Health Giggle Poems

(FND awareness)

Functional Neurological Disorder
Sounds far more serious than required.
However, life now makes more sense.
That's how it is. It's the way I'm wired.

I thought I had...

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Around my hips, too much weight
    In place of a stomach, I've a spare tire
  My face is pudgy, slightly bloated
...

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#HEY, SAY...

GIMME A GLASS OF ROOM TEMPERATURE WATER, FOR STARTERS...WITH A BRIGHT LEMON WEDGE, TO TAKE OFF THE EDGE!

"IN FACT, MAKE THAT A DOUBLE!!"

NO, I...

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Hiccups 

An involuntary spasm 
of the diaphragm 
and respiratory organs, 
with a sudden closure 
of the glottis 
and a characteristic 
sound like that of a...

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The news
    controls my views
  Vials of pills
    mountains of bills

  Lack of sleep
   ...

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Sugar Frosted Flakes and Trix
    Staples of healthy diets
  Cocoa Puffs and Cap'n Krunch
    My sister said to...

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Remember the horror of AIDS in the '80's
    And all those who've died from COVID, of course

  My doctor, God bless...

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Kindness is a trait 
That helps us all mate
Which opens a gate
To pause the spread of hate
Kindness gives you a break
To help prevent ur self...

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My wife says, 'Relax'
    My son says, 'Chillax'

  My daughter tells me, 'Smilax'
    I nod ~ downing Ex-Lax...

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I go to the gym
    so I can fit in
  the pants I bought last year

  Though I must admit
...

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'Twas Thanksgiving Night after
    and all through the home
  You could hear toilets flushing
    as celebrants moaned

 ...

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my feet smell
my nose runs
my heart breaks
my tongue is tied
my liver is chopped
my brain is cramped
my spare rib is missing
my throat harbors a frog
my sweet...

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Is Halloween over yet
  A trip to the dentist please set

    Buy a few pair of extra-wide jeans
   ...

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A fading red lollipop
  shuffled slowly up to me

Told me kids now avoid him
  ‘cos he’s not nutritious, you see  

I whispered...

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Spring Cleaning is Sarah’s dreaded routine
She gets exhausted, drinks lots of caffeine
   She goes to her doctor
   Who gives her the...

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