Funeral Limerick Poems

She never liked it here this her confession
I knew all along I had a connection
her husband passed away
and the very next day
A rental truck in...

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Asphyxiating one breath at a time
Oxygen levels not worth a dime
Gasping for breath
A step closer to death
We will soon hear her funeral bells chime...

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There once was a prez, D. Trump by name,
through fraud and fake news, he gets the blame.
All the four years he's bagged
those sly Dems had...

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My doctor’s warning is dour I say,
soon I could be lowered in clay,
so fat, sugar and salt,
hard liquor must halt -
I went to his funeral...

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Trump most notorious, dirty Donald 
                  Enjoyed many...

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If I die, it was Jim,  Lil’s note said.
Weirdly the very next day she was dead.
His relatives curious.
Her relatives furious.
Police detective left scratching his...

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I went to the morgue with a wreath
They told me she's down on the heath
My troublesome mask
Just ruined my task
Wreath in hand, I tossed down...

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they've catered to crowds riotously angry 
and brimming red hatted stadiums
but for wee places of worship
they're nailed shut with bullchit
it was never about safety, but...

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Do stop your moaning, for Heaven's Sake!
You're not the first to bellyache!
You can scowl, growl, or howl
Or throw in the towel
But no one can go...

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A funeral isn’t real fun
But taxes and death we can’t shun
I’ll spend my time on earth
To spread a little mirth
And prevent folk getting too glum

I...

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There was a woman from Chicago, who loved playing
loud music once too often, outside!

Her neighbors, no friends, locked her in her brown
shed, with no food...

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ST. PAUL’S CATHEDRAL AND THE TRAMP

Thousands, perhaps millions of wily, desperate tramps have always been,
But this one far away across the seas was an unusual...

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Notre Dame erupted in fire
Ghosts gasped in the funeral pyre
For the Devil's horns
Are the Crown of Thorns
Held fast by an angelic choir...

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There a premodern smile does emerge
From a hymn and a funeral dirge
For it e’er hails the skies
With its wise stony eyes 
Knowing heaven and earth...

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There was a man named Freddie
he'd beat is wife ever steady
a self centered drunk
he was a scum and a skunk
the judge made sure his cell...

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