Long Blokes Poems

I believed that I was rural … that I lived in country style,
where the city was close handy … that big distance was a mile.
Trains and buses ferried daily; a freeway ran close by …
comforts...

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For ten months now I’ve brooded over coming second place
in the pickle section deeming, it no less than a disgrace.
It was written plain and simple, so there can be no excuse,
that the pickles in this...

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At the footbridge Sue was meeting her beau
(He was married to a woman called Flo)
Sue soon found out his deception
She dismembered his erection
For his love life it was a massive blow

To the hospital fled poor...

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Like Hannibal we crossed the pass and crossed 
   the Alps (okay, the Brynderwyn Hills) 
and a bridge too far on north-west passage.
   From out of the Valley of Mizpah 
to...

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A young woman from Glascow named Myrtle 
was as strong as the shell of a turtle.
Once, when an intruder snuck in,
she bare knuckled his glassy chin, 
then floored him with her iron girdle.
I asked this...

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‘She’s on again - the annual campin’ trip regatta,
and we’ve got ourselves together for our plans to Wonnangatta. 
The high country; you can’t beat it for the peace and quiet
unless of course some plans get...

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You know when I think about it now and what I have to do,
a lot of you folk out there would have a bit of envy too;
you see I'm a 'lacky' for a vet, well...

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Blossom
                                  ...

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The True Story

A Poem of the time, when as a 16 year old young fellow, and fresh from Blighty I spent 7 years as a Ringer in North Queensland, Australia. A Ringer is the Queensland...

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Blossom

Just grab a seat on that stump lad, and I'll take centre stage, 
With a yarn about a small brown donk, and a lad about your age.
And thanks much for the offer, but I'll give...

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Rod Andersons 
                                ...

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Alien talk I can’t understand
A Pifflewig performed a handstand
He verbalised through his ass
Gross putrid wind he did pass
Like many blokes throughout the land!

I farted, perhaps it was fear
Foul wind was expelled from my rear
The pifflewig...

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I was asked to read some poetry down at an old folks home,
Where they'd lost need for toothbrushes, and naturally a comb,
That is the blokes of course, who are gummy, stooped and bald, 
And closing...

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I went fishing with my brother Ron, and a bloke named Tommy Grace.
We had camped along the Tarago where we could fish on Harvey's place.
Ron brought along his rabbit traps; he don't like fishing much...

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I got a phone call from a mate of mine I hadn't seen for years,
and I could tell by his quivered voice that he was close to tears
so I asked Ken what is wrong then...

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I’ve mucked around when drinking beer like many other blokes,
who love to be involved when playing silly nonsense jokes.
It’s great to see a ‘bunny’ puzzled and completely unaware
that pranksters are around him, but he doesn’t...

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I’ve sorted spuds at Cora Lynn, picked asparagus at Vervale, 
Cherries in the Dandenong’s, beans on the Thompson close to Sale,
I’ve picked apples out at Labertouche and made a tidy quid,
But I’ve never picked an...

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Cold misty clouds rise above the grates
The streets only illumination, tossing shadows like pennies
Faded street lamps at each end
The cold is biting, as I roll the collar over my neck

I received a call earlier that...

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We could put solar-powered pumps into the pipe-lines
of desalinated water to push water up onto the mountains 
at minimal costs getting rivers to flow without needing rain
reducing dependency on natures supply 

Giving jobs unemployed reduces...

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(521 Australian servicemen were killed in
the Vietnam War.  Menzies = Australian
leader, septic tanks = "yanks", 
Queensberry = fair, as in the rules of
boxing, bonzer = good)

I'm Billy Bohane from Castlemaine - 
it's an Irish...

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I’m mourning over my old mate Bill; the old codger’s no longer alive.
Yes, the old ‘bugger’s given up smoking and stumps are at eighty-five.
No more gambling and joking or swearing; he finished his long drinking...

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Have you ever met those kind of blokes who get upon your nerve,
when they quote continual references that most think should deserve
a threatening confrontation that if they make that quote again, 
then the punishment that’s...

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...He reformed the routing patriots,
formed a line atop a rise, Perrine’s Hill,
brought in General Knox and the artillery,
commanding the mass through sheer force of will.

He needed to buy time for the main force
to march on...

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He walked with a swagger,
was a delinquent lagger
       and recidivist wagger
all his schoolboy days.
  Joyridin on the Pare’ bus
he’d skylark and cuss
      ...

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An enormous pole 
made of chrome 
A table set 
Steve, knew he was home 

With a tiny leather thong, 
he swung around, 
in a world he did belong, 
with the rythm of the sound 

Around...

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