Funny Language Poems

"I Didn't Know That" 

I didn’t know that 
A Be couldn’t sting
Or that a Bee was not a B.
I’m confused.

I didn’t know that
I should No...

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I am a cow 
Of course most of you reading this are also cows
But I have heard a rumor that those creatures
Who walk on two...

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Collective nouns, what do you mean?
Let me present-
A gaggle of geese,
A moose and some meese,
A tuft of grass,
And a band of thieves,
A fleet of ships,
And...

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Learning word meanings is fun indeed
as laughter bursts out from wisdom* seed…
"Her pink pen writes so well
while his dog pen does smell
thanks to Aunt Pen...

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She only said she loved him.
Of the rest she was reticent.
He only stood and wondered
Just what it was she'd meant.

She said only she loved him.
No...

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Sometimes I get muddled
A little confused and mixed up
I come out with funny things
and make everyone crack up

My workmate spent thousands on IVF
I was explaining...

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Some people are naturally funny
They have a flair for comedy,
Seems everything they say or do
Illustrates laughter as a remedy.

Many times quite unwittingly
They say something not...

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Past 
deserves a hushed funeral for the memories scarred 
from hands, unforgotten words, screams echoed
the times no one wants to relive 
somehow you manage to...

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I accidentally ate, consumed, chew in,
A thesaurus, a synonymopedia.
And ever since then, at that moment, by that time,
My words, vocabulary, sayings just sublime.

So when I...

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I
Better not blow away the ordinary
Often ordinary turns extraordinary
How, you may query
I'll answer, if u tarry

II
There is order in the ordinary 
In the hasty humdrum!...

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Agricola……
so started Gaius Caesar’s last assault
a farmer, who we hated by default
for Latin somehow came to rule our world
as meanings of declension slow unfurled

Thus, were...

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The book keeper
mops the slush pile,
dusts paragraphs,
adding a vase of clarity
on the table of contents,
creates settings
for the ghost writer
to slow down
run-on sentences,
mends torn sheets -
Oh,...

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In Russia do not drink is infraction
if not vodka it causes rejection
whoever is abstemious is screwed
 must live cloistered and booed...

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with beans and a biscuit to ponder
a rumbling seeking a yonder
at its behest
a simple request
oh speak you toothless wonder

9/29/2021

May The Gas Be With You Farts...

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What is it ‘bout fowl language,
                   ...

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