Half Witted Poems


Premium Memberhalf witted and hard boiled

Why are the half-witted usually also hard-boiled?
Not only are they wrong, they will not listen to other’s ideas
They are maniacally determined to be wrong
Determined to do what they want, without facts or proof
Stubborn fools, not necessarily old, but certainly half-witted
Categories: half witted, people,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberDorothy Toto The Gang and Dr Phil

Dorothy and her lovely small dog Toto.
Were all taken up in a fierce tornado.
Ran into three helpless bobos.
A Tin man, Lion, and Scarecrow.
No Wizard needed, just the Dr Phil show.

The three went to see Dr. Phil, a PHD.
No heart for the Tin man, just psychotherapy.
Told the Lion to get a set,
and the Scarecrow to not forget.
All thanked the Dr, and walked away happily.

The Wizard they all thought had magical powers.
Worked and schemed, behind his curtain, every hour.
His curtain was removed.
The people were amused.
Now, he plays behind the curtain in the shower..


Bobo: A slang Spanish word meaning half witted.

Wizard Of Oz Limerick Poetry Contest Charles Messina
Written November 22 2024
Categories: half witted, humor,
Form: Limerick


Current price of a Cello by Istesso Netto

Once she was Pauroso now
she's Rinforzando.
Bisbigliando
:brusco, scordato
she must rehearse and study
to be an image of
perfection

Senza Spianato
and
Graevole Tratto
______________________________
It causes me to wish you near
to make promises
to seek the responsibility of
our togetherness
Then until some half witted
meddler to try to pry us apart
One who wishes to Love like me
and expel you from my heart
trodden the browning grass
that autumn then is near
to reassure you of my sincerity
I kiss you as you are near
__________________________________
Pseudonyms

I changed the tone
completely distorting my sound
that he may never mock me again
Yet which he expected a Tenors tone
I bellowed a full bassy ensemble
of rhythmic jives
and quirks
Might he find me then
I shall be a Baritone
to counter act such intrugence
a countertenor perhaps
than he should
strain to be listened to!
__________________________________
Categories: half witted, art, creation, culture, music,
Form: Bio

Premium MemberWrongful Arrest

She barged through the doors of the bank with her gun
And shot the security guard just for fun
She fired her gun and yelled “Down on the floor,
I’ve shot me one man, I could shoot a few more!”

One customer, Jenna, said, “Hold up, you cretin,
You half witted loser, it’s jail you’ll be gettin,
You charge in this bank with that soppy old pistol
I think I might kick your ass from here to Bristol.”

The robber, fired two bullets into the ceiling
And said, “I shall shoot anybody not kneeling.”
Jenna said, “I’m gonna laugh as you fry.”
The robber said, “You’d better reach for the sky.”

Armed police turned up; one lady arrested
Based on the ‘facts’ that another attested
The robber’s at home playing video games
And Jenna’s in jail for calling her names

And all the police wonder what to expect
Now that they’ve lost any public respect
At lunch break they wonder how low they could stoop
When they’re as inviting as watered down soup.



[What a coincidence; a poem about someone called Jenna enduring an injustice. Pure chance… honest, Guvnor!]
Categories: half witted, innocence,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberMy Paper Air Planes

When I made the first one and suspense-fully sent to flight,
(It was in our class room); entangled in a girl's hair-knot;
She screamed; scratched; principal fed me with lectures might and tight,  
Friends treated me, as though in a murder-case I got caught...!

Once, in an hospital where my father was admitted,
My plane crashed betwixt cleaves of a charming nurse on duty;
They said: get far away lest the doctor here, half-witted,
Would see that your story ends soon just like your plane-sooty...!  

For fun, on day of marital engagement I did send,
This clang to the sari of my mother-in-law; she swore; 
I had to run away for life; it was, yet, not the end,
An indelible tattoo, within and without I wore...!

I make paper-airplanes now; I do not send anywhere,
I don't know where my destiny lies; might be in a hair...!


01 September 2022 
PAPER AIRPLANES Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: John lawless
Categories: half witted, fun, life,
Form: Sonnet


Premium MemberConfusion

To the half witted and handsome prince
Was born a pair of fraternal twins
All through that fateful night
Glum and sleepless he sat
Confused who fathered one of the twins!
Categories: half witted, anxiety, children, confusion,
Form: Limerick

Perfume

mystical sunday morning of a smile
an inward lightly scented
point of view

elusive wisps of crisp air
jazz brushing across the wet, warm sun/sky
of bluish, outstretched
blue

uncluttered by any
unremitting
angel.  bad or good.
restored form grand sorrows, or
not.
whether fettered to a tall roost, or
fallen to the hard
ground

no conjuring up of
clanking, carping
ghost
chains .
clanking & complaining about
half - witted
histories

no horses to ride my thoughts too wide.  no thoughts to skittishly hurry
my horses
limping
by

scattered.  odd and addle -
brained
sludge stuck in
gobbling.  lying.  whining.  and short - 
sighted

the epiphanies of these horrors,
they skate away
for the moment
salted to taste, with
all the time in the
world

this moment with its
vague sense of
well - being

this momentary
minute
with its vague, comforting
sense of
density
Categories: half witted, blue,
Form: Free verse

False Hopes

FALSE HOPES  
She appeared just from nowhere   
And I fell in love with her. 
I thought she was my love forever
But she turned out just a blur.  
 
