And the answer Charlie gave us… well it really knocked us flat,
after dragging on his cigarette, he sniffed and quietly said,
“If it had have been the night before, it’s me who would be dead.”
The most awaited result got publicized, but
Internet hadn't landed the soil of my country.
Televisions were tabled in few pocketed places,
Still they worked, minute and achromatic.
With huge audience circling, signal was word alien,
Viewers would holler in unison, "It's raining!"
I now understand the fluctuation of signal,
We'd leave the jammed hall. No rain outside!
Correspondences saw only lethargic typewriters,
That sounded a poll pecking of a woodpecker.
A single wireless station would be queued
With people waiting for, "Pom, pom, Tango, Charlie."
Communication gravely sought its transmission,
Three-band radio justified on its little way,
Only richer lots bought and owned pompously
And my country had a single frequency squeezed.
The announcement was radioed in a succinct brief-
"The result of 1997 ICSE examination is out."
Nothing more or less, of the India-based examination,
I jumped on my toes only to later feel crushed.
My kiths were dejected with my abortive result,
An unofficial hearsay, they caught hold onto
Their dejection pierced my heart, agonizingly.
I'd to visit my alma mater, result matted least.
A two-day-long journey, not by a luxurious car
But on the hood of a truck on a bumpy roads,
Only the Indian highway would ease the journey
Like relieving the physical pangs of exhaustion.
The mental turmoil intensified as I neared
My school where the sheets would be displayed,
The wall would announce to a hundred lot of us,
The failure provoked sleepless nights and journeys.
My heart thudded as I entered the school premise,
Lips dried, even a pool of water wouldn't wet them.
Shivering, perplexity and numbness, crippled me,
I just wanted me alone to declare the performance.
I walked up the staircase with thundering emotion,
The entrance seemed gloomily unwelcoming,
Saw I a crowd of my mates craning and giraffing,
On the either sides of the entrance, sheets full.
No greetings, no handshaking, I just shied away,
Waited for the crowd to go thinly populated.
Just in one particular column to refer, wanted I,
PCA or PCNA - biggest summary of a year's toiling.
My comrades filed out slowly, forward I lunged,
Searching my name, throbbing took its tempo.
Spotted the name, from the wall, PCA grinned,
Pass Certificate Awarded, I became triumphant!
©?Khachab Dorji
I stay up all night thinking
About the entire day
How to make things different
To stop being afraid
I wish I could reach out and call
I know they really love me
They want to know about my life
But I don’t think they’ll see
My life is different from before
This I do agree
But who I am and was before
I’m closer now to free
There are things that I must change
To have peace and to be
All I’ve ever dreamed of
Living and feeling free
I’ve found my mate, my lover
My family, my best friend
He’s older and he’s different
On him, I do depend
Our love is real and true and kind
He needs me, I need him
My family doesn’t accept me now
They’ve judged him on a wim
How do I live my life
Without my mom and dad
I know they want the best for me
But what they do is bad
They always expect the worst of me
And show me no trust too
Despite the path I’ve laid till now
It doesn’t matter what I do
I’m proud of who I have become
A person honest and true
Why can’t they just be happy now
Sit back and watch how I grew
They created who I am in part
Their job is now to see
That I will choose my life and dreams
And who I want to be
I’m thankful and appreciate
All that they have done
And want them to believe in me
And trust my life’s begun.
I’m estranged now from my brother
His wife and his family
My best friend Kim is worried
Of the life that I lead
They think that I have chosen bad
And not fulfilled my dreams
Assuming this about my life
Without consulting me
I wrote these words to express
How I feel to them
I hope that they will listen
And that acceptance will begin
I want them to stop assuming
Always the negative and the worst
And believe I can be happy
Help me lift my bad luck curse
I know it may be hard
To accept Charlie
But they will have to try this now
As he is part of me
If only they would give themselves
The chance to know him well
A person with a soul they’d love
If they could only tell
I hope my parents find a way
To understand my life
If they can’t accept me now
Stab me with a knife
This is how important you are
My beloved family
So can we please start over now, fresh and anew
This will make me happy
And Charlie wants this too
I need you with me by my side
In my life I do.
