Twelth Knight

FOREWORD: I have no idea if this actually works... I’ll let you decide TWELTH KNIGHT If you truly love me you shall do as I ask To demonstrate your ardour, I set for you this task I shall not make it easy to prove your love to me So this, Sir, is my challenge, go do it gallantly Fetch for me a ton or two of what I like for tea Nine trucks full of dripping will serve me perfectly And payback for those people who used to pick on me A dozen blokes to thrash them is satisfactory You know those metal baths, that folk would once scrub up in Fetch for me five small ones to do my washing up in And when the washing up is done who’s gonna wipe the plates It might seem rather silly but for that... eleven snakes Vegetables should not be damp so here’s what my next wish is Bring for me exactly four Perforated dishes Some shaven men to trim my lawn, be sure that seven come And two mittens the colour of the deepest darkest plum An ancient drink called koumiss, that comes from way back when Had honey and some milk in, so bring me eight of them A few young men to fix my socks, better make it ten And then bring me from Normandy three fellows, all called Den Find some men to exercise my reindeer with their sleigh If you accept my challenge, bring six of them my way And finally a big old fridge you’ll have to find for me But only if the offer is buy one and get two free. Well It took less than a fortnight to get the challenge done Just twelve days to finish off the task he had begun And while he wouldn’t often read his lovers diary She had left it open, so he’d see what he would see On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me... Twelve drubbers drubbing Eleven vipers wiping Ten laddies darning Nine loads of dripping Eight meads with milk in Seven shorn and strimming Six geysers sleighing Five old tin sinks Four colanders Three french Dens Two purple gloves And a large fridge and a pair free