Horror Limerick Poems

Why Would Anyone Buy A Tesla And A MAGA Hat

Why would anyone patronize Elon Muck?
Muck rode the coattails of his friend Donald Duck
Muck and Duck...

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2025’s manuscript
Tips off the rip-offs as we’re gypped!
When oligarchs die
They'll not greed deny
But flip us the bird from their crypt...

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How could a corpse like me ask for more
Than this faucet from the showroom floor
It may look a dud
But it cleans off blood
And came dirt...

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BE NICE AT HALLOWEEN


Trick or treaters were having a good time
Grumpy Joe said you aren't getting a dime
He swore then he went inside
Kids were upset...

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On Devil’s Night

There once was a devil queen  on Whispering Lane
Mean and cunning her crew driven insane
For millenniums hurling malice 
Content in her palace
Casting...

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Just picture the gruesome scene
On the night of Halloween
When ghosts and ghouls do rule
With spirits  free from school
And every face is green...

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A gang of three guys displaying their flairs
Nonplus by the grin boy with curly hairs
Horror by the toothless teen
perfectly suits Halloween
As if he is Holmes,...

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She went to a pumpkin patch
To carve her pumpkin from scratch
But it came alive
Because it had thrived
From eating his unwilling catch

...

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Lucy's running nerves made her stew 
Race time, her legs stuck like thick glue 
When would be her time
Now a hard stool crime
Why did she...

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A waste paper basket, a trash can, a bin
Whatever you call it, some things won’t stay in
The things that you write
Long into the night
May make,...

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I fancied a look in the mirror 
          My horror could not have been clearer
Where once...

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His tongue might work well in commodes
Trump's flapper lets loose toxic loads
Spewing crap from the can
This Hitleresque man
Shows how constipation explodes 

Author's note: Why does...

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When my chef son came home from the navy
He wanted to make Thanksgiving gravy
And would like to process
A live Turkey they’d bless
And then sought out...

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Sue gave Jim some money for a turkey
But he spent it on gambling and whiskey
He found one in Walmart's bin
And walked away with a grin...

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Vampires and werewolves used to be
The scary monsters of Halloween
Now guns bring tears
And wars bring fears
The monsters are no longer dreams...

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