I love you and I miss you much
I hope you feel this too.
Form:
WHERE TO BEGIN I LOVE MAN BECAUSE GOD MADE ME FILLED WITH DESIRE FOR MAN A GIFT TO MAN THERE WAS JOHN TERRY ALFRED HENRY CIRO LARRY ANTHONY CHARLES RETIRED SHERIFF THERE WAS DON HAROLD DON II JOHNNY ROBERT PHILLIP LEVI OH MY GOD I DARE NOT SAY THEE ELEVEN WHITE RUSSIANS EACH TAKING TURNS RIDING THE MECHANICAL BULL THERE WAS RICHARD JUNE BUG LOU WAS INTERESTING HE JUST LOVED TO LOOK HE WAS ALWAYS TOO EXCITE ATTORNEY CHARLIE WILSO.N OVER STRAWBERRY CHEESE CAKE BEN HOPKINS WHOLESALER USED CARS TONY BOLOGNY CAB DRIVER KINGS FROM SAIDI IRAQI KINGS YOUR HIGHNESS WAS THE BEST EVER NOT TO MENTION THE MEETING OF THE MINDS SGT MAJORS WORLD LEADERS CLERGY GOD BLESS THEM FOR BEING TEMPTED BY MY DESIRE ME WOMAN NO MAN COULD RESIST WHY MEN SIMPLY
LOST THEMSELVES IN MY DESIRE BEING AN ENTERTAINING A SHOW GIRL MARIETTA ROXY FOXY I DESIRE PLEASURE OF MAN HELL AM I WRONG I TRULY BELIEVE MAN WAS THE GREATEST GIFT TO WOMAN WHY I WAS ABLE TO BREED 8 TIMES THE JOY OF MAKING A BIG FAMILY HAS ITS PERK AND I ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT TOO THIS TRULY MAKES ME BLUSH FASCINATING TO SAY THE LEAST SGT SAVOY SGT MICHEAL PFC LITTLE THERE WAS FIRST SGT TOP SGT FIRST CLASS WILLIAMS MASTER SGT CHARLIE COMPANY SGT PERRY SGT HENDERSON MY MY MY SGT MAC GODS GIFT TO WOMAN IS MAN THIS IS MY PERSONAL GIFT FROM GOD BUT THERE ARE TIMES MY DESIRES REACH THE HOLY SPIRIT ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL BOTH MY EX WERE CHEATERS SO I LEARNED TO LOVE ME MORE THAN MAN I COULDN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT GODS PRECIOUS GIFT OF MAN I CRAVE MAN GOD CREATED ME FOR MAN HIS REASON MAN COULDN'T BE TRUSTED TO BE ALONE SINCE ADAM WAS TRYING TO BREED WITH ANIMALS GOD KNEW ABOMINATION WOULD RUIN HIS EARTH WHO WOULD BE FRUITFUL ME WOMAN 8 KIDS 26 GRAND TWO GREAT GRAND PLEASURE MY REALITY BEING ME WOMAN THANK YOU GOD FOR MAKING ME FOR MAN WOW OH HOW I DESIRE MAN GODS MOST PRECIOUS GIFT TO WOMAN OUTSIDE OF NUNNS BUT I'M QUITE SURE EVEN NUNNS HAVE DESIRE FOR MAN THAT'S WHY THEY PRAY THE ROSARY AT 7 AM EVERY MORNING FLUSHING THE SINFUL NATURE OF BEING TOUCHED BY A MAN WELL I'M NO NUNN MAN UNDER ME ABOVE ME WITHIN ME DESIRE DESIRE THE COMPLETE DESIRE OF MAN AND WOMAN THAT'S GODS GIFT TO ME MORE MORE MORE MAN FOR EVERY WOMAN AND I WANT SECONDS YES PLEASE MARCO POLO I ADORE MAN EVEVY INCH OF MANHOOD REACHES MY DESIRE CREATING IN ME FRUITFULNESS I CAN'T DENY I THINK I'LL HAVE SOME MAN RIGHT NOW WHY NOT
i was arrested because my room mate wouldnt leave my condo
then i was arrested because my roomate wanted me to leave his apartment
cousin died after going to dentist
ive been held hostage
222 tips wouldnt take the information, the news wouldnt respond
ive had a gun pointed at me
i lived in an apartment where night after night doors were kicked in
through my relationships i know of 3 people who have been murdered
ive grown a lump on my forehead and jaw due to medication
i endured pain in my testicles for over 6 months, and no doctor would give me the
treatment
in a hospital i was held down and injected a needle, to wake up 3 days later with
nerve damage
father died in head on collision
my computer accounts have been hacked
