Long Borax Poems

Sung to, You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch, (extended version).
KP

You’re a monster, Donny Dump.
Some biiig-time twiiisted clooown.
To no end, I could deride you,
are no depths you didn’t fall to,
no ineptness could elude you,
the bottom-feeders they...

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Not-So-Heroic Couplets
by Donald Trump
care of Michael R. Burch 

To outfox the pox: 
kill yourself first, with Clorox!

And since death is the goal, 
mainline Lysol! 

No vaccine?
Just chug Mr. Clean!

Is a cure out of reach?
Fumigate your...

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The groom will keep his name
whilst she will change hers
to his. We talked over these things
as we constructed a home
that would become home to the new couple.
Some laughed when they asked us
to construx the place.
We...

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We knaves had orders both explicit and dumb:
Scare the blazes out of a management bum.
Thunderstorm weather rocked wide Prince William Sound,
Feisty gales pouring rain all around.

My partner and I took our overseer
In a tiny smoker...

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Gas prices on the rise again? 
Folks don't know what to do? 
I've found a tiny solution, 
It's fuel made of doggie doo!

Several pints of canola oil, 
Perhaps an egg or two; 
Stir in a...

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Veteran's Day
Tattered uniforms washed with borax and sunrays 
still house the bulging proud chests of older youth
Who uncompromisingly gave away their modeled freedom
For un-apathetic ideals buried deep within the gabardine

Many found unknown treasures beneath their...

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Please Officer, Mr. Clean is not like that,
though will admit that we had a little spat.
I used Pine Sol, and he wasn’t really happy,
but assure you that it never made him slappy.
Little Joy was there...

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"The Stain Crusaders"

Plath left the pages long ago
and Bacharach’s Blue-on-Blue
is an ineffectual softer numb-shade-of-Blue
dear green green Anthropocene 

this much is true
with all the I love you’s
the wandering crusaders
are far far removed

sitting atop their soap boxes
sudsing...

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Apart from the worn stone-step
where drunks still topple
all has changed.
Now a neon glow backlights a plasticized fascia.

In the in the parking lot two blonds face-off.
one has extra-large ear bangles,
and she rattles like a Zulu warrior,
fingers...

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Scrubbing Bubbles, Dreft, Life Buoy, and Shout.
Help me to get my greasy grimy out.
Irish Spring, Dove, Windex, Borax too,
I turn to them when I am blue.

Cleaning is something I resolve not to do
unless I am...

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My baby has bi-lateral bonbons.
She modulates her rhythm side to side.
She’s a twenty-mule team moving violation,
Her motives pure as borax, her methods bona fide.   
She stood naked in a shell at her creation,
Now...

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A scientist by the name of Mulqueen
Wanted to create a Patrick's day scene
Some borax he ignited
The Irish were excited 
When over town he sent clouds of bright green.

The crowds called an encore they did insist
Mulqueen...

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