I wanted her to be my friend   
Rejoiced for no seeming reason, 
Believed she’d love me in the end  
But she squeezed me and left freezin’.

I thought she was my joy, 
Star on the path of my life,  
Believed in her - half-witted boy!
And wished her to be my wife.

She turned the devil incarnate,
The very devil in her flesh.  
Her eyes were evil, full of hate.   
They were rotten, never fresh.
 
Although she was a short young age,
She sounded off like a subhuman.
With youthful spleen and warlike rage,
And I preferred an earthly woman.
Categories: half witted, adventure,
Form: Rhyme

Broken Love

plethoric is his mind
shifting thoughts
like shadows cast
in and out of clouded skies

he falls
with the shame shadiness
into the concealment of pain
arising momentarily 
whenever someone nears

he only hears
words echoing
down lonely corridors 
as they bounce back
from the thoughts of mind
yet he speaks back
in half witted thoughts
that make you look past
the emptiness in his eyes

he weeps
alone at night
his tears
refreshing the scent
of her perfume
on the pillow
he harbors

he feels 
the pierce
of daggers
with each beat
of his heart
as he struggles
to breathe
beneath the weight
of the heavy burden
he carries

…"this romeo is bleeding,
but you don't see his blood"

February 18, 2020

Famous Poetic Lines 3 Contest
Sponsored by Silent One

This Romeo is bleeding, but you don't see his blood - Bon Jovi - Always
Categories: half witted, angst, hurt, lost love,
Form: Free verse

Slighted Artist

Obscured by curtains in a squalid room,
Ignored and trampled on by those above,
The slighted artist has no place to bloom
And no confessor for his need of love.

He roams the streets at night in search of friends
Who might remind him of a brighter day.
At last he turns around, goes home, and spends
His time in flights of fancy far away. 

At day his torpid mind is irked and bored;
He finds himself the subject of half-witted thoughts
And he would rather be avoided and ignored
By men whose dreams by vanity are fraught. 

Find my poems and published poetry volumes at www.eton-langford.com
Categories: half witted, abuse, fantasy, friendship, loneliness,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberAll He Needs

All he needs is "HE"...


His dreams, His goals, His vision to see 

Your push, your fear, your third degree 

Your ignorance~ Your bigotry 


Your envious eyes ~ Your monotonous lies ~ 

Your threats in disguise!

To your surprise ~ and your ego's ultimate demise…


Your half-witted tactics ~ now feathers in His cap-tive 

Improv-inspiration in His lap ~ Ammunition… untapped! 

So you see… it’s You and not “He” who’s trapped… For "He" is FREE!

Lay

(inspired by a poem a friend/co-worker wrote about his struggles)
Categories: half witted, people, uplifting, work,
Form: Monorhyme

Puppy Paws

My half witted dog comes charging in,
tracking in mud all over a clean floor.
Slides across the kitchen into the garbage bin,
yet her charm is something that I adore.

Her tail wags like a helicopter blade, 
tearing up my living room with no regret.
She jumps on me like a live grenade, 
but her love for me I can never forget.

She claims the back yard as her domain, 
batting tomatoes like she was playing tennis.
Her barks for attention drive me insane,
my neighbors nicknamed her “the furry menace.”

I dangle her leash and call her name,
she takes off like an olympic sprinter. 
I do not recall a moment she was tame,
knocking down a vase, coats and a printer.

And of course I get the puppy eyes, 
that devilish look that hides her guilt. 
Then she kills a squirrel to truly apologize, 
because I will later find the milk she spilt.

I guess that she is trying her best,
Pooping on my carpet is how I know.
she sometimes can be sort of a pest,
and lucky me! I get to see her grow.
Categories: half witted, me, me,
Form: I do not know?

A Letter

My beloved,

You smoke too much
Your ceiling is a canvas to it
Do not be silly and reverse my statement. Arrogance.
If it was me then it would be art
A fresco inspirational of a new shift and vortexes coiling
I would demand a proclaimation of brilliance and
Slowly recount under amber silences
Art is art, by artist or by lunatic

You smoke too much
You make a Chernobyl skyline of yourself

I know every crack in that damned ceiling
I know every aspect of the room 
There is no corner I have not searched and no vase I have not smashed
I'm quite a World War too
Regardless we are clung, half-witted and thumbed into blurs

You do not move me
I remain completely unchallenged

I did once want to 
I remain uncompromised, not for lack of trying

These are volatile times and I get bored so easily
I was a reflection and I wanted something precious
A shadow who dreamt of falling ridiculously into light
However, I'm afraid it's come to my attention that I'm
Letting go and letting god

He can do the nasty business as I recount
The mirror image photography of the Napalm-splattered, star-spattered ceiling.

Good bye.
Categories: half witted, inspirational,
Form: Free verse
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