Long Butterball Poems

Happy shiny tummy courtesy...I REM ember in place of stipend

An appetizer, essentially an
out of this world guacamole
quasi Neptune salad,
regarding self taught cook
earning prized counterpart
five Michelin stars,
when the missus artfully, carefully,
cannily, decorously, deftly,
and happily prepared
earlier today...

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I spent my early life
Looking out from behind
The chain link fence on the turkey farm

There they fed me right
Fattened up my thighs
After all, what could be the harm

If it was up to me
I would never...

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Turkey
    Let's See

        Gobble
            Wobble

         ...

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Fifty nine inch tall wife
once willowy wisp
postmenopausal galloping gourmandiser
playboy centerfold girly
figure ain't no mo,'
which superfluous weight deterrent,

love life yours truly
took Kamikaze nosedive
arousing, exciting, stimulating...
as romancing the stone statue,
but seen thru Tom 
gobbler beady eyes

butterball babe...

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This is the story of the first Thanksgiving
The way things really took place
You remember, there were a bunch of turkeys
And Pilgrims from the human race

Now the story you've heard all your life
Is not exactly how...

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My dog is not a manly dog,
she’s my dog just the same
A manly dog rides in a truck
and retrieves the hunted game

My dog, she is a lady dog…
when we got her she was small
A little...

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had a crush on good ol’
“jesus,” but being that he
was all made up, s/he had
to settle for the 
“jackhammer jesus,”
a big strong dildo
invented to make one
cum in the name of the
“lord!”---
now, her/his best friend
had always...

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Enveloped in the moonlight
The moon reflects her eyes
She'll never understand it 
Even though she tries

She sits beside her window
Lost is distant thought
She ponders, ever waiting
For the answers that she's sought

She wonders about the dinosaurs
"Where did...

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THE WAX CRIES WITH HAPPINESS

Mom’s up early with the plucked bird, stuffing it.
The bare rinsed butterball, portions for six.
All day our mouths water, stomachs pitching a fit,
as we wait for the skin to crisp...delicious drumsticks.

Potatoes...

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Fat you were, beyond description.
Jabba the Hut had nuthin' on you.
From a scruffy little Brillo-pad sized stray
Your appetite ballooned you
To an incontinent continent of feline adiposity.

A fur covered Butterball turkey
With attitude
You never failed to fall...

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I wrote this poem 3/26/1996

To My Brother, My Friend

My first memory of you was
looking through the hospital nursery
window at this little butterball that
I was told was my new little brother.

From that moment on I was...

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Overheard at the annual convocation of a Butterball turkey flock:

"'Tis Thanksgiving again and as usual our necks are on the choppin' block!

Them pious Pilgrims began the tradition of dinin' on our hapless relations,

And ravenous homo...

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The 20-pound butterball turkey rests 
On a table laden with condiments;
We bow our heads, reach out our hands and bless
And say grace which presupposes our content.

But as we eat, the elephant harrumphs
To lead our banter...

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It's time for Tom to lose his wattled head.
He's designated martyr for the feast.
We pluck him naked and stuff him with bread
Then roast his hapless carcass whole or pieced.
We carve, dismember, separate his flesh
and pile...

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