Long Burlesque Poems
Long Burlesque Poems. Below are the most popular long Burlesque by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Burlesque poems by poem length and keyword.
I Never thought,
Doing the dishes would be therapeutic,
Or that making the bed should be something automatic.
I never thought,
And now I do !!
I never thought,
Gardening would help me grow,
And now about it I want to crow.
I never thought,
And now I do !!
I never thought,
Lessons could be taught by anyone,
any time , anywhere,
And now I learn lessons everywhere.
I never thought,
And now I do!!
I never thought,
listening would such rewards bring,
Now I just want to sing.
I never thought.
And now I do !!
I never thought poetry was for me,
And now it has set me free.
I never thought,
And now I do !!
.
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I sprinkled dry yeast in warm water
And watched it bubble up,
Then cracked open a fresh laid egg
On the edge of a measuring cup.
I dumped in a helping of all-purpose flour,
A little oil, a pinch of salt.
Then I stiffened it up in a mixing bowl
Like a mugger committing assault.
I rolled it all out on a cutting board
Well-dusted with whole grain unbleached.
My hands went to work massaging the mass
As appropriate texture was reached.
I then let it sit till it doubled in size,
Set the oven to furnace degrees.
Then I fashioned a riddle and baked it inside,
Left the kitten to do as she please.
Twenty minutes later…
I opened the oven with fireproof mitts,
And fetched out my fresh staff of life.
I brushed it with butter, then set it aside,
Left to cool, while I sharpened my knife.
Ten minutes later…
The time finally came,
I was hot on my game,
And I cut me a taste-tempting slice.
But it was only half-baked,
Insufficiently toasted.
It had to go back in the oven.
I surveyed the scene,
Took a couple more tokes,
And baked up a morning worth lovin’.
Hungry cricketers score more runs and take more wickets,
Hungry Doctors tend to make new medical breakthroughs'
Hungry children produce less waste,
Hungry people are more likely to come in out of the cold and join the fold,
Hungry worms make for better soil.
A hunger for friends as children mostly produces smart adults,
A hunger for bread forces more to bake,
A hunger for the truth produces more who are literate,
A hunger for perfection produces great tradespeople,
A hunger for success reduces the number on the benefit,
A hunger for acknowledgement gets more people out of the house,
A hunger for peace means less chance of war,
A hunger for good poems makes poetry soup taste better.
A thirst for knowledge is what sets Humans apart.
There was a time when despite regular bun fights,
Sexist attitudes,
Unrealistic demands by key players,
Money problems,
Drunkenness,
And petty squabbles,
The end product,
That flashed across Cinema and TV screens
Lifted our spirits,
Made us cry,
Made us believe,
Gave us hope,
Challenged us in ways like never-before,
Offering up large doses of empathy,
And understanding.
It enriched a vast number of lives ,
And made the world seem less dull,
Perhaps even less threatening,
More comforting.
We could relate to the message,
The imagination,
Passion and will power of those who gave us,
Something larger-than-life,
And made us care,
For the better I think.
Now has come our winter of discontent,
With no melting snows in sight,
And new types of production teams,
At the forefront,
With no fire in their belly,
Or a burning desire,
To stay true to the art form,
And certainly no concept of,
How many of those who live alone,
And don't get out much,
Are overdosing on reality TV shows,
Like sewer squad,
Hoarders,
And the real housewives,
(Not yet extinct apparently).
And for those who do go out but shouldn't,
There are the reality cop car chases,
Or real murders in all their gory details.
But one has to believe,
As the signs are there,
At places that are big enough to squeeze in an extra person or two,
The Larger than life shows are making a come back,
(Thanks god they kept copies of some of them).
Even for the modern production teams,
Lacking in imagination,
It surely won't be long before,
Reality hits home,
And we can only hope,
That when it does,
There will be enough money left,
For someone prepared for a bun fight,
To produce an epic or two.
I had been fooled
She used her foreign to-meness
To arouse me into
Wanting her
She had been taught such
To find facts
Which she could use against
Me
My teaching never included
That of the body
and my job made it
easy for me to be used,
This her samplings of together ess
Made either subhuman from
Wanting. Or extrahuman from
Needing. A desire of her flesh
made togetherness tolerable
I looked forward to being
With her even as she was my
enemy.
This the nights of froth,
Would be defined through our
Love making. She made time
enough to seduce me her time
and labor as a woman, could make
even the scariest of sameness
In afterlude nonexistent that she
Was a woman in all affairs of
womanism!
The Chill of loneliness are warmed
By her expression to
Procreate and
Be mine!
I left the pub one night in a bit of a tizzy
and saw some kind of being like a tin lizzie.
This turned out to be a polite alligator
now on probation for having eaten a waiter.
