Cat Hilarious Poems

James and Peter
Found a messed up cat litter
Close by at Peter's

A cat is amiss
The litter smells of cat's piss
The missus remiss

The miss is too slow
To...

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Skeletons In The Closet

The stoners are in the closet
And the skeletons are on the bed.
Wait! reverse that…
The skeletons are in the closet
And the stoners are...

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Destiny good Destiny bad
Destiny bring out the Best in Me Destiny know I ain't got a phone
She give me one call me incessantly

I met a...

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I was thinking the other day.
What if the President came to stay.

As I set and fiddle my finger.
These questions began to linger.

I would welcome him...

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I am allergic to greens, so none of that will do.
It is my persnickety picky-eating cousin, Lulu.
But surely you are not allergic to lettuce, I...

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Chickens clucking, pecking paths in the dust
Cow bawling for the calf who loves her bust
Turkeys gobbling, heads nodding 
Cats purring, dogs applauding
Farmers heeding, flapping hands...

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We made love
          in front of the TV...
        ...

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In the early dawn, the loud barking of my dog
Woke me up;
I arose and went to the door leading out onto
The veranda;
I adjusted the blinds...

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1tKP2npRz4

Sister Yanny baked brownies in the orphanage.  This was a  rare occasion 
for money was scarce and there were more important things to...

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Mother asked her big brother to pass the sugar;

big brother ruined it by splashing on liquor;

father rued spilt liquor by throwing his jigger

that hit sister...

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Not having a dog, he hunts with a cat
not having a cat, arranges another pet
   without a pet he hunts with his duck,
without...

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Who is your favorite family member? Jerry Stringer asks me.
I look around the stage and out in the audience, seeing many expectant faces.
My husband, three...

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Kirby Kirby’s sister’s brother’s cat bit Bill Belushi’s 45 lb. Yorkie on the *** last Tuesday night,
And I’m a real big fan of dogs so…when...

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The cat was crazy, so we named him Craze Meister Threes. 
He was irrational, a fire ball who took down Christmas Trees. 
Why did you...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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