Bantam Bertie Brown

Bertie Brown the Bantam weight was training for the fight The tickets sold the seats laid out all ready for the night ‘Buster Brown can knock ‘em down’ the posters all agreed But this one worried Buster sending tremors to his knees He badly needed solace to prepare him for the war but all he found were cronies and the Yes men at the bar so with seven pints of Guinness drunk to sharpen up his wits Bertie slipped down off his stool and flexed his mighty fists To the cheers of husbands everywhere he set out for the bout Followed closely by the eager mob and half a dozen louts The front row seats fell silent as Bertie took the stance belt pulled tight, and sleeves rolled up, shirt tucked into his pants his opponent came out swinging, a jab, a swinging right as full of Guinness Bertie swayed with all his wobbling might But as he counter punched his right with a wild and powerful swing He spun round twice and lost his feet and landed on his ring Then struggling dizzily to his feet his face now pale and wan He didn’t see the knock out blow from Elsie’s frying pan The Friday fight was over, and the crowd dispersed quite sad It hadn’t been the best of scraps, though the best that Bertie had At least she hadn’t cut him up, or blackened both his eyes For Berties missus, Elsie was at least three times his size. For fifteen years each Friday night Bantam Bertie fights the fight But up against a heavyweight it’s not a pretty sight So Guinness drinkers everywhere remember and relate When fighting after drinking, never punch above your weight.