The police left it tied to a street lamp, it seemed.
It looked so kind. how its joyful face beamed.
It spoke perfect English, quoted Terence and Horace.
I was surprised to learn that its first name was Boris.
"In life,' it confided. 'whatever you do,
apologize profusely and past failures rue.
Then proclaim calmly the past to be past.
Now is the time to move on at last.'
Its sudden jerk made me lose grip of its leash ,
before attacking an old person whom it ate like a quiche.
"I just couldn't resist, so please don't tell the cops,'
it said, tears in eyes. while licking its chops.
The loss of that gentleman causes me pain.
I promise sincerely not to do that again.'
Then two irate policemen appeared on the scene.
One was fat and the other was lean.
Boris polished them off at remarkable speed.
To discourage this act no plea could succeed.
I wagged a finger to show disapproval
at such a violent and hasty removal.
'I am so sorry,' said Boris 'That's the last time
I shall ever commit such a base crime.
As I said before, it's time to move on.
The past is past. what's gone has gone.'
Who then should appear but Lord James Murray,
whom Boris devoured in rather a hurry.
'Boris,' I cried. 'That's enough. I'm perplexed.'
'In that case,' said Boris, you are the next.'
I ran like a hare for all I was worth
as never I ran from the day of my birth.
I got to my home, rushed in, locked the door.
I hid under the bedclothes, struck to the core.
What a hangover I had on the following day.
I saw no sign of Boris, I'm so glad to say.
One
Chloee? Yes Reginald!
Why do they call us Dachshunds, Wiener Dogs?
Maybe they call you a Wiener Reginald!
You cut me off at the legs with that one Chloee!
Two
Chloee? Yes Reginald! Have you ever smelled mothballs.
No Reginald it's too difficult to spread their tiny legs.
My that was a low blow Chloee. You wish Reginald, you wish!
Three
Reginald? Yes Chloee! I was at the park with my owner playing
Frisbee. As I watched the Frisbee I wondered why it was getting
bigger and bigger as it came towards me than it hit me.
Four
Chloee? Yes Reginald!
I was just lying down in the park the other day watching a Labrador
chasing his tail an' I thought ain't that amazing how easily amused
Labradors are! Then I realized I was watching the Labrador chase his tail.
Five
Reginald? Yes Chloee! I've written a poem it goes like this.
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. And some don't!"
Six
Chloee? Yes Reginald! I was at a restaurant, I ordered a chicken sandwich,
but I don’t think the waitress understood me. Because she said,
“How would you like your eggs?” So I tried to answer her anyhow. I said,
“Incubated! And then raised, and then beheaded, and then plucked,
and then cut up, and then put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun.
Damn! It’s gonna take a while. I don’t have time. Scrambled!”
The Finale
A Dachshund walks under a bar. I mean walks into a bar. Goes to the
bar and sits down. Asks the bartender "can I have a Budweiser Light
Beer" the bartender serves him and informs him "that will be seven dollars".
The Dachshund pays. The bartender keeps looking at the Dachshund.
Finally the Dachshund yells "What?" The bartender explains "no I'm
sorry we just never get Dachshunds in this bar." The Dachshund replies
"I'm not surprised...at seven dollars for a beer..."
The Encore
Reginald? Yes Chloee! When you cut your nails, do you file them?
Yes Chloee as a matter of fact I do! Pity! I just throw mine out!
Curtains!
01~10~2015
Sponsor: rob carmack
Contest: Daschunds
Rachel took an apple
And held it in her hand.
She beckoned to me sweetly
Saying, “Wouldn’t it be grand
To find ourselves in Eden
In a fig leaf wonderland?"
Rachel ate a grapefruit
And made herself a mess.
I watched and got excited
As it dribbled down her chest.
She licked her lips and giggled,
“Darlin’, you can have the rest.”
Rachel peeled a carrot
Held firmly in her grip,
And told me as she stroked it
From its base down to its tip,
“Some creamy Caesar dressing
Makes a mighty tasty dip.”
Rachel shucked an oyster,
With a swift and graceful swirl,
Its tender pink flesh glistened
Wet around its precious pearl.
Said, “This is how to do it
If you want to please your girl.”
Don't waste your energy,
In trying to fit more hours in your day,
As no dividend will ever come from thinking the house will ever pay,
A dividend for those who use their energy in that way,
And you will be using up time that should be set aside for play.
Instead of using your daily quota of energy in that way,
Try planning your day,
To reduce the time of your office stay,
By working out what can be put off for another day,
Without hell to pay.
If you do as I say,
And don't waste your energy trying to put more hours in your day,
As even if you can never put extra hours in your day,
You can prolong your life by many a day,
Resulting in more hours to play,
From hours you could not fit in your day,
That you found by using your energy in a more productive way.