Long Bertie Poems

Those kittens bounded through the flap and started to play
Raisin said the flowers look so pretty today
She went to sniff a daisy but an insect flew out
And so she hollered, “Watch out, Rum, there’s waspies...

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She was a dairymaid, oh so sweet;
many a year ago.
Her figure was trim, her hair was neat,
with ringlets tied up in a bow.
And many a farmer would leave his plough,
the turkeys and chickens, and even...

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Mrs Moppet decided to go to the beach
as it was such a sunny day.
Loading up her car with kids and picnic
they set off singing as they went.
The road was long and very twisty
and half way...

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We all meet Friends like these and sometimes we keep them!!
Written with a bit of Jamaican Patois thrown in.

           
     ...

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It’s really morbid, depressing, and sad,
at the gunpowder factory in town,
and the clean up is almost complete
since the factory was razed to the ground,
and here in the lounge of the tavern,
the inquiry’s about to begin,
‘cause...

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Kokoda Ten Shilling note.........................

Johnno had been out a tracking Japanese , in Kokoda's , misty green...
It was 1942, smell of death, slaughter so obscene.......
Suddenly two Japanese appeared, Don fired and death was there.......
Just pointed the...

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I was suffering the backlash from a vicious winter cold,
and so all my good intentions, I’m now forced to put on hold.
I won’t be pruning any plum trees; I won’t be pulling any weeds.
I’m off...

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Bertie Brown the Bantam weight was training for the fight
The tickets sold the seats laid out all ready for the night
‘Buster Brown can knock ‘em down’ the posters all agreed
But this one worried Buster sending...

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On a Monday public holiday and with my son home from school,
we organized to go out fishing in a creek where blackfish rule,
and while we’re putting in the boot, our bamboo poles and fishing gear,
I...

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Sheila Watters and her two young daughters were out for a stroll one day.
When all of a sudden big Bertie McCrudden jumped out and blocked her way.
"A couple of kisses from the little misses and...

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Alan Allston ate an addictive piece of cake.
Bertie bounced his bouncy ball by the bus stop but his brother caught the bouncy ball before the bus came.
Claire, Clara, Chloe and co built a sculpture of...

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Grandma Bertie” 

I see her in the sunlight 
On a bright, clear, day 
I see her milking cows on 
A farm in her younger days, 

I see her in the sunlight 
In her kitchen making...

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Pat the potato just sat in the ground
Wondering if he would ever be found
He couldn’t see anything there in the earth
So spent his days praying for all he was worth

Then the ground heaved as a...

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Mad Meg of the Moors they call her 
And she’s always dressed in white
And she’s looking for a bus stop 
As she wanders through the night.
You can hear her hideous mutter
Oh my lord, oh dear,...

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Forgive me, just some silly nonsense...


You can have your Chatty Cathy
Or Annie with the big Fanny
But you can't have Tom Terrific
You don't get it? That's uncanny!

They gotta rhyme like Sarah Tiara
Or Tammy who loves Salami
There's...

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whaffor bertie ...YOU MUST???

Moraly bankrupt bloody berk,
rancid rabid jabbering jerk,
grabbing dollars for of his perk,
from fat jabba of the west coast hut,
dirty stinking greedy but,
propiety is observed,
on her ugly big asses butt,
Tory governments must serve,
bribe...

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Breezy and gallus with nerves of steel
In him the team's heartbeat you could feel
He was the brains of that Celtic outfit
For that he deserves this little tribute
Exploiting an opening with defence splitting pass
Which allowed his...

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Her apartment house was shaped like a tall woman’s boot.
I could see why she chose to live there, it did in fact suit.
Her disposition, her opinions, her ideals and her attitude.
Being inside with her, reading,...

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