O yon Loch Ness Monster
is come out of the lake
through all the wide border
his tail left a wake
and save his fire-breathing
he weapons had none
he swam all unharmed
and fair maidens he won
so faithful in love
yet so very messy
there never was wee beastie
like the young dragon Nessie
(With apologies to Sir Walter Scott)
Is the Loch Ness Monster real?
Has anyone ever seen her?
I have never seen her,
Except on ‘The Simpsons’.
My family and I went on a boat trip on Loch Ness,
We never saw the Loch Ness Monster.
Many people have looked for her,
With binoculars and cameras.
When Mr Burns, Homer Simpson, Professor Frink and Groundskeeper Willie
Look for the Loch Ness Monster on ‘The Simpsons’,
They drain the loch until it is completely empty.
They capture her and take her to Springfield where they live.
Some people look for the Loch Ness Monster from the road,
Others look for her from a boat.
There are lots of possible sightings,
No one can be sure if they saw her or not.
They capture what they think is the Loch Ness Monster with a camera,
They don’t drain the loch like ‘The Simpsons’ characters do.
Draining the loch is not recommended,
‘The Simpsons’ characters do all sorts of silly things.
If you ever go looking for the Loch Ness Monster,
Take binoculars and a camera.
Don’t be silly like ‘The Simpsons’ characters,
Don’t drain the loch until it is completely empty,
Don’t capture her the way ‘The Simpsons’ characters did.
04/09/21
He was seen in a fog of velvet,
And clothed in mists of satin.
His life the stuff of legends.
A dweller of enchanted waters!
His beginning had not a future,
Yet his past was without end,
Though steeped in the unknown-
Deep in the soul of Loch Ness,
And famed far beyond Scotland!
Witness of the sunrises of old,
Whose travels are so solitaire.
Mysterious, dusky, fabled giant.
Heart of folklore-noble Scot!
And Creature without any name.
Will our children speak of him,
Someplace, in some future time?
Shall this never be explained:
Who is he? And where is he going?
Nessie lifted her head today for just a second.
I saw it, and thought ‘there she is!’ black skinny neck.
Black face, looked dinosaur-like. I ran flat out toward her.
Was it the “real” Nessie?
She dove down hard, did a disappearing act.
I lifted my green wading pool, looking underneath.
Thinking there was going to be a deep cavern,
But there was nothing but wet leaves and brown earth.
“Looking for a drain were you?” A snotty voice said to me.
I looked up into the eyes of a smug, irritating arch-enemy.
Dhramned Abominable Snowman! Out of all the stalkers in
The world, why did he have to be mine?
The shy monster deep in Loch Ness
Looks great and dresses to impress
But when fashion designer start arriving
She feels silly and decides upon hiding
(This is a fictional poem)
I proved that the Loch Ness monster is real.
But it raped me and that was a terrible ordeal.
The monster is ugly and as big as a whale.
I learned the hard way that it's a female.
Now the monster is pregnant and she'll have a tyke.
I hate to think of what my freak baby will look like.
Visiting Loch Ness is something that I regret.
You'd better stay as far away from there as you can get.
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