Guff Poems | Examples

List of Member Poems

Hear Me

Want a break from this
Guff you are filling in me
Is triggering and annoying
Give me a chance and hear me.

Premium Member we all fear the geisha militia

they will be here in a few hours General Gee said.
His face was whiter than the walking untalking dead.
Not the Geisha Militia I said, terror inside my head.
Yes, and they have new recruits and a leader, Red.

Red! My blood began shaking and quaking and stuff.
I was quivering now, there was no more bravado guff.
Red has a reputation for harming and messing you up.
We might as well surrender I said. Have you told King Sup?

King Sup is hiding under his mattress, way under the bed.
He is terrified of the Geisha Milita, especially the leader Red.
We were all under the bed soon, hiding there with the king.
“Avon calling!” the army said, as they pressed our ting-a-ling.

On a high

Having the chocolates I bought,
Listening to my guff with a smile.
Accepting the things I taught,
Seeing you try, makes me go on a high.

Chewing the gums you had,
Teasing me for our comedy,
Laughing aloud , I’m glad.
Seeing you try, makes me go on a high.

Sipping the drink we like,
Talking recklessly without minding.
Making me do things you like,
Seeing you try, makes me go on a high.


Premium Member Elizabeth Bennet

One of five sisters near Meryton born, Elizabeth Bennet,
whose towering zeal,  extolled in deft prose at its zenith,
hailed as Lizzy by some, prone to mock prim societal flaws,
with cheek and wry humour, irreverent “guff”aws!



Lierary figure in work Pride And Predjudice
 whose author was Jane Austen

Ashes Flashes

Baggy green pledge..be mean one could allege 

New depths seen to dredge vent spleen sledge

Obscene lexicon ledge to get that slight edge


What do you know here we go first blow

Folks well blokes pokes jokes at Stokes

Campaigner entertainer a cocky complainer


Yawn..forlorn well worn scorn of Kiwi born

Ropey guff about Bazball stuff being dopey

Out of whack flak attack now back on track

Aussie stacks of hacks on a have a go retainer


Haven’t forgotten when Jonny went Rotten

Lost his cool in that whole Lord’s Baz brawl

When Ben’s mens’ gall did enthrall and appall


So one trite slight after another in a row

In a cruel crow from our oldest coldest foe

They bestow their woe of “average Joe”


Get snooty about the beauty of our Rooty

Get fruity saying our defender’s a pretender

Won’t ever get one booty ton while on Oz duty

Just what you’d predict from a convict offender


You wait mate..till your guest & great contender for 

Crest of Test best goes on a big spender bender

AI guys have got to pick your pocket or few

Wonder why dearly creatives are really gruff

Ponder artists fright...why they're in a right huff

As if their plight wasn’t nearly hard enough

Now AI picks alright clearly nicks natives stuff


Copyright blight.. tight AI guys fight with trite guff

Won’t share …it’s unfair…don’t care..life’s tough

Your ”off the cuff”.. they lazily buff.. crazily turn to fluff

Like a stranger getting your lover or wife up the duff


Red hot bot rot danger is rife but still they will just bluff

Strife..this lot don’t give a jot ..another blot we must rebuff

Muster the puff to bust their bluster..off they trot..play rough


Stand tall..together they’ll fall..grab by their neck’s scruff

As sagacity…loquacity.. bodacity & veracity techs nab & snuff

Authentic becomes drab identikit wrecks..cultures these vultures scuff


These AI fingers lingers in everyone else’s pies…Nuff is a Nuff   

Yep and I can hear in my ear.. dear old.. Brian Clough chuff

                             “That’s Bloody rubbish” 

AI guys lies..snaffling then raffling is baffling…but surprise surprise in the buff…it’s total shruff!


Premium Member J D McCaskill

He grew up in a town named Haskell,
but his brother was the family rascal.
He took no guff, 
Nor did he bluff,
and no one messed with a McCaskill.

Premium Member Marlas Cat Turquoise

There was a plethora of magical cats in Marla’s magic hat.
She concealed two of them from the regular populace.
The naysayers, doubters, and the ones on the fence.
Knowing they could not handle Turquoise who was outrageous.

