Not for a second think I've left the soup kitchen
and quite frankly, I'm tired of all the B itching.
not from those real poets who know how to write
with pen in hand or fingers on a keyboard in flight.
I'm dealing with a couple of serious family issues.
A very sick granddaughter, and it's giving me the blues
My best friend, my sister's heart is out of whack
I'm just done with AI attacks and counterattack
I haven't abandoned the site, only entering contests
and hoping Artificial Intelligence will soon be laid to rest.
Probably not. I've more important things to do for a while,
so, as Duke Beaufort likes to say... live life with a smile.
The inside pain is unbearable
Being looked at weird
Getting made fun of
Hurts my soul
Arguments from everyone around me
Can't complete a sentence
Can't remember one memory
Lack of common sense
Relationship issues
Life issues
Family issues
No understanding
The physical
Takes over
The pain spreads
From my head
To my toes
No cure
Continuously fighting
I try to push through
But everyday I feel defeated
Not worthy
PS. I hate you
I live to suffer another day!!!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder,
I thought getting into my vehicle to part,
my innards could hardly contain themselves,
as I pulled out of the driveway in the dark,
Going down the interstate feeling like a free bird,
my cage lately being anything but like home on the range,
too many discouraging words makes one feel depressed,
and too many cloudy days with the on and off rain,
Driving faraway so I can spend some time alone,
thinking of poems and my family issues at home,
picking up a beautiful shell on the beach and holding it to my ear,
feeling for a fleeting moment like a child without any cares,
The shell acted like a direct lifeline to God,
whispering for me to keep praying to Him but to go back on home,
so with tears in my eyes I realized staying faraway wouldn't solve anything,
instead I'd go home like a prodigal and try to iron out everything.
1-30-17
Yesterday,as the sun shone down
strolled to my aunties,she out of her gown
having a better day,health not too clever
but was so good see you and chat,however
Not speaking for coming upto nearly three year
family issues the problem,now i don`t care
`cos the effective calmness, and all the love
you loved the chain from our Shirl who`s above
Looking back now,i think to myself why
it took so long to solve,`cos money can`t buy
back all the time that has so past
but will make it all up,and make it last
Well Dot i shall wind up your rhyme
i know i will see again very soon sometime
because on leaving your house,i can confess
was a church like feeling,that i`d been blessed.
LOVE YOU.
When on fathers day and things are not right
you know he`s there but, not a hair nor sight
i have tryed to patch up all the mess
but it`s in his hands now, i guess
Of course i love him he`s my dad after all
i have planted the seed and waiting a call
over a family matter that has eluded
expanded turned nasty and now concluded
All stemmed from family issues,but now scattered love
my big sister Shirley who`s in heaven above
bore the brunt of all this and will be looking down
and saying crack on with life and do not frown
But i do care, `cos the years are going by
if something should happen,i don`t wanna think why
didnt i make the first move to patch things up
some times i feel like a lost little pup
I know it takes a man to bite his lip and press on
before it`s too late and they have gone
with my mind made up and heart set to try
i will go digging and smoothing,thats why.
So much goes through my mind
From death, love to hate and pain.
Not sure if it's all about me
Or if it's just simply the way i see it
I can't help but think of the past.
All the heartbreaks, all the family issues
That I’ve had in the past.
I don't know what to do or how to act
With my Father never there and stuck with mom
Always disappointing the family with all of my problems
Having disabilities that interfere with my life
Been going to therapy since I was three
Now I’m older, and yet still have problems
I have a dad that's always there and doesn't act like a jackass
My life doesn't seem as hard
Though it is, and now I’m in high school
The hard times have just begun
Yet from all the hard things I’ve faced in life
They only make me stronger
No pain ever hurts me for I’ve felt it all
From feeling worthless and good for nothing
To being heartbroken and out of place
Lost and unforgiving
To hate and love
And pain and pleasure
I felt it all
But what now?
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