Funny Husband Poems

(A country song to my hubby…read this with a Loretta Lynn voice)

Verse one:

Well, my man is the kind who likes to unwind 
with a BudLight...

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The way he gazes at the moon, 
Doesn't quite feel right; every day he has a different tune. 
I envy his starlight, the perfect fit...

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THE LAST TIME I SAW A BLACK AUDI IT CUT US OFF PARKED THE SMELL OF DEATH WAS BREWING FUNNY HOW MANY TIMES I SCREAMED...

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LONELINESS

The times I shared with you
The laughter we also had
You helped me through with good days
And supported me with the bad.

The winter is setting in...

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My husband is over protective.
Less stress is his doctor's objective.
But with two teens at home,
Always on the damn phone,
"Let go" isn't always effective!

My teen daughter...

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In a marriage, what is “for life?” or, until death do you part?
Or is it until one cheats, gets sick, loses their job, go to...

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No so funny, man,
Feeding me spam,
Morbidly yours, all right,
More verbs, how blight,
Don't waste your words,
You're beyond absurd,
Negative chaff and chatter,
Really does not matter,
Get over yourself,...

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John did not try hard with his first wife
she was married, he was not
second wife cheated on him
served him right, he deserved that.

third wife was...

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Dusk hoover ring dawn ting task of badinage...

This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
insync...

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I'm right here
But yet you don't see me near
I'm not sure what to do
And it makes me blue
I've tried to work on us so much
And...

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How to attach a shower curtain...

I revisit rather than write from scratch
a poem crafted May twenty third 
two thousand and twenty
since the following words apropos
and...

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This is the wife’s rejoinder to my earlier post – HUSBAND. Of course, both are written with male and female perspectives and are a figment...

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onyun soup a bind that ties

spousey wins pulitzer prize

recipe steep

with onyun weep

so tasty it closes eyes.
...

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in this mug chicken noodles

spousey makes whole caboodles

evry single day

chases colds away

gets me back to my doodles.
...

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     If bathtubs grew onions
       then feet might have bunions
     that...

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