A little ‘taco’ we love to call ‘Nico’
Entered our school straight from Puerto Rico
Made out of old horse meat
Toppings of gopher feet
Our lunchtime sure did become a freak show
Why don’t geckos sink into the sand
Disappearing into the promised land?
What saves their Arizona lives? What keeps them up?
The flaps in between their toes said my Uncle Hup.
I thought he was joking, because he is a funny guy
So, I looked it up in my gecko book which was way up high
He was exactly right, my uncle, with his goofy laugh
Now I am researching the gopher and the giraffe
a gopher sat on my toe today
sassy and saucy, his name was Ray
What fun do you have? The scamp asked me
I rocked my toe, so he could see
Do that again, he goaded me
I teeter-tottered him to my knee
Come back tomorrow the gopher said
He blew me a kiss and my face turned red
If a gopher sees its shadow
Winter's here to stay
More accurate than any weatherman
Even gets it right for yesterday!
gosh, look at the time!
he's gotta go
immediately!
wherever he's headed
punctuality is a must,
he can't just go yet...
his mind
in utter disarray,
repeatedly screaming...
"where's my damn keys?!"
as he goes on a tear
for his misplaced keys,
he implores time to slow
to a c r a w l
but she gives him the kiss off.
she's laced up her running shoes
as he searches
frantically;
his inner voice...
wailing like a banshee,
ocean of tumult violently churns
in the pit of his gut.
a mouse scurrying
room to room
wreaking royal havoc;
clothes flying here and there,
the couch flipped upside down.
his impatience
giving way to panic.
meanwhile,
time's already on the run...
daring him...
" catch me, if you can!"
yet the borrowing gopher
paces around the house,
driving himself crazy, then...
he swings his front door open;
sad eureka!
there it is...
on the other side of the door
his keys dangle
in the keyhole.
time now mocking him...
he's late as can be.
Chubs is gravely flat.
We remove our hats.
Her wheel deflated him—
Chubs, my cuddly cat.
Flounder is lying flat,
ambling on his back.
Her croutons choked him—
Flounder, my friendly catfish.
Gopher is resting back-flat,
striking position for naps.
Her diabolical chocolate gateau
snuffed him out almost.
Gopher rose once again,
my mangy mutt, back-to-life.
Ma decried; she'd die
in a reindeer stampede
I.
I strolled through a field of clovers
Looking each one of them over
When I found that fourth leaf
All my joy turned to grief
When my prize was snatched by a gopher.
II.
Last night as I left the bar
A leprechaun stood by my car
He offered to drive
So I’d get home alive
And now I don’t know where we are.
It Raced Red Seamed Weathered,
Moist Dry Weathered,
Down My Track!
A Best In My Steps From The Box, I Sent It, Past The Berry Patch!
A Step, A Swing, Bust The Ball With My Bat,
Hip's Turned, Hand's Tight, Thundered Smash!
Ooh, You Just Had To See It,
A Best In My Steps From The Box We're Leading;
Past, ... Past The Berry And The Gopher, .... Patch!
Breaking points are reached
when you are gliding
just is as smooth as silk.
Acceptable risks go rogue,
easy-street gets bumpy;
beware then
for there are gopher holes,
shoals of piranha appear
in rain puddles,
then sleeping moles awaken in your head
and they don't like smooth.
Gopher decided he would dig to China, and so he did.
He began to charge customers, who wanted to travel far away.
It’s a joke some said, a gimmick, a tease, a kid.
So, they did not get to venture to China that day.
Anida Mann & Baron Ready
April Showers & Wade Rivers
Bertha Saylor & Abel Crews
Bunny Bunns & Wilt Dailey
Burl E Pecker & Phyllis Upman
Candy Cane & Hedon Succor
Chastity B. Lowe & Noah Hoare
Crystal Clear & Robin Blind
Demi Tasse & Felix Ottic
Emery Board & Harry Burns
Fanny B Hind & Gopher Broke
Gaye B Hind & Ben Dover
Helen Highwater & Goliath Yonder
Iona Studd & Frank Lee Smutt
Ivy Nurse & Levi Tate
Judy Light & Christian Dark
Kitty Purring & Lyon Bastard
Libby Doe & Ida Wannamaker
Lily White & Cole Black
Lucy Furr & Gene Splicer
Master Bader & Linda Hand
Minnie Crumbs & Graham Krakurs
Mona Lott & Val A Parker
Nona Fleet & Barret Awl
Ophelia Balls & Les de Witt
Penny Pincher & August Spender
Peter Fountain & Neva Swallow
Querida Quaker & Axel Greece
Randy Longfellow & May B. Knott
Sandy Beech & Rip Tyde
Tim Burr & Betty Falls
Uma Sermon & Caesar Bush
Venus de Flower & Jerry Attric
Wanda Liquor & Hugo Furst
Willow Whisper & Neil Down
Winona Bett & Willfred Harden
Xina Rating & Tanner Hyde
Yvonne Adam & Rock N Eden
Zinnia Flowers & Owen Breeders
Paige Turner & Justin Thyme
Sun’s up
Neighborhood cats
Have resumed their posts
In my yard full of holes
Arms folded, ever alert
Occasionally arching, creeping
And even springing
At giggling gopher ghosts
The felines revel
In having something to do
Getting it done
Would spoil the fun
Risen
From the springtime flooding along South MLK
A sh#t-skinned slimy pipe
Pops half way up from a grimy hole
Like a gopher molded from iron ore
Neck and head periscoping left then right
Tiny arms bolted to its furry chest of rust
Surveying the silence of this industrial prairie
And the graves pocked from Foundry hammers
Until a school bell bangs
And a kaleidoscope gang of cell phone kids
Clamber from broken windows and dim doorways
To play in this forbidden park
Riding and rocking the new springer like a rodeo bronco
Screwing
The old boss back to its subterranean foundation
Another generation
Re-connecting the muddy wells to our silver faucets.
There is a gopher hiding in the gooseberry bushes,
Kaie, the town gossip told me.
I looked hard.
Got prickled by the bush’s thorns too.
Got bloody.
Hey! Someone said.
It was a snappily dressed gorilla.
He was wearing a Stetson with a paisley hat band.
He tipped it to me when he saw I was not picking gooseberries.
Howdy, he said.
Hi, I said back. Surprised he spoke cowboy.
Have you seen a gopher? I asked him.
We looked together, but could find no evidence of one.
I reported this back to Kaie, gladly. She is always getting something wrong.
I know it was an animal that started with the letter G, she said.
She began naming animals.
Grouse? Guinea pig? Goat?
My friend the gorilla tipped his hat to me from the window.
I waved back.
Gorilla? I asked her.
Don’t be silly, she said.
Wet Wood
Haiku
By: Tom Wright
Lighting wet wood is
An impossibility
With a gopher match
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