Beer Goggles

There’s young girls and women All frantically slimming Perhaps they’re all seeking a mate But blokes around here Full of burgers and beer Are ugly or well overweight They wear their beer goggles And when their mind boggles They ask some old trout on a date One snuck down an ally With hideous Sally Who offered herself on a plate He fell off the wagon And entered the dragon Which meant a lot more than a date She soon had a grumble About that drunk fumble ‘You should have been careful... I’m late!’ That drunk was no baddie But now he’s a daddy He wasn’t expecting that fate But fellas who wink As they swig down a drink Make dads who will soon abdicate So put down your salad For this is no ballad And the blokes around here ain’t that great