Funny Farm Poems

I once told a story about my 
Ex-girlfriend Gormless Sue
Well that was part one
And this is part two

Gormless Sue had a farm
She lived in a...

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I once sported a manly beard,
a beastly beard had I.
But then on the farm, at the crack of dawn,
while my lady cheered,
she chopped it off,...

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I just met a scarecrow all dressed in yellow.
Seemed quite nice and really quite mellow.
     A crow was sitting on each...

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As soon as we got to the county fair
The country odor got through my nose hair
Coz above some milk pails
We encountered cow tails
Which filled our...

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My first overnight
was when I was about eight,
tenting with my friend.
Our tent wasn't store-bought,
just a tarp wrapped around some
stacked-up bails of straw.
We lived on a...

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I am a cow 
Of course most of you reading this are also cows
But I have heard a rumor that those creatures
Who walk on two...

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A mass of emerald and ochre leaves,
sway upon the light summer breeze.

Suction of boots to big, wrenched from the muck,
grunting, banging, the metal bucket thunks.

The...

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This ‘moving to the country’ is getting out of hand
The city has it all, where supply meets demand
Each block has a deli
Enough to fill a...

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Poised on a farm in Carolina
Not labeling yields “made in China”
There lived a cow and goat
With milk they couldn’t promote
Because their best milk caused angina




Funny,...

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I was with them in gardens 
                    Planting some vegetables.
              ...

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It burned up our best corn field
Now we've no crops this year to yield
Peculiar, it was never set ablaze

Yesterday they were fully intact
Perhaps an extraterrestrial...

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Donkey in the farm, strong hoofs romping
Wonky when you charm, long spoofs hooting

Donkey standing as you stare, shy when you dare
Teeth grinning as you glare,...

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there once was an old farmer named Dick
he injected his cows that were sick
	Bessie mooed “oh no!”
	as Dick slipped in a hole
“Don’t you bellow, it’s...

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pilgrim turkeys sensing dread

scurry into an old shed

farmer hear our plea

nest we in a tree

and dear friend we are ill bred.
...

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a local farmers cabbages

exceeded county tonnages

the judge said hey joe

you got any mo

my trucks theyre all wreckages.
...

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