Turquoise is a tabby who materialized or rather transmogrified.
Appearing on a Saturday six years ago in June. She watched him do it.
Not only does he speak English, he speaks sailor, his words are blue.
Luckily, he is not fond of children, and hides when they are afoot.

Turquoise has a mini cat named Goofball who sits on his purple hat.
Goofball does not speak to Marla directly; Turquoise interprets.
Sometimes she wonders if he is making the gobbly gook up.
Turquoise acts as her muse, enticing her to do outrageous things.

Thanks to his influence, she has six tattoos, and her hair is two-toned.
She wears vintage steampunk clothes, and she takes no guff off anyone.
Marla was shy and dull before Turquoise arrived in her apartment.
She is outrageously outgoing now, grateful to him for her new journey.

Premium Member the moon is tired of the lying stars

Who planted this notorious fuchsia tree?
She is alive and glowing, said the moon with glee.
Shining night stars looked down and gave the tree a nod.
They loved her color; felt it was not at all odd.

We see trees like this all the time in May one lied.
The harvest moon rolled his eyes and moved up the tide.
Stars are always trying to trick him with their silly stuff.
He was tired of their tomfoolery and their guff.

Premium Member My Junk Drawer Explained in Rhyme

My mingle-mangle mismash mixed bag of stuff
Is a pastiche, potpourri, patchwork of remnants rough
The accumulation of this junk was not so very tough
Feather dusters, ink wells, rulers, silver links of cuff
Pincushions, a beaver tail, old Spice, smelly snuff
Nails, shoe polish, tape, puffer that does not still puff
Potholders, elf statue, rags to give car a buff
Petrified cinnamon roll, please don’t give me guff.

Premium Member honest Harold

Harold was all bluff and guff
brusque and rough
his words sometimes pinched cheeks too hard
with his honest plain Tennessee talk
Some thought he was rude
he had no filter
he was abrupt
but not corrupt
a few of us appreciated his honesty

Premium Member Homework Blues

Math is tough.
It plays rough -
take's no guff,
calls your bluff,
grabs your scruff.
Had enough?
It clocks you,
knocks you
On your duff.

No More Heroes

When I fall asleep then sometimes, I dream,
of those cowboys that didn’t take any guff.
When dastardly men rear their ugly heads,
they’d step up and say enough is enough.

But now the world has run out of heroes,
no one can teach us what we need to know.
Without Randolph and Roy, Audie and John,
all the bad guys are now running the show.

Now, the black hats are running the country,
they have pushed the gravy train off the track.
Let’s send in John Wayne or Audie Murphy,
or someone we can trust to put it back.

We need a good hero like Roy Rogers,
to come galloping over the green grass.
Someone like the Lone Ranger and Tonto,
who can kick all the bad guys in the ass.

We’re just a bit older than yesterday,
when people always gave more than they got.
Now the pan’s on the stove boiling away,
and we don’t have a spoon to stir the pot.

Nobody believes in doing good deeds,
unless you are willing to grease their palm.
One thing that I can say for sure my friends,
we’re in the storm that comes after the calm.

Premium Member Owl a Lifelong Learner

Owl was unsure what makes fiber optics light up
He pushed back his supper, refusing to sup
I am not going to eat food or drink anything he said
Until I have the answer, lying safely in my head.

He read about quantum physics, and bioluminescent plants
Those reference books will not help him said his much wiser aunts,
They put electricity books in front of him, and arranged them pretty.
He read them all too, but then switched to San Francisco and New York City.

I don’t think he cares about fiber optics, he just likes to learn things.
His mother and father agreed, as he switched to books about kings.
He was reading about steam engines, power tools and other stuff.
Owl is a self-taught lifelong learner, and this is no guff!

Premium Member Enter My Pretty

Enter my pretty if you dare, if you dare.
Who are you referring to? Asked my friend Mare.
Don’t pretty me, or I will burn you down to the ground.
I swear the windows of this haunted house gave her a frown.

She did not care, she takes no guff from anyone.
She can be serious sometimes, taking away all kinds of fun.
I saw her face and knew it was a battle like she had had with our elf.
Spooky Halloween house figured it out too and kept his words to itself.

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