ive been a victom of identity theft
rash for a year and no doctor could remedy it
molested as child
grandpas estate was a mess
abandoned by mother
hider in the attic who tore up my belongings
grandpa was in a coma
my grandma was quadrapalegic
police have ransacked my apartment
beaten by two cops
victom of drug ring
i have a sister and brother i dont know
ive moved at leat 20 times in the last 15 years
ive flatlined
been homeless four times
my first middle and last names are titles to songs
as is my birthday month and year, good movies too
ive been drugged
woken up with strange bruises
been plajerised
abandoned on the side of the road and strange towns
attempted suicide several times due to medication
know of paralegal and judge scams,
police loophole for the insiders of drug ring gangs
my grandfather was a war hero, on both sides of my family
i at the age of 31 years have yet to have the right to my own person
or live where i want
if the above doesnt sound like torture to you
you are the enemy, and wipe that smile off your face
ive predicted terrorist attack in my tourism class
tidal waves in the hospital
and like i said on youtube charlie, they don't see it coming
i predicted my grandpas coma
a girl with shingles that would live
i still wonder if the conversation i had with kurt cobaine through the television was
real, but he did comit suicide a week or so after,
i know we as people like to sing and dance and compete as we play house
so what would you bring to a remote deserted island?
the list goes on.... im not even kidding
He walked with a swagger,
was a delinquent lagger
and recidivist wagger
all his schoolboy days.
Joyridin on the Pare’ bus
he’d skylark and cuss
just like one of us
as was his way always.
He was undeniably cool
but did shirk at school
and play the fool
from bell to ringin bell.
Widely well liked as a peer
and but for the odd jeer
had nothin to fear
but many a tale to tell.
He oft sat ready in class
but mostly half ar-se
and exams seldom pass
much to his own bane.
Almost always in a scrape
lookin to mock or ape
or some dare or jape
and felt a swingin cane.
He climbed out on a limb
and broke into the gym
then let his friends in
loadin up the bar.
Squattin and pressin away
liftin in the weight bay
‘til fun and horseplay
went a step too far.
He did the flyin fox cling
and leg and arm fling
on the rope swing
with collidin force.
For dear life hands hangin,
blokes fallin and clangin
into each one bangin
on the Confidence Course.
He was a hurler of eggs
and ‘til someone begs
did charlie their legs
but it was all in fun.
A water bomb he’d let fly
when he’d from up high
ambush a passer-by
abscondin on the run.
He his loyal friends also
under the gym below
did hide and stow
lest they all be found.
Then one guy in the loop
would dive thru a hoop
and the rest swoop
should it fall down.
He at lunch hour stood
all innocent and good
but not as he should
policin the tuck shop.
As monitor it was his job
to calm the unruly mob
but never tell or dob
suckin on his lollipop.
He was a classroom pest
out of uniform dressed
on his own little quest
and always in strife.
But in his heart he knew
what he needed to do
and this he would rue
the rest of his life.
He was a master pranker,
some say a wanker
but he did hanker
for somethin more.
Girls thought him sweet
and did fall at his feet
goin crazy for Skeet
but his spell had no cure.
~~~~
Pic above: The old Windsor Park Hotel is
in the background. It is 1977
and we are just 16 years old.
below: With friends below the trees
of Rangitoto College.
"Book Worms" Posted 1 Feb 2021
i'm reading a book about anti-gravity I can't put it down
that bio of Led Zeppelin's guitarist is a real Page turner
don't miss this: "Dummies For Dummies" by Charlie McCarthy and Lamb Chop
i'll admit there is a time and place for books in my hand and right now
in one college course we read books about candy the class was Choc Lit
today I got hit on the head by a book I have my shelf to blame
[humor attribution: all humor found online of unknown origin]
"But Weight, There's More" Posted 8 Feb 2021
for some of us during COVID overeating is a weigh of life
when i feel plump i tell myself i'm not overweight, i'm undertall
those who sell books on dieting are living off the fat of the land
darwin's theory of sumo wrestling the survival of the fattest
during lockdown, i'm on the seafood diet i see food, i eat it
i saw my doctor and asked him what kind of shape i'm in he said "pear"
[humor attribution - all were found online, of unknown origin]
"Groucho Marx Edition" Posted 15 Feb 2021
if i said you had a gorgeous body would you hold it against me?
i would never belong to a club that would have me as a member
be open minded but not so open minded that your brains fall out
i never forget a face but in your case, i'll make an exception
i have had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it
those are my principles and if you don't like them, well, I have others
All humor attributed to the inimitable Groucho Marx
"Occupational Hazards" Posted 22 Feb 2021
my dentist's motto be true to your teeth or they will be false to you
bakers trade recipes with each other on a knead to know basis
I called a budget exterminator he came with a flyswatter
the butcher backed into the meat grinder and got behind in his work
a back- and neck-straightener in Egypt is called a Cairo practer
don't call me a plumber I am a "broker in new and used water"
[Humor attribution - all humor found online, attribution unknown]
She was a new girl to me, a day before she never existed
I seen her the first day of tenth grade, mind full of serious intentions
The repped the same style I did, but she was’nt interested
The end of school on the bus ride home
She asked where her stop was, I told her but let her walk alone
Later I found out it was far from close
Than I remembered it was 7 blocks away
Than it finally hit me, she was my homeboys lady
We started talkin more, the convos were nice
Than she mentioned her man, I was envious and enticed
To ask her on a date and she did’nt refuse
Charlie had dissed her or so the story goes
A few weeks later I heard the news
They had sex, I felt nervous like I was abused
Soon it was like Information about charlie was all of my use
The next time I saw her, she was’nt as nice
You can tell she was sad by the look in her eyes
She was cryin for a long long time
What he took from her was sugar and spice
Months later she told me what they had
A deep long relationship, so of course she was sad
I told her be strong and never give up
Theres always somebody for someone so we hooked up
Things were good for the first eight months
Loving and hugging is all that there was
Not knowing what lay ahead in the future
Took it all for granted, but always said I loved her
Start of eleventh grade things went wrong
I started to get moody, felt confined but still felt strong
Told her I did’nt want this much, damn I was flawed
did’nt want this much responsibility and attention
Should have known, you need that with this kind of relationship
I wish I knew that way back than
She was special to me, she was my loyal bestfriend
Situation was like this for the next two years
I felt in control of another persons life
I was so stupid and soon came by biggest fears
Never thought that I’d feel like this
For her I cried, oh god what did I miss?
I’m in her place now with the memories and tears
Why was’nt I there for her when she was lost and scared
When the tables turn you feel so helpless
Wanna go back to the very first day you met this, beautiful person
And say how much you’re sorry for the future and the unintentional diss
Lesson learned, don’t take for granted someone elses love and heart
It will come back to you 10 times harder and tear you apart
Form: